You were so inspiring for me...
And then I learned you yell at your daughter and consider her executive dysfunction "sheer laziness".
I... I've had enough of being disappointed in world. I don't wanna be disappointed in you. Look, you don't owe anything to me, please don't take this ask as that. But to her...
Executive dysfunction is hard. Executive dysfunction is hell. It is by no means not something that you can shrug off. If she can do some things, it does not mean she can do other things. If she can do things under some conditions, motivation, it does not mean she can do it under other conditions. And yelling and berating and all that stuff is one hell of a DEmotivator.
Parents are not "supposed to be mad" at their kids. This is part of all the same hellworld that tells women they should be feminine and into men and stuff. It often outright ruins people. And you and your daughter might get along well generally but it does not mean you don't hurt her.
When you remember yourself as a teen, you shouldn't think stuff like "me-then could use a good yelling session". It should be "me-then deserved her feelings and all the rest, and so do those who are teenagers now".
Please, don't hurt your kids.
Cleaning the room can wait. People are more important than clean rooms.
P. S. There's a lot of stuff on executive dysfunction on tumblr, including very very good tips on how to deal with it.
I think you need to read more of my posts labeled lori Lou. Or butch mom perhaps.
I am human. Being a mom does not instantly give me unending energy, patience or knowledge. I get frustrated. I get angry. Yes good parents get angry at their kids. Good parents loose their temper. And yell.
If you don’t have kids you may not “get it”. If you do and you stay perfectly calm all the time and never become frustrated you are better than me. Better than most parents
I’m not sure how old of a post you are referring to. Lori and I have done a ton of research on executive functioning and worked on back and forth communication. Communication that is productive and respectful.
Can teens with executive dis function still sometimes just be a lazy teen? You bet your ass they can be. And we’re in constant reevaluation of which time is which.
Sometimes cleaning a room can’t wait. Mice. Bugs. Mold. Bacteria can endanger her health and that of others in the house.
If it was all aesthetic it wouldn’t matter as much but it can affect health, mental health and her ability to sleep, do school work, even relax in her own space.
Search more. I think you’ll find that an honest blog about a momentary lapse in temper is not my norm not that of good, caring parents. And part of why I post things is so others know they are not alone In their imperfections.
Also perhaps see my TikTok. Her and I address this stuff occasionally and candidly.
Lying or showing a snapshot of only our perfect moments helps no one.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMev2dPuX/
