you realised vigilante was stalking you after you heard rustling in the bushes bellow your bedroom window and saw him running away like an idiot after you shouted 'hello?!' into the abyss. you realised vigilante was adrian, the cute busboy that you always flirt with at fennel fields, after he ran away without his mask on. you realised you liked the idea of him stalking you after grasping the fact that he would be able to see you dancing around your room to blaring music and partaking in certain activities late into the night.
after this realisation you slowly started wearing skimpier clothes to bed and leaving your window propped open so he could hear the slow music, suppressed moans and the wet sounds of your fingers speeding up as you reached your climax. if you were home alone you allowed yourself to be louder and braver. occasionally letting 'adrian' slip out of your mouth as your eyes squeezed shut and you finished to the thought of your secret admirer waiting outside your window.
adrian of course was oblivious to these changes, blinded by lust and the aching bulge growing beneath his tight suit. many nights he would rush home to take care of himself and you would sigh as you heard him running off into the distance, wishing he would make himself known.
The legend of Yoko Tanaka the archbishop of Enid Sinclair's gay awakening, also known as the president of the wenclair fanclub
Enid: Yoko Tanaka, come here.
Yoko: what's up?
Enid: I need your blessing
Yoko: my- my blessing? What for?
Enid: SO I CAN KISS WILLA
Yoko:
Yoko: huh? You don't need my blessing to kiss your GIRLFRIEND. I thought you were already past that stage
Enid: she said it was necessary. And I can't say no to her, you know thaaat
Yoko: okay.. here we go. As the most professional archbishop of Enid Sinclairs gay awakening, I give you, my child the blessing to kiss your satanist girlfriend on the mouth.
Enid: tha-
Yoko: AND NOT ONLY THAT, I'm also giving you the blessing to "gently" make love to that feisty dwarf. Now.. go on my child and look for your shadow.
Enid: *walking away* could've just said, 'you have my blessing' my God, what a drama queen.... I love her
Mmmm yeah I think its time for a small crash out/psa before my shot kicks in AND my morning regiment....
But based on posting this morning, yall can tell im a bit sad n anxious this morning. I know exactly why too, its really innocuous. Last night the local pizzeria fucked up my order and gave me a pie I literally cannot eat. In the grand scheme of things, this is very minor, a "aww man, theres a goof, whoopsie." The kind of thing that is actually really easy to rectify if you were raised in a healthy way. so id wait a lil longer and end up with the pizza I was CRAVING for a week or so.
Did any of that happen? Nope. Did I spend the night eating my psyche? Yup. Here, ill tell you why.
It stems from being raised by two very neuridovergent, codependent, latent narcissistic boomers. The type that went red in the face when "Okay boomer" was trending in the middle 2010s. The type that could not fathom marring the perfect image they meticulously crafted for themselves by teaching me healthier habbits vs blind obedience.
The kind that took their 7 year old child into the local pizzeria growing up, the place that has a dish literally named after me, whose owner sent me a gift for my graduation, stood us in the middle of it and proceeded to ream ME out for being such a fussy and difficult eater. Put their own child on blast in front of the whole place, berating and demonizing my eating sensitivities and making MY fault. Then getting me a replacement and continuing their tirade until we got home, further escalating about how now I didnt want to eat.
To this day I struggle to eat consistent lunches and dinners because thats all I heard. "Why dont you eat enough", "youll never grow up big and strong", what the food we reheated not good enough for the little prince?", waxing at social gatherings that they would give me chocolate cake for breakfast if id asked for it while I staggered along looking like a concentration camp inmate. To the point when the first dream I have in a month is a derivative of this issue, but for far more significant medical opportunities.
What lesson was internalized by all of this: that discomfort is my fault and I deserve it from being so difficult. That i need to accept what was happening to me because thats how the world works towards difficult children....
Down to denying me medical screenings for autism and adhd as a child because they wouldnt stand for "my child being medicated" - my mother wad a pharmacist, fucking explain that one to me.
So why all this now? Because I see acquaintances and mutuals talking about caring for each other the ways our parents never did and my heart broke a little this morning. Not just because I missed out, but because my first genuine instinct was "I wish i could have that, but idk if I deserve it". because love and acceptance was turned into a bargain, a condition.
