You are obviously a big wolfstar fan, so I was curious if that was always the case or if you ever shipped Remus and Tonks, and if not if you disliked Tonks in general or just as a partner for Remus?
Hi Anon,
I started off as a Jily fan and very quickly became a Wolfstar fan too. I think the dynamic between these characters is fascinating- the whole star and moon, both rejected in different ways, the mystery around the prank, even the fact that in canon during the first war they suspected each other is really fascinating from an attachment perspective and I feel like canon marauders fics have done an amazing job of explaining how that happened? Also the allusions (albeit vehemently denied by she who must not be named) to them being a couple in canon - quarrelling like an old married couple, lie low at Lupin’s, buying Christmas presents together, the 40 line stare - even the actors and director of PoA thought they were a couple! I could keep going 👌💕
I liked Tonks as a character at the start - she’s great! Her backstory is excellent too. I just don’t think Remadora works at all. Romance is not JKR’s forte in Harry Potter books, let’s face it.
But here especially, we know she basically didn’t start off planning on Remadora happening, but wanted to quash rumours of Wolfstar being canon. It therefore feels extremely rushed and not thought through and just not engaging?
I don’t think it’s her intention at all, but canon Remadora sounds like Remus doesn’t want to marry Tonks and is almost forced into it and then panics and regrets it. I know in fact it’s meant to be that he DOES like her and just thinks he’s not good enough and then panics the baby will be better off without him, and he DOES come back to her but I personally hate that part. Like if my husband acted like that I’d be so unimpressed no matter what his excuse???? It is not a good sign lads!
Plus, Tonks looses her personality once she marries? Starts off funny and pink haired and possibly not intentionally quite queer coded, and dies brown haired and essentially in one of the only roles JK gives women - martyred mother… I don’t like it.
I like Tonks. I like Remus. I don’t like them together? If she had written them differently I might, and I’m sure there’s some brilliant fanfics that are miles better than canon.
A/N: I thought was gonna be up yesterday and then my dad broke something well he was trying to make the wifi signal stronger, not my fault
Summary: Lily helps you figure out your situation.
Pairing: Young!Remus x reader
Word Count: 1044
Warnings: Swearing, pregnancy, crying and I can’t remember if I edited it
Other Parts: Part 1-Part 2-Part 3
Masterlist
“Fine.” There were tears threatening to appear any moment. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t believe the situation, it was just all too much. “This morning, I realized that I missed my period.”
Realization dawned on the red head’s face as the situation sunk in. I began to choke a little bit on a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. That’s when the tears began.
“I know that this could just be stress or a random off month or something, but it could be…” I trailed off, not really being able to continue because saying the word made it real. Lily nodded quickly and hugged me.
“I know, I know.” She said softly, letting me know that she understood why I needed the healing books and that I couldn’t just sit in bed, not knowing for sure.
“Okay, I’m gonna go get the books, you just go back and sit on the couch or something, I promise, I’ll be there in ten minutes, okay?”
I nodded and started my short walk back to the marauder’s apartment. Once I was there, I did as Lily told me to and sat down on the couch. I knew she didn’t want me to go back to bed, but I was still tired, so I just lied down there instead. James found me half asleep with tears drying on my face, partly because of the cold winds outside, partly because of my emotional state.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked with same soft voice that Lily had used while we were standing in the snow. “Why’d you run off?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it just yet.”
“Okay. Where’d Lily go?” He asked, pushing my messy hair out of my face.
“She’ll be back in a minute. She went to get something for me.”
As if on cue, the door opened and in came Lily with one spell book in her hand. She looked at me and her boyfriend and then gestured for me to follow her to the bedroom. Once we were there, she turned to face me.
“I found a spell.”
“Wow, that was quick.”
“I’m good with books.” She shrugged. Opening the book, she flipped to a page that had been previously marked. “You have to be the one to cast it.”
“Ok.” I grabbed my wand from the bedside table and looked down at the spell that Lily was pointing to. I took a deep breath. I had to be prepared for whatever I was about to find out. I was pretty sure I was gonna be hurt either way, so I wanted to get this suspenseful moment over with. I said the incantation and in less than two seconds, the tip of my wand started to glow blue.
“Lily, what does that mean? What does blue mean?” I looked over at her and pretty much knew the answer right away. She was staring at the tiny blue light in disbelief, her mouth slightly open. I put down my wand and she looked up at my face.
