your feelings are not others responsibility, just like how others feelings are not your responsibility.
you don’t owe other people empathy, sympathy, anger, or any other emotion. and other people don’t owe you any emotions either.
it is not someone’s responsibility to reciprocate love, like, or a crush simply because you love, like or have a crush on them. it is not your responsibility to reciprocate feelings that you don’t have towards someone just because they have feelings for you.
if someone does something that upsets you to themself, meaning it has no effect on you or other people, they are under no obligation to stop doing that thing despite however it makes you feel. they are under no obligation to change to save your feelings, and your feelings are not a valid reason for them to stop doing something that does not harm anyone, however you feeling about the thing are a valid reason to leave the relationship.
it is not fair of you or anyone else to guilt or manipulate people into feeling emotions that they don’t owe you or anyone else.
what you can do is ask for someone to stop or start doing something that will make your life easier or help you with any past experiences their behavior is reminding you of. however, they are under no obligation to change their behavior or actions to meet your needs. and the same goes for anyone asking you to change something about yourself.
other people are under no obligation to change for you, you are under no obligation to change for other people. but you cannot expect someone to change a behavior that reminds you of something bad simply because you want them to. that person will do what they want, and if you are important enough to them they will edit their actions to make it so you are comfortable with them.
it’s also important to distinguish requests made out of need, like if your relationship is to continue with that person they need that behavior to change due to true discomfort and ptsd, and requests made out of insecurity and manipulative intent, like them telling you to no longer speaking to friends or family.
every single relationship is built on trust and compromise. however, sometimes you or the other person need things that the other can’t provide or change, and there is nothing wrong with that. it just means that you aren’t compatible which is not your fault nor theirs.