#loveanddiscipline

[louisdeclairvoile]

🌱 Sometimes what fades isn’t lost. It only waits beneath the surface—quiet, breathing, patient.

This is a story about rediscovery. About what happens when love and discipline return, not as habit, but as choice. When two people decide to begin again—not from where they stopped, but from where they have truly seen each other.

🕯 "The Courage to Begin Again" —essay now on Substack

[5boysplusbonusboy]

Birthday Wishes

One of our sons turned 17 years old, today, and I'm thrilled.  Not just because birthdays are happy occasions, but because 16 was HARD. It was the hardest year in a string of hard years that began when Cole turned 14.  And if memory and experience serve, this year may actually mark the beginning of the journey back to a parent/child relationship not so riddled with angst and conflict.  It would be a cop-out to simply say 14-16 year old boys are difficult.  They can be.  But, if I'm going to be honest, parents of 14-16 year old boys can be difficult, too. Sure, teenage boys are tweaking on a mad dose of testosterone, and it seems to fuel their still immature brains with the idea they are much smarter and independent than they are, actually.  But, I know few parents who don't become almost instinctively resistant to their sons' declarations of manhood. Deep in our hearts don't we want our children to always stay small, to sit on our laps and run and jump into our arms whenever they greet us?  Of course, we want our sons to grow into wise and responsible men.  But, now?  Surely they're not ready.  And how do we strike that balance of discipline and love they need to help them with this transition.  I have to tell you, I'm still struggling to find that very unique recipe which provides the discipline that allows a son to feel secure and accountable, and patient and forgiving love that doesn't enable destructive or dangerous habits.  The only thing of which I'm absolutely sure, is once we strike a balance that works with Cole, it will absolutely not work with Trey, or his younger brothers.  Just like Cole's older brothers have their very specific needs.  So, happy birthday, Cole!  I'm happier than you know to see you growing into a man.  It's been a tough couple of years, but I think we're the better for it.  Trey has a birthday in three weeks.  He turns 14.