#lowkey angsty

[galakianexplosion]

Finished it :3

Flash&Sonic featuring the cube

{Which you can pry from my cold hands, i cant seem to stop adding the cube in every serious artwork of them both}

THE COLOR PALETTE IS FROM TV GIRL'S 'WHO REALLY CARES' ALBUM

Why? I have no idea, inspiration can come from any place. Also the album features one of my favorite songs [Do the act like you never met me]

Closeups

They spin in my brain rent free.

[cyttong]

cage

[somany-fandoms-solittle-time]

“What’s so Special About the Moon?”

Jamil Viper x MC(insert character Mac)

Ch. 1 – (Ch. 2) – Ch. 3 – Ch. 4 – Next – Previous

Holy FUCK seasonal depression has been hitting early this year and it’s been taking foreverrrrr to finish this chapter, type it up, and edit it!!! I’ve more or less got a good idea of where the last two chapters are headed, but all I’ve written are the first and last paragraphs if I’m being completely honest. ON THE OTHER HANDDDDD, my therapist recommended a nonfiction book about writing that I’ve put on hold at the library mom mom works at (le *gasp* Author Lore). But n e way… It was a bit of a challenge trying to write a tad more into Jamil’s perspective without completely saying the quiet part out loud. He’s constantly contradicting himself because of his childhood trauma so I added my own trauma onto my oc as a lil ~Treat~ to myself. I experimented a little bit with the separate aspecs of Jamil, but I’m not entirely sure how well I pulled it off. Feel free to leave a comment or any advice over what you thought or how I can improve! Except anything to do with Mac. Mac is basically just me if I was seeped in more trauma and I had developed my skills more…

NOTE: IF YOU GET TRIGGERED OVER DESCRIPTIONS OR DEPICTIONS OF DISSOCIATION, MILD SELF HARM, DEPRESSIVE SPIRALS OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE SKIP THIS CHAPTER/STORY AND GO CUDDLE UP WITH SOMETHING A LITTLE LIGHTER (no shame y’all. We all have those days where all we can handle is Fluff and/or Smut without all the extra heavy feelings.)

True to word, Mac had practically dragged Adeuce and Jack, along with a ragtag group of other NRC students, apparently “following orders” to finish the cleaning process. Kalim had also insisted that they could still use the laundry room even though Jamil was taking the rest of the day off—which meant all he could do was stew in his room while going over his prior conversations and figure out the best way to ignore how much it affected him.

But just because he was (stubbornly) ignoring running into the Perfect again doesn’t mean he wouldn’t listen in. Jamil knew the dorm’s infrastructure before it was even built! Every keyhole and secret passage way was at his disposal.

On quiet feet, and motivated by a raging headache, the dark-skinned Vice Warden slipped through the halls and walkways of Scarabia. He made sure to have a pair of wireless headphones resting around his neck (to slip on for a believable excuse). They were currently off, so he could keep his ears open to any disturbances, but his right hand hovered nearby just in case.

Mentally, Jamil took note of the heat rising with the desert sun. MC was smart enough (and willing) to start early in the morning. Even with how drowsy xey were, barely dressed and pathetically trying to make the numerous piles of laundry look presentable. They were an idiot. And apparently an observant, suffocatingly kind, filter-less, crass, overbearing Auntie of an idiot as well. So much like Kalim… Uncomfortably close to Kalim’s personality but more matured. Understanding (as much as he hated to admit it).

“So stupid,” Jamil whispered under his breath with a frown. Even still, the long track combined with swirling heat only fueled his practiced, calculating mind. This would be the least opportune moment to evaluate his observations over all the nonsense that Mac had been saying over the course he’d ‘known’ them… He was FAR too worked up in his room to think properly, but now his brain foolishly circled back to early that morning in-time with his silent steps.

. . . . . . .

Before the magicless (legal adult) freshman made their stiff exit, back when Jamil was analyzing each and every twitching muscle in xeir clenched jaw, Jamil was attempting to fire back with a quip. There would be no way for the two to be able to continue working in such tense atmosphere MC had created. He was about to tell them off or make up an excuse, when his more childish monologue betrayed his consciousness.

