Just took my youngest son (15) back country camping in the mountains for three days. We are so alike but have such difficulty communicating someone's because we think differently about some key ways we approach problems. So I wanted really hard to make this a good memorable event that we shared. The camping was pretty good and we had lots of time while hiking to talk ( but never real personal stuff), so the trip was a success to that point. I was also getting him to do a bunch of the driving - he needs and wants the practice so he can be ready to drive on his own ASAP. It was driving back and in fact literally the "pull-over" so we can switch back (because he was finding the increased traffic starting to be to much) - that I screwed up. He was finding it hard to find a place to pull over. I told him to just donut when he felt comfortable to do it, just don't do it suddenly. Well, he kinda panicked and we miscommunicated. He was trying to ask for clarification and I found his question to be vague so I didn't really get what he was asking and he wasn't happy with my answer and kept demanding an answer urgently because he wasn't sure how to pull over safely/correctly. Few minutes later we were safely pulled over but my frustration boiled over and I blew up at him. As soon as the words left my mouth I was ready to cry and almost did. I freakin wrecked an otherwise great-to-decent trip for him with a 10 second outburst, Why the freakinhell couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut for that fraction of an instance. I feel like the worst failure. We talked a bit about it after a while and I apologized and admitted I should have known better. That I knew he was doing his best and it really was good. But I can't help thinking that not only will he be leery about driving again, but now that will likely all he'll really remember from the whole trip. I feel like I should just die and get it over with and out of the way of everyone's life. Screwing up things seems to be my talent these days.