I wish there were two different flirting languages; “I wanna fuck you” and “I wanna love you”
maybe then i wouldn’t be lying in bed and missing your smile

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I wish there were two different flirting languages; “I wanna fuck you” and “I wanna love you”
maybe then i wouldn’t be lying in bed and missing your smile
— imagine two
You are jogging around the PE field panting. You’re asthmatic, so that doesn’t help either. Your PE teacher told your class to jog five rounds around the field. You notice your breathing is getting worse and you stop running only to fall down on the grass. You close your eyes, wanting to stay like that forever.
Then your crush calls your name. “Are you okay?” he asks worried as he runs up to you.
You slightly tilt up your head and smile. You try to produce a sentence, but your throat is dry and the only thing that comes out is “fine ... asthmatic”. You cough and want to stand up to find some water, but there are spots dancing in front of your eyes from getting up so quickly.
“Hey, you don’t look so fine, let me get you some water.” You smile at him and lay back down again. “Thanks,” you mumble.
He comes back a minute later with a bottle of water and helps you sit up.
“Here, this’ll help.” He hands you the water bottle and you take a big gulp.
“Woah woah woah, be careful there.” He slightly chuckled. “We don’t want you to get a stomach ache now do we.”
You grin and drink the rest of the water, a bit slower this time. “Thank you so much,” you say with a smile on your face. Your cheeks were still red from the running, but the fact that he was so close to you didn’t help.
“Here, let me help you up.” He got a hold of your hands and pulled you to your feet. You weren’t expecting this, stumbled and almost fell down. He quickly held you by your shoulders to prevent you from falling, but this didn’t help and you took him with you to the ground. You both end up falling uncomfortably, half on top of each other.
“Ow,” you say laughing. Your crush has a grin on his face and gets up again as soon as he stopped laughing.
He sticks out both of his hands once again. “This time for real,” he chuckles.
You take his hands and pull yourself up, a smile from cheek to cheek.
“Lets get you to the teacher,” he says as he starts walking. The thing is, he only let go of one of your hands and you were now walking hand in hand. It surprised you that your head wasn’t on fire yet because it sure did feel like it. You look over at your crush, to see that his cheeks are this adorable pink and that he was already half looking at you. You look to your feet quickly, smiling from ear to ear.
Enough
been a while lmao i swear i’ve been trying to keep up, but we’re in the middle of a big move and whoopsies
I’d never considered myself “boy crazy.” I mean, I had, of course, had my fair share of ill-advised and slightly obsessive crushes, but I’d never thought I crossed the line separating crazed and captivated. Two months ago however, I’d began to wonder just how accurate that was.
C/N fell into the seat next to me, pressing his side against mine. It was a thing he did often, a way to calm himself, I knew. Though he liked to pretend it was because he had to compensate for not being able to kiss me.
Maybe it was both.
“Hey,” he smiled at me. A smile I fell for every time he used it.
I kissed his cheek, widening both our grins. “Hi.”
As the lunch table filled up with our friends and conversation lifted to matters not really concerning me, I let myself remember two months earlier.
I had had two major “crushes”--C/N and James--both frighteningly different. For one, C/N had the whole “asshole who cares” thing going for him, while James was just an ass. Plain as that. And then there was my “type”. I’d only ever found myself interested in unbearably attractive guys, and James was possibly the most maddeningly perfect boy I’d ever laid eyes on. Warm honey hair, bright blue eyes, a smile that could end wars. And don’t get me started on his athletic build...
C/N, though? Well, he wasn’t exactly ugly. He had a great smile, bright eyes. Tall and strong, he was just a head above me. But he wasn’t anything special, really. Completely average--in fact, some people might call him under average. At least, compared to James.
I had no idea why I was so attracted to him and why all I ever wanted to do was sit with him. Talk to him. Be with him. The only theory I could muster up was the way he could tease me endlessly, but still cared about the smallest things that might hurt me. .
So, when C/N asked me out one day as we were leaving school, with little hesitation I agreed. And our relationship had only grown from there.