Everything they said was so unfair. So blisteringly close to the truth, but blunt and lacking the usual grace, empathy or even a teasing lilt. Mac’s usual tired, dragged out fond sarcasm, like an older sibling trying to teach the youngsters without sounding too parental, was long gone. In it’s place was the same forceful, pinprick power int their eyes he’d seen through the cloud of Blot. Somehow, between hallway conversations and Jamil threatening their life, the Ramshackle Perfect had found a crack in his wall and stared him down.

Dishonest. He’d called Jamil out for being dishonest as if it wasn’t just the ingrained second-nature of a resentful servant, born and breed to stalk any threats to the boy that owned his life. His falsehoods had only ever hurt fools and ruffians who vied for Kalim’s life. No one else minded his shifting tongue or blank and burned-out eyes. No one bothered. This was what he was made for.

“Just because you’re not hiding your bitter, knee-jerk reaction from an unfair world doesn’t mean you aren’t still hiding away and lying about your more vulnerable emotions.”

They had no right—no FUCKING RIGHT—to say any of that to him. What could they know about being someone’s shadow? About being stuck shadowing the overbearing rays of the sun? Bound by the pull, the gravity of the two boys birth, Jamil would forever be orbiting just outside of what he can never have. Denied the attention, the affection, the true praise for all the great accomplishes he had to forefeet to a spoiled, airhead brat! Everything he’d been denied since he was just a child…

And yet, there was some part of himself that couldn’t lie about how they were right. How xey might know, at least to some extent, what he had been through. The tiredness, the pitiful, the soulless look deep in his eyes that would fade in and out of reality hinted to just how cruel of a life Mac must’ve had (or at least what they remembered of it) lived. Did he know what it was like to be used? To be looked past? Could their life had led to perpetual people pleasing or hiding xemself for survival or constantly worrying about what would happen if xey ever upset anyone… ever made a mistake?

Could they be so similar? Even with how happy and carefree and Kalim-like they were during the day?

They were infuriating… Oh, Great Merciful Seven, he had never felt so invigorated. It was frightening. It was exciting.It couldn’t go any farther than this moment or else all that he’s worked for would simply disappear.

An eight year old Jamil, shoved deep down in the vipers den, was screaming and flailing his arms to be noticed. To be recognized by such ad honest and trusting and supportive figure like--

Jamil’s mind had already been jumping through extra hoops than his regular mental gymnastics in order to process and combat the Perfect’s comments. It was making him feel far too vulnerable. Like a mothering hen, Mac couldn’t keep out of anyone's business. Even when they were so clearly already run ragged and probably on the verge of snapping.

It was almost ironic, how overly worried and caring and just… persistent they were when it came to the students of NRC. Especially towards the ones that had gone out of their way to hurt xem. How could it be possible that this nosy stranger, that came out of nowhere, could simultaneously be so cautious and caring towards someone they obviously… didn’t deserve their kindness. Jamil had received constant reassurance from the paradoxical force of nature that is the Ramshackle Perfect.

It was so unfair. How Jamil was this dark & twisted, manipulative asshole who’s had to pretend to be the perfect, caring servant. AND MAC! That moron got to be the enamored exasperated force that everyone flocked towards without having any real skill? Xey had even less to their name than Ruggie and yet the charisma and favor that only Kalim could harness. Was that how the two became friends? Some secret power those two perfected at their bullshit “Music Club” in order to blind the rest of us peasants to bend to their will!!! (Of course not Jamil, neither are smart or cruel enough to pull something like that).

Even on days like this, when the Perfect was snappy and apathetic, they were 100x more genuinely thoughtful and kind. What gave him the right to be so bitchy and always know better? MC couldn’t possibly be that much older…

. . . . . . .

Just as Jamil was getting frustrated with trying to rearrange his thoughts, he heard Mac directing the small herd of students.

“Okay, Sebek and Jack! You two can carry the most—”

“What about the Great Grim Hench human! Myah!”

“—and have pretty decent control over that floaty spell—”

“Human! I have already informed you—”

“Can it, you unfriendly Green Giant! Once more, the two linebacker fuckers (seriously how are y’all 16 and NOT on steroids) and Grim, I guess, will grab the thick curtains and the runner rugs. Ruggie could run—heh—run down to Sam’s to grab whatever fancy thread and whatnot to fix the throws. That pile of blankets aaaaaaaaand that miscellaneous crap also needs so mending, right Rugs?”

