Firelord!Zuko x Empress!Reader (Epic the Musical inspired)
Masterlist
CH 02: Heavy is the Crown
Chapter synopsis: Zuko’s arrival was long overdue. His disappearance is taking a toll on you, and everything was suddenly too heavy to carry without him by your side.
Warnings: slight swearing
w/c: 1.8k
a/n: this chap is purely the reader’s perspective, lots of yearning and a bit of angst but idrk if it’s sad enough to be considered it,,, reader is short tempered and tired, miss her husband sm huhu there’s also a ref to zuko’s letter to uncle iroh with the whole zuko, age something,, also i hope i can remember to write him getting his fire cracker buns at the end of this series heueheheh we’ll know what exactly happened to Zuko next chap;))
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”To my Blazeheart,
I miss you. From moments where I watch the sun disappear into the horizon and the sky turning your favorite colors—to the cold nights and harsh waves of the waters and I yearn for your warmth, I miss you.
We’ve yet to find any clues on what happened to the ships; except for one shipwreck near the coast of Ember Island with no survivors. The locals said they haven’t seen or heard anything out in the waters the time that ship was out. It was like something chewed the ship up and spat it right out.
Some of my men here are speculating on rumors. Rumors—or legends, I’m not sure, of ocean spirits or sirens. I highly doubt ocean spirits like that are still roaming in these waters, let alone make our fleets and trade ships disappear so many times in a row without fail. The sirens, though? Now that’s stretching it. I think they’ve been telling each other too many horror stories of deadly sea women luring their fellow mates to death before bed.
Though I do remember during the Siege of the North back during the war, Aang merged with some water spirit…that was the closest thing I saw that even resembled a giant ship-eating spirit. That explanation to everything is unlikely—but not impossible…I think.
I’m doing fine so far, so no need for any worries. Besides you, I miss your homemade fire cracker buns. I hope I can have some once I return. Please sleep early, don’t stress yourself with everything—I’ll handle it when I return. I hope you think of me when you drink tea. I will write to you as soon as I can. I love you.
Love, Zuko, age 28”
Your hands gripped the pages of the letter tightly, knuckles turning white as your thumb caressed the ink, his handwriting, the slight smudges of the ink—the minor crookedness of each paragraph…
It was so…him.
It had been a lot more than 2 weeks since Zuko’s been out on sea with his fleet—5 weeks to be exact, his ship’s arrival long overdue, the letter in his hands the last you’ve received, and the recent ones you’ve tried sending to him bouncing back to you with no receiver to give them to.
A knock on your office doors made your head snap up. “Empress?”
“Yes—come in,” you called out, recognizing the voice as the voice of the Grand Chamberlain.
The doors opened, candle lights beside the entrance flickering from the wind that came as he came in, shutting the doors behind him. You’ve been holed up in your office for the past few days, only coming out when necessary. You kept re-reading every letter Zuko sent you, trying to find clues about his whereabouts—something you might’ve missed. If it weren’t that, you were staring at maps all over the world, the blue representing the oceans becoming an eyesore. Other times, you were demanding any answers or news about Zuko.
“Is there any news?” you asked, the urgency bleeding in your voice despite how hard you tried for it not to.
The Chamberlain shook his head, a solemn look on his face that usually wore a stern scowl. “No, Empress.”
“Then why are you even—“
“The council is growing concerned.” he interjected, cutting off your initial outburst. “You cannot stay in here all day, you are needed to fulfill the duties that the Firelord would do if he were here.”
“We are doing everything we can to find him, your majesty. Even the Avatar and the rest of his team is doing everything the can to try and—”
“Then try harder!” you snapped, rising from your seat as it scraped back on the carpet. To you, they weren’t trying hard enough to find their beloved Firelord—to find your husband. It was like the world was crashing and burning and everyone around you didn’t give a shit.
“He is the Firelord—he’s my husband! Why aren’t you all acting as if this isn’t an urgent matter?!” Everything was overflowing at once, hot tears pricking at your eyes. You wanted to scream, demand that they find your husband day and night, to never stop until they do.
But there was still a part of you that was trying to be reasonable, even in this moment of heated emotion.
Your knees went weak as you collapsed back in your seat, head in your hands and your face wet with tears. The crown atop your head suddenly feeling too heavy, too unbearable for you to carry without Zuko by your side.
“I sincerely apologize, Empess.” The Chamberlain said, his voice utmost professional and unwavering, it got on your nerves even more. You needed him to leave before you set fire to his tunic.
“I shall take my leave.” you let out a breath you weren’t even aware you were holding until the sound of the door shutting filled your ears. Your breath shook, and you never recalled a moment in your life where you wished Zuko was here to be strong for you when you couldn’t more than now.
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You stirred in bed, your muscles feeling sore as ever, as they have been for quite some time now, the spot on the bed cold, missing its warmth as it has been for the past six years.
You kicked the blankets off you before getting up, the muscles in your body screaming at you to lay back down, but the day called.
You sat in front of your vanity, grabbing a brush to detangled your hair that a few years ago, would’ve been free from any tangled courtesy of Zuko’s fingers running through it all morning. You caught a glimpse of your reflection staring back at you. Age wearied your face, just a bit. Less of it was from age, more from stress. One or two wrinkles on your eye bags, a few whenever you wore a certain expression on your face.