C/N’s hand covered mine under the table, drawing my attention up to his vivid eyes. “You okay?” he whispered to me. He was smiling, leading off of some stupid joke the others were still chuckling at, but his eyes were concerned. I could tell.
I pushed my side closer to him, not bothering to contain my grin. “I’m great, thanks.” He squeezed my hand.
“It’s cause I’m holding your hand, isn’t it?” C/N smirked.
“Eh...” I shrugged and bit my lip. “No. Not at all.”
He raised his eyebrows, feigning shock. “Wow, you don’t hold back do you?”
“Nope.”
With a few chuckles, we both joined the group’s conversation.
The lunch hour passed quickly, carried by light conversation and inside jokes. As I threw out my trash and prepared to walk to my next class with C/N--we were lucky to have three classes together--I felt a light hand on my shoulder. I was surprised to see the person behind me.
“Hey, Y/N.” James tucked his hands into his pockets. He wore his signature smile.
James and I had mutual friends, but he had never really sat with our group regularly enough to be considered a part of it. Pair that with my deathly fear of attractive men and you can easily imagine how awkward the following conversation went.
“Oh, hey.”
My feelings for James had disappeared after just my first date with C/N, but it was still oddly exciting talking to him. He was, after all, the closest our small town had to a local legend.
But truthfully, I hadn’t had a thought about him in weeks.
“How have you been?”
“Good...” I paused. “You?”
“Great. The season’s going amazing.”
I offered him a small smile, nodding. “Great.”
“Yeah.”
Why did he come up to me? It wasn’t like we had some unresolved conflict or any past that might warrant this. So why?
“So I’ll see you soon, yeah?” He offered with a shrug.
“Um, yeah.” I suppressed a chuckle at how awkward the interaction had been as James walked away and as I joined my boyfriend back at our lunch table, I knew I was happy how those two crushes had turned out.
---
Two weeks had passed, and James had formed a pattern of coming up to me just as I was cleaning up my spot at the table. Our conversation, though still shallow as hell, had fallen into a comfortable rhythm and I had come to enjoy the small chat we made by the trash can in the school cafeteria.
C/N hadn’t mentioned anything about it to me, but he had begun waiting for me at a table closer to us. And I caught him glaring at James a few times, but every time I brought it up he’d smile, shake his head, and promise me it was nothing.
So one day, when James had been especially friendly, even bordering flirting--though I quickly shut him down--and went in for a hug after the conversation ended, C/N was right there to grab my arm and lead me away.
“Sorry, man, we gotta go.” C/N said, his forced smile nearing a sneer pointed in the other boy’s direction. He brought us into the hallway outside of the cafeteria, into a solitary corner.
“C/N!” I almost laughed at how ridiculous he was being. “It’s fine, calm down.”
He let go of my arm, not that he had been gripping it tightly, and ran a hand through his hair. “He was making a pass at you, Y/N.”
“I know.” He shot me an annoyed look. “But I wasn’t reciprocating it!”
“Do you think that matters to him?” C/N threw his hands up in the air, almost frantic. “All he cares is that you let him do it.”
“I let him do it?” I scoffed. “C/N, I never ‘let’ him do anything. He was flirting with me, I didn’t flirt back. However he takes that is out of my control, but I didn’t give him anything to say it was okay.”
He stared at me, silent for a moment. “So don’t get mad at me when I tell him it isn’t.”
---
C/N and I didn’t talk much for the rest of the day. We’d decided as we walked to class that it was just a fight and nothing to let come between us. And though we both agreed, we were still a little annoyed with each other.
But as we were walking out of the school in silence and James came running up to me I knew there was more to come of the topic.
“Hey, Y/N,” he smiled at me, “C/N.” The two exchanged curt nods.
“Hi, James.” I offered a small smile.
“So,” James stepped forward. Closer to me than I liked. “do you need a ride home?”
“No. She doesn’t.”
James rocked back on his heels. He shot a glare at C/N. “And why don’t you let her answer for herself?” He bit his lip as he turned back to me. “Y/N?”
I shook my head. “C/N’s going to take me home.”