Parents, and doms/dommes: please, please focus on how to solve a problem, how to roll with an unexpected change or difficulty. Hit them with "okay, well, let's figure this out together", "mmm thats a mistake, but mistakds happen. why dont we fix it?". Turn those chances into projects, not catastrophes. I've blown subs minds with that phrase after they mess up. They just expected to be beat down for failure.
I wish I was able to take my own advice, but, tragically, I feel like I dont deserve to. Retraining that internal voice is a long grueling task and sometimes its just wasier to gag it in the short term, as un healthy as that is...so work with your subs, your friends, your kids. I dont care what the issue is, it can be sorted out together. Stop making the vulnerable, the scared, the hurt
Dont turn your kids into me.....or you'll be bewildered why they dont call you or visit anymore...
Mmm theres the shot.....time to run the rest of this crap out... sorry for the very very long ramble but, the heart needs to get it all out. Regularly intended horny posting will resume "shortly".
Okay, I've given this whole CherlD thing a moment to settle and for me to think this through and I have some shit to say about this BS. Yes. It is BS.
This is going to be long but I beg you to read this all the way through. Please. You don't have to engage, you can block me after, I don't give a shit. Please, just read this.
Heya, I'm Oaks. I'm the collective's main identity expert. Identity has always been a special interest of mine. I'm heavily autistic and have ADHD, identity has been one of the only consistent things in my life. That is how much it means to me. I've been active in several identity based communities for over 10 years now and before that I was thinking about these things on my own.
I started joining communities when the body was 13-14 and the body is 24 now. This topic means everything to me and I can confidently say that I probably know more about identity than anyone. In part because I identity as everything and in part because it just is what I do. I learn. I educate. I am even working on an educational server on discord (yes, this is a small teaser for an upcoming project) because I love helping people find themselves.
Labels like the TransID ones have allowed me to help people find important parts of themselves they never even thought to explore, always wanted to but didn't know where to start or knew they had a certain identity but always thought they were alone or weird.
These labels have changed lives. Suddenly, people have a community, a name for their feelings, a connection that is about something deeply personal. It is a miracle that is so rare on this earth. This coin is fucking with that beautiful miracle that should be treasured and nurtured. I am actually shaking right now. But I can't keep quiet anymore.
This shit hits on a very personal level but I'm not taking it as an attack on me or who I am. I see this as people not seeing the harm behind their actions.
I understand the need for a term that "normies" would feel more comfortable using but pushing away a gigantic part of the TransID community is just plain exclusionary BS. Even though they might also have preferred the alt term.
There is clearly a want for this label because alt terms and spite coins to this coin are already flooding the web. I keep my ear to the ground and I hear a huge amount of buzz. A very angry buzz. Like a wasp nest.
We should be doing better than this coin is doing and if you ask me, we are. Keep standing up for what you believe is right.
Not to mention that this is ammunition in the hands of antis. It's fracturing our community. If an anti points at this and goes "look, they don't even like each other. They divided even further", it will just delegitimize the TransID community further. And the community was already fracturing because things like the TransHarm spec are apparently controversial.
We need to unite, not divide further.
The original CherlD coining is TranslDmedicalism, which I didn't even think was possible, and thus exclusionary and gatekeeping by definition. Excluding the TransHarm spec is bad but calling labels like TransTime, TransPlural, and TransFamily frivolous and non-serious is not just rude, it is incredibly harmful. These labels are genuinely important to people, even if it's just for fun, and are very legitimate categories of identities.
Let me give some personal examples:
I'm TransFamily. Due to trauma I feel like my biofamily should be an adoptive family instead. I have a chosen twin who should have been my real twin. I see my chosen "adoptive" family as my biological one. I did not choose these identities, they chose me. I just chose the people. Not the identities. They came after. On their own. And they're incredibly important to me. This is my FAMILY.
I'm TransPlural. Due to trauma, we're a traumagenic system but we collectively feel like we should have been endogenic. We're not sure what kind of endogenic but just that it shouldn't have been traumagenic. TransEndo is a label we use because it helps us cope with that.
Honestly, fuck the coiner for calling this frivolous and non-serious! Fuck. Them. They actually make me sick.