“It means that you’re pregnant.”
“Yeah, I kinda gathered that from your reaction.” I said quietly, sitting down on the bed. I wasn’t even sure what to feel right now. Lily sat next to me and put an arm around my shoulders.
“How do you feel?” She asked.
“Honestly? I have no idea. I’ve wanted to have a family with Remus since the moment we left Hogwarts, but there’s a war going on. How can I bring a child into that, Lil? Then there’s Remus. He wants kids, but he’s terrified that his condition can be passed on genetically. Even if it can’t be, he’s convinced he’ll be a terrible father and he doesn’t want his children to have to live with a monster for a father. It’s awful, the way he thinks of himself and I wish I could change that, but I’ve tried so many times, I’m just not sure what to do anymore. And now he's gone. I find out that I’m pregnant and he’s nowhere to be found.” Tears were rolling down my face and I was sniffing. All I wanted in this moment was for Remus to hold me tell me this was all going to be okay. He had always been good at that.
That’s when we heard a knock on the door. I simply flicked my wand and it swung open to show us the three boys standing there with curious and worried looks on their faces. I gestured for them to come in and once they were all in front of me, I looked down at my hands and told them the news.
“I’m pregnant.” I sniffed. At first they didn’t say anything, just pulled all of us into a group hug that actually more comforting than I thought it would be. Then James muttered, “I’m gonna kill Remus.”
“Shut up, James.” Said Lily.
“No, seriously!” He continued, breaking up the hug, “He can’t just walk out on you like this. I mean we all know that he’s afraid to have kids, but I never expected that he would just leave. Y/N, I promise, we are going find him and kick his arse!”
“James! Calm down!” I said grabbing his arm. “Remus doesn’t know. I found out three minutes ago.”
“Oh.”
“But, you know… if you could find him, that would be good.”
“Right, yeah. We’re gonna keep looking, of course.”
“Thank you.”
~3 months later~
I was closing in on my fourth month of pregnancy. It was in no way obvious that I was pregnant just yet, other than my mood swings that happened frequently. There had still been absolutely no sign of Remus which was not helping the mood swings nor my eating or sleeping habits. The longer he was gone, the more stressful everything in my life seemed to get, which was making me worried that this pregnancy wasn’t going to be healthy for me or the baby, which made me stress out more. I was an absolute mess. I hadn’t left the apartment (hell, I had barely left Remus’ bedroom) until Peter came in to tell me that the Order of the Phoenix wanted to talk to me concerning the baby. This scared me so badly that I just broke down thinking of what they wanted to talk about. I didn’t know it at the time, but nothing I thought in those moments, compared to the reality.
Summary: Wanting nothing more than to find him, you attempt to search for Remus.
Pairing: Young!Remus x reader
Word Count: 989
Warnings: Swearing, sadness
Other Parts: Part 1-Part 3-Part 4
Masterlist
We sat there for god knows how long. The only thing I knew was that the next time I was thinking of anything else was when Lily entered the room.
“James? What are you doing here? Y/N, are you okay?”
James slowly let go of me and explained everything to Lily.
“Well, he can’t just leave.” She said.
“But he did.” I practically whispered.
“But he’ll come back.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
The room fell silent. I felt terrible. I had worried about Remus for so long and yet I did nothing to make sure he stayed. I sat there and hoped I would be enough for him, when I should have been talking to him and sorting out everything that was going through his head. I knew I shouldn’t feel this way, but it seemed like it was my fault. I could’ve prevented it. Now he was gone and at one of the worst possible times. He had been right in his letter. Werewolves were being treated quite poorly at the moment and it was only going to get worse. If the wrong person found him, he could end up in prison. Not Azkaban (at least not yet), but he would be locked up. The ministry had been doing that to limit any possible “threats of danger”, so that they would have less distractions and be able to focus on the death eaters.
“Sitting around here isn’t going to help.” James broke the silence.
“You’re right.” I said, standing up and heading to my room. I changed my clothes into something a little more appropriate for winter, grabbed my wand and headed back out. I walked past James and Lily, straight out the door. I hear Lily open the door behind me and call me back inside, but I didn’t turn around. At least not until James came running out in his boots, not bothering to put his cote back on.
“Y/N, where are you going?” He asked.
“...I don’t know.” I told him, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes again.