He smirked. “You don’t have to go with him though, babe. I’m sure I’m much more fun.” More fun? Oh my God how sleazy was this boy?
C/N took a step forward, nearly coming in front of me. But I stopped him before he could. “Actually,” I glared up at James, much shorter than him but hoping my stare was at least somewhat intimidating. “I’m pretty sure you’re not. So if you could leave us both alone from now on, that’d be great.”
James frowned, his lips turning into a snarl. “You weren’t that hot anyways. Too fat.”
I rolled my eyes, grabbed C/N’s hand--his hand that was about to slug James in the face-- and walked us to his car. Once we were both seated and the heat running, C/N turned to me. “I’m sorry.”
I grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have been as nice if I knew why he was talking to me.”
He shook his head. “No, no. It’s not your fault. I should have trusted you could take care of it. I mean that out there was...” He chuckled, shaking his head.
I smiled and squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. I’m sure if there was a girl trying to jump your bones I’d be pretty worried too.”
C/N shook his head. “No, you would have trusted me. I should have trusted you. I just got scared.”
Scared? “Of what?”
He sighed. “It’s not a big thing, okay? We don’t need to talk about it.”
I shifted forward in my seat. I was nearly sitting on the center console of C/N’s car, my face close to his. “I want to, though.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to”--
“C/N!” I laughed, grabbing both his hands in mine. “If you apologize one more time for opening up to me I will kill you. And then I’ll never know what you’re scared of.” I paused. “Plus I’ll probably end up in jail which would be unfortunate.”
He rolled his eyes teasingly. “I hate you.”
With a soft smile I brought his face to turn to mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Look...” he pulled his hands away from mine, running one through his hair. “I know I’m not the most attractive guy”--
I frowned. “C/N”--
“Y/N, if you don’t shut up I’ll have to kill you.” He smiled at me, endearing and oh-so-captivating.
“Fine. But know that I find you intoxicating so shut the hell up.”
C/N chuckled and grabbed one of my hands. His thumb traced patterns in my palm absentmindedly. “There are guys more attractive, funnier, kinder, and just better than me in every way. And James is one of those guys. In fact, there are plenty of those guys at this school which is just annoying.” He chuckled again, but quickly sobered up. His eyes were focused on our hands. He was afraid to meet my gaze. “I... I guess I was afraid that you would see James was interested in you and...” C/N’s eyes flicked up to mine. His face was beet red, and he looked so small in this moment. “realize you could have him instead. Have anyone instead.”
It was at that moment I shook my head, unlocked my car door and walked out.
“Y/N? What are you”--
I marched over to C/N’s door and threw it open. I climbed inside, straddling his waist as I sat. Throwing my arms around his neck, I pulled him close to me.
“You, C/N, are not a placeholder for me. I’m not with you because I’m waiting for someone ‘better’ to come around or because I’m bored. I’m with you because you make me happy.”
“Y/N, seriously. You don’t have to do this.” C/N’s eyes looked red, as if he might cry. I personally was nearing tears.
“I want to.” I sighed. “The truth, C/N? James is attractive. There was a time before we got together I was interested in him. In fact, if he gave me half this much attention three months ago I’d probably be a ‘wooed’ mess lying on the floor.
“But that didn’t happen. He didn’t notice me. And I couldn’t give a crap if he does now. Because two months ago, you asked me out. And may I tell you I’d had a thing for you for a while too, so don’t go thinking this” I swung a finger between us “started because I was bored. We’re together now because you make me laugh and you can make fun of me when I’m being stupid and can tease me while still loving me. We’re together because I love you and if you were to leave me, I’d be a mess. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to. And that’s the end of my ‘you’re great’ rant so shut the hell up and fricking kiss me.”
C/N didn’t hesitate to crush my lips with his. We’d kissed many times, but this was different. We’d never had so much passion, so much tension waiting to be cut.
When we’d decided air might be essential to our survival, we finally broke apart.
“I love you so fucking much,” C/N whispered against my lips.
“You better,” I chuckled against his.
--
Not my best work but I think the ending’s cute so