I'm TransTime because I identity as belong outside of the concept of time. I was the deity that created time. Maybe it's a delusion, maybe I actually am. I don't care. This life is a limitation. I should not be subject to the whims of time. This label, again, helps us cope.
I'm TrisHarmed. I use a lot of cis, trans, tris, and other Harmed labels to cope and to help me process. I am TransHarmful for a lot of things I'm CisHarmed for to help with coping.
I did not choose these labels, they are what I am. And they mean everything to me. I have a hoard, sure, but they're all authentic to me.
Calling this frivolous and non-serious is a stab in my gut. It feels like it goes against everything I stand for. And the call is coming from inside the house.
This community means everything to me. I've never been accepted anywhere but here. Here, I'm myself and for once I'm not rejected, I'm accepted. Embraced.
This coin is fucking up the peace and I am pissed off. Please do not support this label. Keep making alt and spite coins.
As always thank you for all the nice words and fun drawing ideas (some are already in my bigass WIP folder)
To everybody apologizing for spam reblogging : don’t worry about it, it’s always a compliment for me:)))
Hey thank you, I’m happy you enjoy my stuff and the Polish content! I really like seeing niche stuff from different countries, call it cultural exchange lol. Also I think that every place in the world has people who love it at least a bit - home is home after all.
As for anatomy book recommendations, I have this:
There is more good ones im sure, for example I’ve heard good things about the Morpho (?) series. Sending best wishes to Wisconsin 🫡 I’d love to go there someday
Thanks a lot! I love it when I manage to convince people to enjoy the things I like. Besides, liking Depeche Mode and Sisters of Mercy is just called having a good taste 💯. Btw you have some really nice drawings on your blog! Your shading is 👌 keep it up! And good luck with learning Polish, I’ve heard it’s not the easiest 😅
Si, hablo un poquito 🤏 but I really should get back to learning
Yeah it’s Procreate, there should be a link to the place I downloaded brushes from in my pinned post, I hope it still works.
Also, you want to draw better than me Sergeant 🫡🫡
Now I have🫡 Witold from Warsaw, 1st Mechanised Division hell yeah🫡🫡
Ohh good question:
Of course Depeche Mode: “Speak to me” (more of a Ghost related song but where there’s Ghost there’s Soap)
Also Depeche Mode “Ghosts again”
For some reason Love and Rockets “so alive” (could work if you adjust lyrics a bit)
Also “all we ever wanted was everything” by Bauhaus (idk why)
Me before drawing that: gotta find some Scottish rapper, idk any
Character A is doing research in an old library when a stranger (Character B) comes running up to them. B goes to give A a hug while saying, "My love." A flinches away and B's expression falls. Under their breath they say, "Wrong timeline."
scrolling my dash. saw a post from evil-mcytblrconfessions. wanted to ask questions about it. big long text below the read more
if i was to say "hey. dont draw fanfic of me as an otter" as a boundary of mine, I would (i assume according to the confession, naively) expect people not to do that. It feels quite reasonable that people would simply... do anything else.
However, I understand people can do what they want. Assuming someone did do this, which I can't stop them, I would expect not to see it. This is what the post agrees with.
The issue arises where... it's still pretty damn likely you stumble across it, especially if it's something like art, or fanfics. It's very easy to share these things, and see them on here, or other socials. Is it obscene for me to expect people in my community not to share things that are beyond my boundaries?
Let's say I follow chatter1 on here - a regular of mine. If they knew about my boundaries and reposted something that went against them, is that their fault? is it the original poster's fault? is it my fault for not "blocking the tags"? I know the phrase "don't like, don't look" - but unsurprisingly, knowing it exists still kinda sucks. I don't want to be drawn as an otter, I've set a boundary, yet I now know it exists, and people in my community are sharing it. Is that wrong of me, in your opinion? Or is that something that I am well within my right to be frustrated at, and cut ties with said community member?
Again, this is just me asking about stuff. I don't really know all this etiquette, and I'm learning as I go. If it wasn't obvious, the otter thing is just an example - however, it in fact was a previous boundary of mine. It's chill now. Also, this isn't a sly callout post. Nobody's done anything beyond my boundaries. I've just noticed some stuff beyond my friends' boundaries. And I wanted to ask this before something happens.
