Kiss Me, Not Him: Soulmates
˖᯽ ݁─ Toph Beifong x Fem!Reader
Read previous part here .ᐟ.ᐟ
synopsis: Fate brings you back together.
warnings: angst, hurt, regret, no use of y/n, might be a bit ooc, implied internalized homophobia, yearning, pining, bittersweet, not proofread
a/n: i kissed the brick before throwing it
———————————————————————————
You’ve been sleeping a lot more lately.
Not just because you were tired, you were far from sleep deprived actually.
But because you found yourself preferring sleep; because that’s where might you find her.
She occupied your thoughts—you’d open your eyes and hope she’d be there, smiling at you. You’d close your eyes and see her face sleeping next to you.
The line between your subconscious playing tricks on you and memories spent with her were blurred in your dreams. You’d find yourself feeling the ghost of her touch caressing your face at night only for it to be the gentle breeze that felt so similar to it.
And on nights your brain couldn’t shut off, you found yourself at the garden hidden on the far end of the city—the hidden gem you used to sneak off with her whenever you both needed to shut the world out, but not your world.
She liked how the grass felt against her feet, not too itchy or tickling against her calves, and you liked the flowers and how the moonlight would illuminate her face.
And it was one of those nights.
“You’re here.” your head snapped over your shoulder, the familiar silhouette coming into view.
She sat next to you on the bench that was already being overgrown with moss. The distance between you two was so small, yet also so far. This wasn’t about the bench.
Silence hung in the air for a moment; the once comfortable silence now feeling suffocating and both of you were holding your breath along with it.
“I broke things off with him,” silence, the howl of the wind become the only icebreaker. “For good.”
You turned to look at her, your eyes scanning for anything—for any hesitation, any sign she’s lying.
But there was none of that.
But instead a mix of emotions that looked awfully similar to yours.
“And you’re telling me this because?”
She turned to ‘look’ in your direction, pearl eyes that shone brighter than any found in the sea seemingly staring into your soul. “Because it’s always been you.”
You blinked, your heart indecisive, not knowing whether to drop to your stomach or race from the confession. Both, maybe?
“I did, but I don’t understand—“
“It’s always been you.” she repeated firmly, almost snapping but her voice sounded far from it. It sounded soft, like during the dumb conversations you had with her late at night about nothing in particular, only focusing on the sound of the other’s voice.
Or the mornings she woke up with her legs tangled with yours.
“It’s always been you—“ she repeated for the third time, trying to convince you and herself of the fact. “I always found myself comparing him to you, and Agni, he could never compare.”
She shook her head, fists balling in her lap. “It took me too long to realize it because maybe I wasn’t sure of myself either,”
You didn’t interrupt her, letting her spill everything she’s clearly been carrying for so long. And she wasn’t going to stop either. It was the first time she’s heard your voice in weeks, felt your heartbeat, smelled your scent again. She wasn’t going to let this go to waste. She’d rather try than regret the rest of her life not.
“I’ve spent my whole life thinking I’d never be bound by rules again—that I wouldn’t please anyone at the expense of myself again.” she swallowed the lump in her throat, something hot brimming at her eyes that she wasn’t a fan of.
“But in the end I ended up trying so hard to feel less—to be the person everyone’s expecting me to be,”
“And I’ve spent too long trying to convince myself I don’t love you when I do.” she could feel your heartbeat racing. How badly she just wanted to lay her head on your chest and press her ear against it, the rhythm soothing her to sleep like it always did.
“I love you—and I have to stop acting like I don’t,” she recalled the words she said to you—how cold she responded to your own confession.
“I love you. All of you.” she tilted her head up, unseeing eyes meeting yours. Please, just engulf me in your warmth again.
“I want to be what you need. To be who you need. To be who you deserve.” her voice came out in a quiet whisper—one that if she heard came from anyone else she’d deem pathetic.
How the tables have turned.
Then, she felt your familiar warmth that felt all too close to being the definition of home engulf her again.
The dam broke, she wrapped her arms around you tightly, hoping this wasn’t just another trick of her subconscious, that this was real. That you were real.
“I’m sorry.” A broken sob escaped her lips and you gently shushed her. Your breath fanned her skin, hot and welcoming.
“You’re captivating, you drive me insane,” a pause. “You’re real. You make me feel real.”
“I love you.” you pulled away, your face inches from hers, tears of your own now rolling down your cheeks as you wiped away her tears with your thumb, feeling the softness of her skin again, the softness that you adored so much. “I love you every time we’re together, every time we’re apart. All the time.”
You leaned in, gently kissing the salty tears away from her eyes before leaning your forehead against hers. “You’re beautiful.”
Suddenly, she closed the distance between you two, arms around each other’s neck, releasing everything you’ve been trying so desperately to keep from each other.
The taste of her lips felt like heaven. They were heaven.
———————————————————————————
She finally found her voice after managing to find you in the sea of people, the mixing sound of mingling and heartbeats.
You looked up at her, having finished a conversation with someone else you knew.
“You made it.” you sounded almost…surprised.
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” a bittersweet smile crept on her lips. If she could pick only one day to see, she would choose today.
Even if it meant seeing you in a wedding dress for a wedding that wasn’t hers.
A lopsided smile crept on your own lips, “It’s been a while.”
She chuckled, “More than a while.”
The whole interaction squeezed at her heart a bit. How you could both only manage to hold small talk now when before you would talk about everything under the sun with ease, or sit in comforting silence.
“I’m happy for you,” you had found a woman who wanted you from the moment she saw you—someone who was actually sure about you, no doubts, no buts, no what ifs.
But you’d always be her biggest what if.
“I really am.” she added despite the fact the memories kept creeping up her line of thoughts more often than she’d like to admit.
“I know.” you said quietly, the small smile on your face shifting to something more nostalgic.
“It’s nice seeing you again.”
“Would say the same but I can’t really see.”
You snorted, the humor in her still not faltering even after all these years.
“Fair point.” a few clock ticks passed by, eyes memorizing her face for the last time before you spoke again. “It was nice seeing you again. Really.”
“Wouldn’t doubt it for a second.”
You opened your mouth to say something, only to be cut off by the officiator and DJ in one, a close friend of yours announcing it was time for the first dance.
“That’s my cue,” you said, turning back to her one last time. “Thank you. For everything.”
You took one of her hands in yours, gently squeezing them before walking off. Happy guests occupied the space, congratulations hanging in the air for the newly wed couple.
The feeling of your feet stepping across the floor, in sync with someone else’s drowned out the music and chatter around her.
It had been years since that night.
And it was also the moment both of you realized that you both knew you were in love, so in love.
But it would’ve never worked out.
You deserved someone sure of you from the start, and you got that said someone.
And she needed to be the one to be sure of someone from the start.
But she was sure of one thing,
Loving you, everything that happened between you two—it was never a mistake.
She’ll toast at your wedding day, but you’ll never be that twenty-something girl declaring your love for your best friend again.
Maybe in another life, in some other universe she’d be deserving of you. Maybe she would be the one you’re intertwining your soul with at this moment.
You were soulmates, but only in a different lifetime.
———————————————————————————
a/n: currently working on the princess toph x knight reader rn, but i might write an alt ending where they’re happy and riding off into the sunset in lesbian style
anyway pls rec more stuff to write plspslsls