“Shye shee shee, sure thing Boss! An’ who’s tab will our order be account’d for?”

“Ughh, if Sam won’t let you put it directly on Crowley’s personal account then tell him it’s for the school…. It’s technically not a lie so~”

“Gotcha!” There was already a sound of shuffling and light small talk, but the easy banter and direction between the two made Jamil restless. When had MC and Leona’s hyena lackey become so close? When did they start working together so seamlessly?

“OK… Silver. You up for a quick fetch quest?” Silver’s soft yet serious reply also shocked the Vice Warden. Why were the Diasomnia students even HERE? Jamil had thought Silver was visiting Kalim?!

“Of course. Fa—Lila had instructed Sebek and I to assist you in any way we can. You’re a valuable friend of his after all.”

“Kid, chill. Lils and I gossip and rock out in club together. We don’t have a Blood Oath or something,” Mac huffed out a small, tired laugh, “But thanks for the help anyhow! All I need you to do is run over to Heartslybul and check if Riddle would be willing to check over the china and silverware in Ramshackle. The main dinning room is just left of the Kitchen, down the hall a ways. The door should be unlocked (not that that would stop any of you crazy ass wizards) but if not, just let the Ghosts know you’re helping out. I let them know we’ll be busy for the next coupla months.”

“And how are you planning to get our tea-sized tyrant to do all that?” the red-headed Freshman asshole asked his friend with a snarky tone.

“Ace…!”

“Knock it off Ace!”

“You’re not funny man.”

A cacophony of voices followed in argument before the someone let out a snort, “… It’s a little funny.”

“Guys, just ignore him. Anyway, Silver, on the long table has all the bit and bobs of dish sets I was able to scavenge so far. There’s also a few boxes of stuff crammed in the hallway closet, but I haven’t had time to check if they’re in good shape or not.”

“Trey-Senpai said something about convincing House Warden Riddle to lend you an extra tea set. Who knows how many we’ve got stored away in the dorm, I mean, we’ve used a different set with every Birthday and Unbirthday!” Mac’s Freshman blue guard supplied with earnest.

“Oh la la~ Deuce, could you go with Silver and track Trey and Cay down as well? Cater already promised to help touch up the ballroom in exchange for some behind-the-scene selfies, but if y’all remind them I’ll be taking care of Heartslybul Resident Troublemakers for a while I could talk Trey into updating the kitchen a little!”

“And I guess that means it’s just the two of us~” One half of the Trouble Makers teased.

“Ace… You get to help Rugs! And I think we could use some extra soap and—look at that! It’s practically lunch! Everyone, let’s meet back at Rams in 30 so Ace-kun can treat us to some lunch.”

“What’re you planning to do, Perfect!” He snapped back in retaliation.

“I still need to collect what’s out on the clothes line, fold ‘em and wait for this last load to finish drying. After lunch, a few of us can finish mending what can be salvaged and iron or steam whatever needs it. If this takes longer than an hour, just start putting shit away and I can fix it later.”

“Grrrmph… This’ll take all day!” Grim whined at nearly a decibel only dogs could hear.

“Relax Grim, you already got to nap half the day. Think about it this way… by this time Monday the dorm will be halfway livable!” Mac sarcastically cheered in response.

After a moment of two of grumbling from the first years, and a few goodbyes, Jamil could hear the mages-in-training all leave Scarabia’s laundry room and make their way through the commons. Instead of heading back to start lunch (it is TECHNICALLY his day off), he continued to listen to the shuffling of cloths being handled. Which was quietly drowned out by the sound of Mac humming to xemself.

Really, he should have left by now. Why would he want to risk the chance of being dragged into more cleaning that wasn’t even his priority. (Why did he still feel the need to manage and control other’s work?! It’s just adding more stress to his already full plate by sticking his hand in--)

Starling Jamil out of his thoughts, Mac started to sing lightly under their breath. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the Sophomore remembered Kalim excitedly prattling on about how Xe’d become an “unofficial member” of the Pop Music Club. The quartets sporadic sleepovers (for gossiping, exchanging new music, watching movies, light partying) had recently become a bi-monthly event.

