#lotmlb

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Klein normally: I can never tell anyone anything about me, I can only act in roundabout ways for their own safety and my image

Klein w/ Azik: Hi Mr. Azik it's me your beloved student Klein Moretti who is supposed to be dead, here's my current sequence in my current pathway, here are my current plans, and also I have one of Emperor Roselle's Cards of Blasphemy that any beyonder would kill just to look at if you want it

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I keep thinking of fic ideas where Audrey ends up in the worst possible relationship misunderstandings just because I think the Jewel of Backlund accidentally fake dating the worst possible men (in the pov of others) would be funny as hell. For your consideration:

Gehrman Sparrow - no one is happy about this

Dwayne Dantes - no one is happy about this one either

Leonard - her father and brother are incredibly aware that this man is a Red Glove and do not approve of his entire personality

Leonard AND Gehrman - why Audrey. why

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Leonard calls when Klein is just about to start digging in to the coffee shop's new seasonal special.

"Hey Klein," Leonard says. "So I'm at the museum, checking out the new exhibit. You know how they discovered some letters from the Fifth Epoch?"

"Yes?" says Klein impatiently. He skimmed briefly through the article the other day but hadn't given it much thought. Since there was no public outcry about Beyonder secrets, it wasn't likely to have any importance to him.

"Right, so," Leonard continues, and Klein hears a smile in his voice that makes him suddenly wary, "I'm reading some of the letters right now. Were you ever going to tell me about your tragic romance with your Angel of Death? I'm feeling some poetic inspiration coming on."

Klein spews out his coffee across the table. "My what?!"

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Leo: I know you just wanted to be on this mission with me but I won't give up my secrets that easily ;)

Klein: I already know you can't write poetry Leonard

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Thinking about Audrey Hall again and how she started out as this sheltered noble girl who wanted to become a beyonder because it was fun and secret and magic and that's the sort of thing teenage girls love and even as she learned how terrible that world is and she learned how to wear masks and manipulate others for her needs she still began every tarot club meeting with "hello mr fool!" and she made it her business to support those affected by the war and the man called a crazy adventurer is her lonely best friend and in the end all the masks and lies and the fake in her place was all born of a genuine goodness and desire to protect

AND she's a dragon

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Now that I think of it Gehrman's parentage in my relatives au sorta makes sense. Like ok he's got that crazy gentleman thing going on and the gentleman thing can be attributed to him following his socialite father's standards of Being Polite in high society BUT he was also mostly raised by his beyonder mother who taught him the very important lesson of Some People Deserve To Die And Here's How You Can Make Sure It Happens. He's definitely exaggerating his personality while acting as an adventurer don't get me wrong but for the most part he is genuinely just like the Rules of Society are important so if you don't follow the Rules then I get to kill you <- somewhat warped sense of what the Rules are

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Reasons why I think Klein Moretti should consider exploring gender:

shapeshifting

marionettes

I'm pretty sure all those women's fashion magazines he reads are not for sexual reasons

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Looking at official lotm art lineups is like

Klein, Audrey, Leonard, etc: yayy tarot club yayyyyy <3

Amon: alright he's a pretty significant antagonist and really popular besides

Medici: now why the fuck are YOU here