“Then come back inside.” He said, looking very tired and defeated. He tried to grab my arm, but I jerked backwards.
“No.”
“Well, you can’t just walk around aimlessly in the snow alone. Another missing person is not what we need right now, okay?” Alright, he had a point.
Reluctantly, I headed back inside. I wrote a letter to Dumbledore, trying my best to explain why Remus believed it better for him to leave. It was hard, but I stayed put. Mostly just waiting for a response or even for Rem to come back, even when I knew it was almost impossible. Lily stayed with me while James went back to his apartment to talk with Sirius and Peter.
It was three hours later that an owl arrived with a letter from the headmaster. It was honestly pretty quick considering just how much he was dealing with right now, but to me it seemed to take forever. The letter said that of course, they would look for him, but it would take time. It also couldn’t be the main priority as they had plenty of other things to be doing. I knew that. Dumbledore had specifically put that he didn’t want me or the boys going out on our own to look for him. Well fuck that, I was gonna find Remus and I didn’t care if people wanted me too or not. After I got the letter, the boys, Lily and I were sitting in our tiny living. It felt a little cramped with the five of us in there, so it wasn’t long before they left and told me to get to bed. It wasn’t very late, but we all needed rest after the stress of today, so I got straight into bed. Usually, I barely noticed when I was alone under my covers. Lily and I only slept over at the Marauder’s apartment occasionally, but tonight it was painfully obvious that Remus was absent from the spot next to me.
The next day, I got up early and set out immediately to look for him. I hadn’t slept well and I knew I wasn’t going to until Remus was back home. I searched everywhere I could think, but my sleep deprived mind couldn’t come up with any place better than Diagon alley and a couple of hidden wizard bars around London. I didn’t care though, I went through every shop in the alley and cast spells as discreetly as possible to help my search. Finally I was too tired to continue and I headed back home. Once I was standing outside the door, I realized I didn’t want to go in. I didn’t want to go back to my bed where I knew I would spend my time staring at the ceiling instead of sleeping, so I walked a couple more blocks and into the boy’s apartment. I was met with Lily pacing back and forth, Sirius sitting on the couch with Peter, while James was following Lily around, trying to get her to stop. They all turned their heads towards the sound of the door opening. I could tell that they had been worried. I had left early, without telling anyone and now that I thought about it, that had been pretty stupid. They all stared at me, waiting for me to say something, so I did.
“I’m sorry.” Was all I said before walking down the hallway and into Remus’ room. I threw my coat on the floor and collapsed in his bed, letting his scent consume me. I was immediately relaxed and as I began to fall asleep, I felt someone plant a kiss on the top of my head. I opened my eyes to Sirius smiling at me.
“It’s gonna be okay, love.” He said.
“I know.” I mumbled and let my eyes droop shut again.
A/N: Guys I actually can’t look at this gif for more than three seconds without having to take at least two minutes to calm down. It literally took forever to finish because of it
Summary: Remus, believing that he is a monster and a danger to you and the marauders, leaves behind a couple of letters with explanations, but nothing else.
Pairing: Young!Remus x reader
Word Count: 1293
Warnings: sadness, the word hell i think
Other Parts: Part 2-Part 3-Part 4
Masterlist
Remus was a flight risk. I knew this. I knew it when I started dating him, but I just considered it to be one of the challenges of being with the person I loved. During our time at school, he broke up with me a total of five times. Or at least he tried. I knew exactly why he kept doing it and I wasn’t about to let him get away because of the way he thought of himself. He would do it after a particularly bad moon or whenever he started thinking too much. The first time he did it, I cried because Remus made my life so much better and I hated that in that moment, I was losing him. It took him all of five minutes to realize it was a mistake. The second time he did it, I cried less than the first time and it took a bit of me talking it out with him. The third time, I just hugged him and we didn’t even bothering verbally confirming that we were still together because we both just knew. The fourth time, I cried, but out of frustration, not sadness. I was confused as to why we had to go through this again. It only caused pain for both of us. The fifth time, I barely flinched. I told him that he was wrong about what he thought was going to happen, that he needed somebody in his life to remind him of this. He cried that time. I almost broke down seeing him like that. That’s why I was so sure that I needed to stay with him, because of how strongly he made me feel these emotions that I hadn’t known existed before him.