“You are so much more than your father’s son/ You are so much more than what I’ve become/ Long before you were born there was light/ Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes/ A million choices, though little on their own/ Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known.”

Mac knew they were close to dissociating. It was why they made sure to kick everyone out before someone commented on it. Xe’s pretty sure either Ace or Jack were on the verge of probing them when it took them a full ten seconds for xem to laugh at Ruggie’s joke (something about Grim getting his fur all over the white sheets while napping).

After finally having a private space to breath, the pent up guilt and anguish came back to bite them like a vengeful bitch. Hot pressure, like a balloon expanding in his chest, ready to burst even from the tiniest prick, closed their throat back into a steady hum. Hot pressure. Hot machines. Even the humid air made Mac feel like zey were floating and melting at the same time. Xeir hands continued the practiced motions while screeching words resonated deep in their head. Xe kept humming even as a play-by-play echoed back all of his worst apprehensive and aggressive and obnoxious comments. By now the room must’ve been bubbling, threatening to boil over and pop the picturesque serenity; sunlight stabbed through the windows enough to blind the rooms image and even making it impossible for Mac to simply see the cloth in zeir hand.

Gasping for breath, they finished singing: “… When you inherited/ A fight that you were born to lose/ It’s not your fault/ No, it’s not your fault/ I put this heavy heart in you/ I put this heavy heart in you.”

At some point, Mac dropped whatever aged silky item they were mindlessly folding to scratch at xeir arm. It was a practiced movement; a purposeful, forceful movement that left harsh, heavy, thick red lines up and down his rough, patchy forearm… just barely grazing a faded tat in the center of their wrist. Up and down. Up and down. Up and Down. Jamil decided to take his chance now, before their blood could dye the freshly cleaned laundry.

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” He tried to stay cordial and neutral to not startle them too bad, but Xe still practically jumped while turning around. How troublesome. “Why don’t you go meet up with the others? I’ll just take care of what’s left here.”

“Shit! J-Jamil, you sneaky sonuvabitch… One of these days I’mma put a bell on you!” The startled Perfect rambled a little breathlessly. They were still trying to come back into their own body that zey hardly realized what Jamil even said. After a few moments they finally processed the emotionless order that was given. “Dude, I already made you get up early on a Saturday morning. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

Jamil huffed at the verbal side-step. “MC, you’re about ten minutes from heatstroke,” He gave zem an annoyed, unimpressed frown when they tried to retort. “I was about to make some lunch and brew a little iced chai. You might as well have some before you finish up for the day.”

“Not a Chai person,” they replied in a rush.

“Scarabia is fully stocked with all of Kalim’s guest’s favorite drinks. At least drink a glass or two of water before the desert sun dries you up.” The banter Jamil returned sounded stiff, but encouraging; So inviting, even after Mac picked him a part like an entitled, wannabe Psych Major. It didn’t feel right to already be in his company again. Then again, xey were already pretty dizzy—dissociation, a mild panic attack, and dehydration paired with a casual case of overheating was a pretty gross cocktail for their body to handle.

The stress was really starting to affect xem lately. More nightmares, more… memories and fitful sleep led to a lower tolerance to the usual Hell that is NRC. On top of all that, it seems he might further fuck up the already unstable ‘friendship’ the two hardworking students had.

“Seriously, Viper you don’t have to feel like you need to smooth things over or take control to handle everything. What I said was none of my business, and all of this mess,” Mac stumbled towards the unfolded bundle they had been working on before feeling so woozy, “is my mess to deal with. I can grab a snack or something a little later.” They tried to put up a bigger front, but it was clear that their all-persistent (stubborn) resilience was breaking down with each degree raised in the room. It was an act coming to a close… And the only way for them to give in willingly was to force his hand.

“Mac. As the Vice Warden of Scarabia I can’t have you passing out.” Jamil blankly stated.

Fuck. The quiet tension edged with anxiety was not aided by their usual jokes. Both students were stubborn, but the magicless Perfect was tired and, as much as they did want to admit it, about to tip over any second. Better get it over with….

“Just for a minute.” Xey gave in.

(and as always, shoot out to @twst-beam and @krenenbaker for rehabilitating my love for writing and giving me feedback lol! I love reading your comments and tags so KEEP'EM COMING LOL!!!!)

