“MISTER HERO, YOU ARE A RABBIT???” Ravio’s shout was so loud that Link was sure all of Hyrule had heard him.
“No, Rav, I’m not. It’s just a form like any other.”
“Mister Hero, I don’t think you understand the implications of what you just told me,” the merchant said in a strangely calm voice. “You have the ability to transform into the most beautiful creature that can exist in this world… and I request you to show me.” Even without looking, Link could feel Ravio’s green eyes staring at him.
“First of all, I don’t have to show you anything if I don’t want to. Second, it’s not like I can. Unless you can bring enough darkness to my soul to make me transform, you’ll have to settle for my Hylian form.” Ravio continued to stare at him, but at least he stopped talking. Link put away the blade he had been preparing and decided to clean the old mirror that started this all mess of a conversation.
“When you come back from your missions, you smell really bad,” Ravio blurted out.
Link stopped rubbing the mirror to turn around and face the other man. Ravio looked at him, and after a short silence, continued his rambling: “I don’t like that you don’t let me sell items that you don’t use anyway, and your bees are ugly and disgusting and scary. We could just buy honey instead of having them at home all the time. You have really weird tastes in decoration, you look bad in the morning, your breath smells like old underwear when you drink coffee. Also, if I had to choose between you and Sherrow, I would choose Sherrow instead of you and—”
“What is happening right now?” Link asked, looking at Ravio with a confused gaze.
“Well… I was trying to bring darkness to your soul, but it’s not working. Maybe I should continue a little more?” Ravio replied, staring at Link’s ears as if he expected them to transform at any moment.
“NO! No, no thank you.” Link took a moment to collect himself. “You… why would you think that? You know what? I don’t want to know how you came to that conclusion. I was talking about dark magic, not making me feel bad about myself, Rav.”
Two giant emerald eyes looked at him before Ravio jumped on him and pulled him into an embrace. “Oh sweet Lolia, I am so, so, so sorry, Mister Hero! That was very petty of me. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I promise! Will you ever forgive me? If you want, I can sell you the ice rod you want for the small price of 600 rupees to show you how sorry I am.”
Link let Ravio calm himself in his arms, pondering his words. “Why did you say that to me? You know me better than anyone. If you thought making me feel bad was the solution, why talk about my tastes in decoration and not my adventures or something like that?”
“That would have been mean, Mister Hero, it’s not polite to talk about something that someone cannot change.” Ravio said, looking at him as if he were the weird one.
Link just laughed before burying his face in the Lorulian’s hair. He smelled like apples today, which meant he had stolen Link’s shampoo again. Link would take care of that later; for now, he was planning on enjoying a well-deserved nap in his lover arms. Maybe he could ask the rancher to give him his stange crystal for an hour at two so he could show Rav his rabbit form. He wouldn’t be against somme rub on the back of his ears.
English is not my first language if i made any mistake tell me i really want to improve
Ravio is my favorite character of all the TLOZ game so putting him here was really great
Also did you know that in French his name is Lavio ? And it makes a lot more sense dans Ravio but honestly Lavio just feels wrong
Anyway have a great day !
