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CULTURE & CONTACT LEVELS
Cultures vary hugely in what feels “too close”:
High-contact cultures (Latin America, Middle East, Southern Europe): Close proximity, frequent touch, cheek kisses.
Low-contact cultures (Japan, Northern Europe, US): More personal space, minimal touch, bowing or distant greetings.
Example: A hug in Brazil vs. a bow in Japan.
GOING LOW CONTACT: MY #BOUNDARIES WITH MY FAMILY. If you’ve read my last few posts, you know that I have a complicated relationship with my family. Since I want to continue having a relationship with them, I need to have clear boundaries especially around contact. In some cases, it’s appropriate to implement boundaries without talking about them with the other party. In my case, I had a lot of serious discussions with my family about my boundaries. These discussions were inevitably discarded after a few days, but they happened. In general, I am #LowContact with my family. For me, that means I see them only at occasions, I screen their calls via voicemail, and I don’t respond to their messages until I’m ready to. I block or restrict their accounts from seeing my social media. I don’t interact with them alone, because that’s when they try to pressure me the most. I use the #InformationDiet technique, which means I don’t share much about my life with them. I don’t talk about problems I’m having, my plans for the future, or changes I’m making. This means there’s less of my life for them to disbelieve, deny, and judge. The #InformationDiet has made the biggest difference in how bearable my interactions with them are. I am considering some other changes that may help me stay safe during those interactions, but I’m still trying to figure out how to implement them. Every so often they get agitated that I insist on maintaining these boundaries, and in doing so, remind me why I have them. What kind of boundaries do you have with your family? How does upholding your boundaries make you feel? #Asian #AsianDiaspora #AsianMentalHealth #Filipinx #Filipino #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #Sick #SickGirlsClub #Spoonie #POCwME #Disabled #DisabledPOC #InvisibleDisability #DisabilityAdvocate #MedicalAbuse #Ableism #Crip #Trauma #ToxicPeople #ToxicFamily #IntergenerationalTrauma #ComplexPTSD #FamilyTrauma #Queer https://www.instagram.com/p/B8cBuGCArtq/?igshid=1n99nfeqj850t