[sunnibits]

Muriel’s upright ending but I don’t give you context

[imaginekpopidols]

[3:45 pm] he’s been leading you on this whole time, you know it, but you desperately don’t want to believe it. after all the nights you two spent together. tonight wasn’t any different, he invited you two day earlier just to chill and watch a movie. of course it's the movie dirty dancing, he loves that movie, and he believes he’ll find love like that. if he would only look at his lap, at you, he would see that love was right in front of him. as you lay there just talking and then he gets cold as he texts someone. “I forgot... you need to leave I have a girl coming over later so,...” you should have seen it coming, after all it is Youngjae. you can’t expect much more out of a feeling-less man. you thought you could change him, but he’s still heartless, no matter how many days go by. you get up from his lap, and tell him if he wants to watch the rest of dirty dancing later you two can. trying not to let him know that out your heart ached... but it didn't... maybe you finally are moving on... surprisingly, your voice didn’t waver as you said that. he smiles at you, those sweet soft smiles that you could get used to seeing for the rest of your life. but it didn’t matter, after all they were meaningless, and it’s time for you to move on. after all, you think, theres been this guy who’s been doing little dates to court you, back on campus. he even brings cupcakes for the two of you to share. maybe you should finally break off the benefits and just settle for being friends with Youngjae. no matter how many nights you’ve spent with him in his bed. it seems like Dowoon is finally making his way in to your heart. and your moving on, your feelings weren’t even hurt by this fact, if you were, wouldn’t your voice have wavered after you told him that you’ll watch the rest of the movie with him after he said he has a hot date tonight?

[boku-no-headcannons]

(please make this canon)

Can I have cocky Bakugou knowing that he’s fucking hot, and everyone hates him because he’s right 

Can I have Midoriya with large glasses with the cutest little wrinkle on his nose when he concentrates so hard that the glasses just slip right off his face and fall onto his book. Can I have him sigh in frustration but this time propping it up with his hand and burying it in his green hair that is also falling on his face ( he needed the glasses because he ruined his eyes from staying up too late reading and texting his friends about homework)

Can I have Iida gathering a workout squad (in UA dorms) that wake up at sunset to run around on the grounds if it’s nice, or in the gym, and he always plans out what they’d be focusing on so that they could all become better (and while Bakugou says it’s a burden to be around them, he still helps out)

Can I have Ochako and Kouda baking cookies in the oven, which brings everyone downstairs, because fuck does that smell like heaven

Can I have passive-aggressive caring Bakugou yelling at everyone to take care of themselves in a very angry but comical way

Can I have Midoriya going door-to-door to wake up anyone who had accidentally slept in after a long night of studying and homework

Can I have Shouji being a handyman of sorts because he’s just so damn good at using all of his arms, and everyone kind of just stares at him in awe when he changes the batteries to the fire alarm

Can I have Tsuyu bringing in plants that her parents and her siblings bought her, and the collection of plants getting so big in the common room that Aizawa just tells her to put up a garden on the roof of UA

Can I have platonic Todoroki and Momo creating an electric piano, so that while everyone is there, they play some classical music. Can I have the other students requesting songs of all types, like classical to pop to jazz, and the rooms are always filled with music and life.

Can I have photographer!Tooru, because while she can’t be seen and has given up on being in the pictures, she wants to take pictures of these moments with her friends and immortalize them on film. Can I have all the 1A students flocking her for a paper copy of the photos so that they can put it in their room, which eventually leads to just the photos being hung on the hallway walls

Can I have artist!Jirou, where she decides that her room needs a change and she paints a beautiful mural of the galaxy, and everyone freaks out when they realize that she used glow in the dark paint and it shines at night

Can I have an insomniac Tokoyami who spends most of his time at night looking at conspiracy theories and unsolved crimes (aye Buzzfeed Unsolved anybody?)

Can I have Bakusquad creating a video journal recording every day in the dorms with their friends, and it’s just a chaotic, good time

Can I have all the girls parading around the halls and the common room, holding a fashion show using both Aoyama and Momo’s closets to take clothes from.

