#lots of hate

[chettyspagetti]

I just think they’re neat

[birdly-vagabond]

Final Words

Wow it’s been a time. Some of you may know whats going on, some of you might not but with this influx I wanted to say something and finish this.

I want to say right now after this I will not be answering any messages about this. I don’t want to feed drama on this blog and overall I really really just want it to stop now. I’m tired. I’m busy and have things to focus on. I want to drop it and move on and I’d appreciate it if you can respect that.

----------------------------------

I took a hiatus here not too long ago. I was overworked and burned out and things got bad. I came back and was met with some people happy to know I was doing better and was back! on the other hand, i had a handful of friends who found my absence more inconveniencing than it was worth. I had two good friends here that I go to college with in town that outright told me they didn’t want to deal with me and my baggage and dropped me like a hot potato. All of my jabs have been directed at them, actually. I had a falling out with another friend as well and when I came back, a personal server was deleted, and our characters were broken off. That’s it. that’s what happened. Did it hurt? definitely. Am I angry? Do i hold any ill will against any of them? no. I really don’t. I made an attempt to rekindle a few of them but at the same time with messages from all parties being ignored and more things happening I didn’t feel it was my place anymore to push or try and help. So I gave up.

From all parties however I have been seeing things posted. Does it hurt? still does. Am I gonna start anything else? no. With recent actions I found that any bridges I would have liked to repair have been burned and I don’t want to look back at the remains. I want to move on. I want to drop everything. I don’t want to talk anymore since that didn’t work. I’d like to move on with my own life and go off and do my own thing now. I still harbor no ill will against any of them. I’m not saying I’m the victim here. I’m not. We all are. we all hurt eachother, we’re all at fault and we’re all victims. 

This whole mess as well is what may contribute to another short hiatus. For the first time in while my heart is acting up. Anxiety throws my heart into a weird rhythm and after a hospital visit the other night, with it happening so often it’s putting a lot of strain on the organ and now i’m starting to worry about my physical health.

Believe me, don’t believe me, hate me, don’t hate me. I can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’ve said my part. And I’m asking to let me move on now. I want to drop everything and just. move on. I don’t have good reason to leave the Discord so I won’t. I still enjoy the company of others there and i enjoy seeing the content people create.

[iskelan]

Looks like I have to say it here, once and for all. I was expecting it to happen, but I was not enough careful and clear. So I create this post to link on it when something like this happens again. WARNING - I may sound rude.

I’ve been a fan of Starcraft and Protoss in particular since 1998, and that creates a small (a HUGE for me, but I realize it is small for most people) problem in my communications with the other fandom. I’m not saying I’m too old or something - I have much older fans in my surroundings (and they mostly agree with my point of view) - but I’m saying that 10 years before C. Golden’s books appeared and 14 before SCII came around were enough for me, and not only for me, to create our own perfect image of perfection of form, that has little in common with the new lore. And it would be easier, if the differences would be only in colours (for example I believe their blood is dark-indigo-blue with light blue psionic glow, it’s my headcanon, and I’m not gonna change it). But the point is that I find most events and lore in the Dark Templar Saga simply illogical and inproper for the Protoss race right from the start, and it caused me such frustration that I couldn’t read it further than two of three books - this text and its quality causes me almost physical pain. I’m trying to speak peacefully of it, while everything inside me is crying “HOW COULD THEY ACCEPT THIS HERESY AS CANON!!?” and so on. So I must say it out loud:

I DO NOT RESPECT THE DARK TEMPLAR SAGA LORE AND I PREFER NOT TO REMEMBER THAT LEGACY OF THE VOID ALSO EXISTS Some would say - and so what? Do you have some other lore to use? Some other books to read? YES, I DO.

I HAVE MY OWN STARCRAFT WITH BLACKJACK AND HOOKAHS. And without protoss nipples. And by saying that I mean I really have. For many years I’ve been writing a circle of stories about Protoss, which include a great amount of original characters (more than 60 names and bios in my personal table), history, geography, biology, mythology, philosophy, philology, traditions and so on. I am mostly alone in it and I mostly do it for myself, but I’d really love to share it with more people in fandom that are okay with my little AU point of view (I’d love to translate them and bring to Blizzard, but it’s I guess nothing but an ill dream). Here on tumblr I mostly share pictures and I’m not expecting anyone to read the posts under them. BUT it really hurts me a lot when someone starts to say “Hey, but in the Dark Templar Saga...” I know what’s in there. And I’m tired of explaining why I don’t accept it.

Thanks for your attention.

[highlyoptimistic]

“ Get your hands off my hips, 'fore I'll punch you in the lips Stop your staring at my... Hey! Take a hint, take a hint “

[flynorth]

Drinking and ready to kms so someone come kill me so I can be free? Death might be freedom from this shitty mind and life. I come closer everyday but no one near me seems to give a shit. People only like me cause I’m “pretty” but that’s also caused me to get raped multiple times and not be take seriously at work and honestly that’s not worth it to me. Nothing is fucking worth it anymore. Does this face fool you? Are you fucking fooled yet?

Happy fucking suicide prevention month.

[ruth-talks]

This is my backyard right now and I got to shove'll ALL OF IT

[phanscake]

I only hate myself on Tuesdays

Me