Can't Be Erased Ch. 1
Lore Soong x Reader
"I'm the product of an artist Whose creations bring delight Just free yourself from reason Soon, you'll see in black and white Is that my heart that's beating Or illusion I'm alive? Call me a seed of evil, but what's that mean If I'm conceived within your mind?"
- JT Music: Can't Be Erased
Synopsis: Nearly two decades after Lore's deactivation, the two of you are left with the choice to either reconcile or be destroyed by the past.
canon-divergence, angst, intrusive thoughts, sexual tension, toxic relationship, violence
Dividers by @plum98, thank ya', love!
Lore had been an exceptional manipulator by nature - but first and foremost it was himself who got stuck in the web of lies he so carefully constructed.
Anger and hatred are woven so tightly into his cirtuits, sometimes he feels like it's all he ever knew - but his immaculate memory proves otherwise.
Mildly put, Lore was far from what the colonists expected when Dr. Noonien Soong greatly announced his latest creation. They thought of an obedient machine, an advanced tool to use at their whim, but he was none of that. The opposite even.
Ever since his activation the other colonists were unsettled- no, downright terrified of his capricious temper and the sheer endless potential for violence seething beneathe a perfectly composed facade.
All of them thought Lore to be malicious and erratic, but they had no idea of the determination it took to go against this inexplicable urge for rampage that made up the very essence of his being.
The android was a ticking time-bomb, that much was sure.
And soon enough everyone had given up on him, even himself.
However there was one exception that relentlessly refused to give up on the android, even long after his own creators started to see him as a failed experiment more than an actual person.
Aspiring to join the Starfleet as a geologist in the future, you had been assisting the cyberneticist's wife, Dr. Tainer, for a while now to gain experience in her field. And being a regular visitor at their laboratory meant to inevitably cross paths with their android 'son'.
You first met him while doing basic sample analysis your mentor had assigned for you to practise on. He had already outgrown his 'childhood' period by then, and of course he had to rudely correct your amateurish methods without even properly introducing himself first.
Usually he avoids other colonists, since during his short period of life he had already become well aware of just how negatively they perceived his nature.
Some would merely feel uneasy in his presence, constantly walking on eggshels since they didn't know how to deal with something that appeared so human yet is not that.
Others however wouldn't even treat him with basic respect nor decency, claiming it would be misplaced in a machine that's only made to believe it had feelings at all.
This had led him to stay inside most of the time, or at least by himself.
Maybe it was boredom or sheer curiosity that made him approach you in the first place - after all, you had been tolerated by Often Wrong and even allowed to take up some of his workspace, which was rare even if he did it out of his wife's request.
In hindsight, despite everything, he didn't regret it.
Because your unusual bond was the only time he did not completely loathe his meaningless existence.
What's been so refreshing about you was the fact that you didn't treat him any differently.
Sure, you'd snap back at him when he was being an ass again and even reprimand him if necessary, but other than that you were always just as kind and carefree around him as you'd be with an acquaintace made of living cells.
To add to that, you never expected him to do anything. He could've boosted your efficiency, complete tasks within a fraction of the time it'd take you. Hell, he could punch those fucking rocks out with his bare hands if only you said the word. But you didn't.
All you ever asked for was his damned presence, and he couldn't wrap his circuits around why.
It made no sense for you to prefer his company instead of relying on literally anyone else that'd be more qualified.
And yet Lore failed to withstand your stubbornly unreasonable affection towards him.
Eventually, the android became practically glued to you like a shadow - whether it was during work at the lab, outside on excursion, or even at your own home you so bluntly invited him to visit whenever he felt like it.
You were sharp enough to handle his verbal jabs - claimed to like his honesty, even - and yet at the same time were so incredibly caring towards him, it was confusing to the rather emotionally stunted android.
Lore on the other hand was downright rude at times, trying to push you away on multiple occasions. He just couldn't allow you too close, was terrified of letting down his guard since his father had shown him love had to be earned through perfection and he was as far from that as one could be.
And yet you stayed, forgave, actively seeked him out again and again and again...
...and while this naiveté could be infuriating at times, it was nothing short of addicting to be desired despite being so inheritly flawed.
Maybe his - theoretical, potential - perfection in absence of purpose was an insourmountable abyss that threatened to swallow him whole. And you were tethering on that abyss, trying to pull him out despite the danger of falling together with him.
Because surely you were the only one able to see his true potential.
And oh you stroked his ego to an almost unhealthy degree, but surprisingly it caused him to do good occasionally, just to hear you praise him again like he thought he deserved.
However no matter how generously you'd water a withered flower, it's far too late for it to accept that blessing, no matter how much it was needed in the past.
It's the same for Lore with being shown affection. He doesn't know what to do with it, or how to return the favor.
Still, it was enough for him to know at least you saw him for who he really was, and not the threat he posed.
With you, he always felt like he was part of something. Normal- no, that's not the right description. You weren't exactly normal either.
Guess you both were your own kind of people, and there was an odd comfort in that.
All this time you bargained, pleaded, fought on his stead for the colonists to not lose hope in the android, insisting that he was merely needing time to adjust and for Soong to figure out how to resolve his issues...
...but what say did an outsider such as yourself really have in the matter?
Of course you weren't able to change their perception of him - not while he sabotaged any of your efforts through his own actions.
It was always just a matter of time until they'd turn against him.
Your family had always been disapproving as well, claiming Lore was nothing more than an object imitating a living being. And to add to that, you were always undoubtedly participating in his schemes, making them fear his bad influence might taint your promising future...
...and when they became aware of just how deep that unnatural relationship of yours had developed, they stopped at nothing to put a halt to it.
You were hurriedly forced to leave the planet, without a chance to settle things between you and Lore: No goodbye, no explanation, nothing.
Everyone conspired a united lie about how you went to chase your dreams without him after all. That you had realized he could never be the man you needed - one that could love properly, give you children, someone with a stable mind that wouldn't constantly drag you down with him.
As if he had just been a stopgap, a toy to satisfy your curiosity with before being replaced by a real partner.
What an irony.
Lore had kept telling himself that he was merely using you as a pastime until he could leave this useless planet and their inhabitants to find the worship he surely was destined for.
Seems like there's only himself to blame for making a fool out of himself - lowering his defenses while raising his hopes like that.
Did he really come into this world just to suffer?
Lore was a walking contradiction, a thing superior to mankind and yet so utterly dependant on them. Formed after the image of a person, yet merely imitating one. Artificial, and yet his emotions so very real they were threatening to tear him apart.
Made by humans, scorned by humans, wronged by humans...
...he almost forgot you were human too.
All his life he had been walking a tightrope on the thin line between calculated madness and complete disarray - and this was the last straw.
There was no need to hold back anymore.
For the very first time he sees everything clearly - there was never something wrong with him in the first place. He's not a monster, he doesn't need to be fixed, he never did!
It's you biological lifeforms that are the true evil, and you tried to subdue him through spreading doubt, out of jealousy and fear of your own inadequacy in comparison.
Lore would kill them all...
...and one day he'll find you as well, to make you grovel in the dirt beneathe him where all you filthy organics belong.