You couldn’t help but wonder; would Zuko have wrinkles by now too? Or would his unscarred skin stay smooth?
Despite the time that had passed, how people, even his own friends that were practically his family have stopped looking for him and his ship, focusing on their own matters in Republic City and their respective Nations. Despite how your subjects were looking up at you now as the Firelord and stopped expecting, stopped waiting for his ship to arrive back at the docks, you never, ever—not once even dared to think that he was gone.
Whispers may say you’re in denial, delusional. But to you, you would wait for him to come home and embrace you even as your hair turned gray.
He was still out there. You could feel it.
The flame you two shared hadn’t gone out on his part yet.
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Council members stood in orderly fashion, the Chamberlain standing at the foot of the long flight of stairs that led up to the thrones. The throne beside yours, Zuko’s throne, sat empty. You refused to sit there. You wouldn’t.
“And what else on today’s agenda?” you asked, looking expectantly at the council. The silence hung heavily in the large room, the only sound echoing off the walls and ceilings were the crackle of the candle flames that adorned the room.
The Chamberlain glanced around, a frustrated huff leaving his lips. Cowards.
With no other choice, he had to be the one to bring it up himself despite the other council members standing accordingly a few feet away from him had been the ones bringing it up so frequently when you weren’t in the room.
He cleared his throat, looking around once last time before finally spitting it out. “About the potential suitors, your majesty—“
“No.” you quickly shot him down, annoyance rising in your chest. You’ve discussed this multiple times before—you weren’t going to do it again, you weren’t going to be wed again. You couldn’t. How could you? How could they ask of that from you when you couldn’t even in your husband’s empty throne?
“I—your majesty—“
“We’ve discussed this multiple times before, haven’t we, Grand Chamberlain?”
“We certainly have, but—“
“And the answer is no.” you repeated firmly. You were already stubborn in other matters before, but this? You were an immovable boulder not even Toph could bend.
“I’ve made it clear, I am not going to even think about finding a new husband. I’ve had my great love.”
“Your majesty,” The Chamberlain interjected, hoping he could get his point across without being set ablaze, the other council members suddenly interested in the red and gold trim of the carpets on the floor. “Many sacrifices need to be made—for love or not, the nation is in need for an heir.”
“You do not have to love anyone new, but a successor to the throne is a must, especially now that you’re er…”
“Aging.” you almost snapped him like a twig right there and then. You were not going to receive a lecture about aging when the very man speaking was losing white hairs as we speak. What the hell is with the mindset of women being old in their 30s?
“And having a new Firelord to rule by your side will be of benefit too.”
“Please, I ask of you—we, ask of you to at least consider it.”he looked over his shoulder at the other council members whom were preparing for the consequences of him bringing this up again to you.
“…This meeting is concluded.” your unusual calmness startled everyone in the room, the council looking up at you—expecting for flames to rise behind you along with your anger, but you simply stood up, descending the flight of stairs before exiting the throne room.
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Night fell, the stars shining brightly despite the moon being obscured by clouds. It was a shame, really. The moon must’ve looked beautiful, something Zuko would’ve gawked at.
Your hands gripped the railing of the balcony, the silks of your nightwear smooth against your skin. The thought of finding a new husband for an heir weighed heavily on your mind, the guilt that you were even letting this consume your mind weighing heavier.
You couldn’t do it.
But everything Zuko’s father had taken, had ruined for him and the nation—everything Zuko had rebuilt by himself; you couldn’t let all that crumble to the ground.
A heavy sigh left your lungs, squeezing your eyes shut. Everything suddenly felt suffocating, even the oxygen you breathed.
You opened your eyes once again, looking out at the vast ocean, hoping that if you looked a little harder, Zuko’s ship would come into view.
It was until something in the distance, among the tidal waves, a flash of colors.
Not just any colors—multi-colored flames burning into the sky. Flames only one man that learned from the original master benders of Firebending—the ancient dragons Ran and Shaw would be able to make.
We met up at a gay bar on a Wednesday. We were the only straight people there. We sat in the back at a high top table. C was performing in drag that night. You were with me because I didn’t want to go alone. It was not my usual scene.
I ordered us a pitcher of Budweiser. It was stale and cheap, but it did its job in getting us drunk enough to swallow our pride and share our feelings. As far as I knew, you were still with her and had no intention of leaving. As far as you knew, I only wanted what I couldn’t have.
You ever have that intense longing for adventure? Or like something exciting and not super common to happen? And you can feel it in your chest and you want it so bad yet you know it's not going to happen?
Oh Sehnsucht, du liebe Sehnsucht. Was würden man nur ohne dich tun? Du bringst einen dazu die verrücktesten Dinge zu tun. Aus purer Lust und Liebe. Du breitest Schlaflose Nächte und jede Menge Herzschmerz. Du kommst zu uns, wenn wir vermissen, was wir lieben. Sehnsucht, nach Stränden, an die wir wollen; Sehnsucht nach Menschen, die wir lieben; Sehnsucht nach Musik, Kunst und Abenteuer.
I am constantly blown away by how many beautiful and interesting people I see each day, how much longing I feel for true intimacy and authentic interaction, and how fucking difficult it seems to be to reach out and connect with just one person.