Now we had graduated. The boys were sharing an apartment and not too far away, Lily and I were doing the same thing. Although ours was much smaller and me usually ended up staying over with our boyfriends anyway. We spent as much time as possible trying to live our lives and make happy memories as the war approaching promised bad ones.
It was one morning, I woke up and was sitting on our tiny couch, drinking coffee and just relaxing before I had to go anywhere. I didn’t really have plans for the day, but it seemed that whenever I didn’t have plans, an owl would show up and all of a sudden I was leaving the house and getting home at midnight or maybe not at all. As I expected, a knock on the door sounded through the living room, signaling my day would start early as usual.
As I walked over to open the door, I noticed an envelope on the floor. It had come through the mail slot, which was weird because there hadn’t been anything there when I went to bed, meaning this had been a very early and probably important message. I picked it up and turned the lock of the door, opening it to reveal James. He had on a coat and his face was tinted pink from the harsh winter winds.
“Morning James, Lily’s not up yet.” I said, letting him inside and closing the door to keep the cold out. I took a sip of coffee, knowing that even in the early hours of the morning, the marauders had energy.
“That’s not why I’m here.” He tells me as I close the door. He seemed a bit strange. He wasn’t his usual upbeat self, but rather he looked tired, as though he’d already been up for hours.
“Has Remus stopped by here?” He asks, taking his coat off.
“No.” I said, beginning to worry. “Is something wrong.”
James sighs and looks at the letter in my hand. “What’s that?”
“Don’t know. Haven’t opened it yet.”
“It’s from Remus.”
“What?”
“He left one for us too.”
“What do you mean? Why is he leaving us letters?” I asked, beginning to panic a little bit.
James stared at me for a few seconds, clearly debating whether or not he should tell me what his letter said.
“James, what’s going on?” I said sternly.
“...Just read the letter.”
I put my coffee mug down on the table and turned over the envelope to see my name in Remus’ handwriting. I used to love seeing that. I used to be so excited when I got letters from him over the summer, but I wasn’t so sure I wanted to read this one.
Ripping it open, I unfolded the parchment and read the letter out loud;
“Dear Y/N,
I love you. I love you and I’m sorry, because that right there is the reason I can’t stay any longer. Maybe in school it was okay, as the only thing I was afraid of was hurting you, but in my mind I knew that you were strong and smart enough not to let that happen. With the war approaching, I’m becoming more of a target because of my condition. As long as we’re together, you’re being put in the path of danger just as much as I am. I can’t do that to you, so I’ve decided to leave. I knew that if I had said this in person, you would’ve somehow convinced me to stay as you have many times in the past.
Please take care of yourself, don’t come after me. Remember that I love you and maybe one day, if everything ends well, I’ll come back.
Love, Remus”
I didn’t know what to do. I just dropped the letter on the floor and walked over to the couch. Putting my head in my hands, I tried to comprehend what I had just read. Remus couldn’t have left, he just couldn't have. Didn’t he know how dangerous it was to just walk around on his own, even if he had his wand? Especially considering his condition. People who looked down on werewolves and referred to them as “half breeds” were often in association with Voldemort and wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. Where the hell would he go? I look up to see James reading the letter.
“Sirius found one just like this when he woke up this morning. That was around 6 o’clock and we still have no idea where he is.” James explained.
“He ran away.” I said, quickly standing up, but James blocked my path.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know! To find Remus! To owl his mother? To go to Dumbledore, or somebody, anybody!”
“Y/N, we already asked his mother, she hasn’t seen him.”
“Well, than to Dumbledore-”
“We did and Remus is not at headquarters.”
“Than to go out looking for him.” I said, tears finally pouring over and small sobs erupting from my throat.
“Y/N we can’t just go out into the snow-”
“We can if he’s out there!” I put a hand over my mouth trying not to make too much noise as Lily was still asleep.
“Come here.” James pulled me into a hug and we collapsed onto the couch. I cried into his shoulder for a while.
“I was afraid this would happen.” I muttered. “I should’ve talked to him. I should’ve made sure he knew that it was safer if he stayed.”
“Hey, it’s not your fault. In fact I’m pretty sure you’re the only reason he stayed around as long as he did. And you and I both know that he still wouldn’t have stayed even if he thought it was safer for himself.”
James was right. Remus still would have left, thinking it was safer for us if he was gone, but if he thought for one minute that I wasn’t going to search until I found him, he was dead wrong.