Can I have Aoyama being the first to march around with a boa around his neck and sunglasses on his face as he directs the entire show

Can I have 1A having these huge movie nights and when All Might and Aizawa walk in to check on them inside of the common room and just see piles on piles of blankets and pillows scattered on the floor and on the couches as the class snores on, and so they just smile, shake their head, and vow to scold them in the morning (but spoiler alert: it never happens)

Can I have them watching crappy movies like Sharknado (along with other B-Grade movies) just because they like to laugh at how dumb it is. Can I have them also watching Marvel and DC as they all point out all the quirks that they would totally love to see in action. Can I have them shrieking when they find out that the newest releases stream on their tv too.

Can I have Sero being unexpectedly good at knitting, so Momo buys yarn and has her parents send her a package for Sero to make blankets, sweaters, hats, scarves, book bags and whatnot when 1A orders from him

Can I have Midoriya being a diplomat between 1A and 1B, and Kendou can’t help but smile at how earnest he is about trying to get everyone to cooperate with each other. Can I have Shinsou, who is a pretty influential person when he chooses to speak out, supports him wholeheartedly (although he was pretty skeptical about it at first)

Can I have Monoma frothing at the mouth when Midoriya invites them into 1A’s common room for baked goods (that the entire 1A worked on together to make peace, and even Bakugou was dragged in, grumbling the entire time). Can I have Monoma saying that “of course 1A has everything they want” and Testsutetsu walking up with a cookie stuffed in his mouth saying that their common rooms were the exact same, but the only reason they hadn’t decorated was because of how clumsy Monoma was (he blushes and runs away)

Can I have all the boys wearing glasses, because fuck, they would look super hot. Like damn

Can I have Kirishima and Kaminari pranking Mineta by sneakily taking the grape balls and tell Mineta that he’s going bald. Can I have Mineta moping around in his room saying that he’s never going to get a girl (in which Todoroki mumbles “not like you had huge chances in the first place) and Momo and Ochako eventually coming in and comforting him. (Mineta takes advantage of this and takes in the boob in his face hug)

Can I have Mario Kart tournaments every Thursday after classes and it just turns into a full-out war with everyone doing 1 vs 1 tournament style matches until a true champion can be crowned. Can I have them comically screaming at the screen and creating alliances. Can I have Bakugou being in denial when Midoriya ends up winning the first time they do it, and resolves to beat him the next time around (training at night for a straight week), which ends up paying off (while everyone just panics when the explosions starts)

Can I have sassy Todoroki and Bakugou getting into these dumb little contests as everyone cheers them on, because who said that there was a need to be a bigger person in these situations

Can I have Ojiro and Koda staring at all these crazy things that 1A does and wonder how exactly they got their in the first place (although they’re quite glad)

Can I have rare outings where the teacher accompany the class to a voted destination, whether it be the movie theater, or the mall, or the amusement park and even a beach, and while it’s super rare, even the teacher want to break out of the cage called UA

Can I have the Bakugou/Midoriya grudge grow into something more than the extreme rivalry. Can I have them become less of a dangerous chemical match that should never be together, but instead become a catalyst for something so much greater 

Can I have new friendships and tighter bonds as they grow into the role that they fit into within society and school

Can I have 1A just being so supportive of each other, and maturing into people that will and deserve to be the next generation of heroes

Can I have these students be the teenagers that they are and take a break from all the things that have been falling apart in their world. 

Can I have them happy, and carefree, and be able to smile, without worrying about their friends being kidnapped, or villains attacking their loved ones and innocent people, and to be able to have those moments that make them feel normal (and not in the ‘boring’ way). Sometimes even the extraordinary becomes restricting. 

Can I have them be able to taste the sweetness of ice cream before they need to spit out the taste of metallic blood from their mouth. 

Can I have the perfect, but short moments, where the pressure of being a hero can be ignored, just enough so that they can appreciate the time before they are thrust into a world full of terrible monsters and scarier situations where there are dead bodies on the streets and destruction is rampant. 

Can I have these beautiful, wonderful students not need to wake up with crippling nightmares and debilitating fears that may scar and follow them right from the get-go in their first year. 

Can I watch these students grow up and still have faith in the world and what it has to offer, even as they fight on the front lines and their own brain may chant that it is hopeless to wish for peace in this world.

But then again- you don’t always get what you want.