#lubica

[cortezvernon]

#Repost @panachejamag ・・・ ♥️♥️♥️ @lubicafashion - Lubica feature in the July issue of @lenna.magazine.sk 🙏🏼Ďakujem 🙏🏼 photo: @cortezvernon | Hair & make-up: @rockgorgeoushair | models: @kayla_morse @kenzie_morse | location: @visitcaymanislands | #lubica #lubicafashion #lubicaswim - #regrann #teamvernon #magazine #editorial #editorialphotography #caymanislands #jamaican #fashion #fashionstylist (at Grand Cayman)

[farewellado]

A little Fashion Friday moment -my favorite “lookbook” video of all time. BEYOND - A Fashion Film

Flashback Friday, Fashion Feature Friday, Feature Fashion Friday, Fashion Friday, I don’t know, is a title even necessary, I love fashion and style and I like Friday and I’m trying to figure out in what ways I’m going to get/be consistent on this blog outside of spilling my guts on Sundays. So far its music on Monday’s, Why Some Girls Podcast on Wednesday and Fashion on Friday’s and this has not been consistent but I’m trying. Realizing that I might not be as organized as I always thought myself to be. Anyway, reading, fashion, music, movies, and magazines are kind of my thing, maybe I should alternate music and magazines on Monday’s? 

Jakina | Friday May 19, 2017

[cortezvernon]

Very #latepost #Repost @lubica.official ・・・ ...behind the scenes... photoshoot with @cortezvernon | hair and make-up: @rockgorgeoushair | model: @kayla_morse #lubica #teamvernon #tropical #paradise #cayman #islands #editorial #shoot #photography #editorialphotography (at South Sound, Grand Cayman)

[hollowpumpkinking]

I realized something tonight. I'm way to busy focusing on my own problems. I'm too focused on my own struggles. It hurts, yeah, a lot really. But today was an eye opener too. Everyone else around me is hurting, secrets, lies, relationships. I'm caught in a triangle, that I'm really not apart of. I'm off to the side, I'm in the center, I'm just watching and throwing out my own problems. That's....not who I was. That's not who I am. My problems are never important, My problems can be solved last. I can't focus on myself anymore. I really can't, it doesn't work for me. I feel selfish, I feel like I'm taking more from my friends then I should. I'm not supposed to be on the receiving end of this.

I'm sorry mom, for making you worry. Everything can wait. I know you said I'm trying to find a balance between sanity and happniess. You said it yourself "It's like trying to fit a square into a round hole with this deal" but you know It can wait. I can step back from my fantasy worlds. I can't drown myself in my own problems. I have to start helping out more. Getting a job is my main goal right now. School is easy enough with how I set myself up. I can easily balance the two. I'll get it as fast as I can. Promise

I'm sorry Wes, I kept going on and on about my own problems. I know you have yours. I know you don't really want to talk about them, I can respect that. You don't owe it to me to open up. Nothing is written down that says you will tell me everything. But I haven't been a good friend towards you. You made it clear you are in a bad place too, You don't need my load on you as well. I'll be better, I'll be a place of escape, where no problems have to be present. I promise alright ^,^ From now on my main goal with you is to be there, as a happy face. It's just our convos has felt empty, like we can only talk if its about our mental states. I've done enough talking, and asking for help. It's not your job to fix me, It's not your job to have answers, It's not your job to keep me stable. And It never will be. That's my problems to deal with, my demons to face. But for you, that is my job. I'm the guardian, I'm peacekeeper. I thought I gave up that role, but that's just simply who I am. From this point on, allow me to make things up and be that friend you need.

I'm sorry Mc Kensi. I certainly haven't been the greatest friend to you. I never meant too, but I tried using you to build myself up. I hurt you doing that. It's a mistake I'm not proud of. I'm glad you did tell me about it all those days ago. I'm gonna be the best friend you ever had. No more comparing our writing together. More random texting, and great convos about absolutely nothing

Lubica, I don't think I've messsed up our friendship yet. So I'm gonna work to keep it that way. I'm glad you find me trustworthy enough to ask for advice, that you think I actually know what I'm talking about. Just don't let it get to my head yeah ^,^. You got a lot going on, and I'm gonna keep trying my best to be there for you and help everything stay together. You're not alone.

Jenna, were both building off each other. It's not good for either of us. Because we aren't resolving each others problems. We aren't helping the other get through it. We're just adding fire. So no more from me. We're switching pure focus to you. I'm gonna make sure you get to where you need to be mentally, I'm gonna make sure you feel important, and cared for, and like everything's going to be okay. No more going round in round in a tangle of emotions.

I've been wrapped up in my own emotions. Something I never should of done. Once I start going, I really can't stop. My emotions are strong, powerful. That's why I'm not quick to anger, once I start, I don't backdown. People have seen that side and backed up from little me. Likewise, dealing with this huge problem, of my sexuality and Religion. Of trying to get over myself doubt issues and incescurites in my friendships with everyone because I let myself get hurt by someone in the past; it's not going to get me anywhere. I'm not gonna find answers soon. I may never get over some of these problems. Because that's who I am. I worry about things. I blind myself to the truth to the point where the most obvious truth can seem like a lie. It's not gonna work for me to put any of this as my focus. For now the best option is to push it all aside. I doesn't matter how much it hurts. How much self hate I can go through in a few moments. How much I can get to the point where I feel like It's better if I left you all so you didn't have to support me. So no more. I was being selfish, I'm sorry for it really. I know you all say you want to help, and you want me to talk. But the more I do the more I run in circles, the more it just stays the same, constant. I'm not making progress. I'm just dragging you all down. So Even if this pulls me down more. I'm not going to drag you with me anymore. I know you made me promise wes, I know you made me promise to never put on my mask again. But it's the best option I can do now. Home is slowly looking like I'll lose it. Me and mom aren't in the best spot. I can't waste time worrying about myself. I pushed you away without meaning too. I hurt Mckensi trying to build myself up. I haven't helped Jenna in anyway. My usefulness as a friend only comes when I stop treating myself as equal. I'm not equal. I'm always gonna be second to all of you. It's where I should be. Supporting all of you. My mask lets you all grow, build, grow closer as friends with each other, and lets you stop worrying about me. I'm just gonna keep being a burden if I keep dealing with my own stuff. So I'll push it aside, I can deal with it all later. No matter how long it has to wait. I can fake being stable easy enough. and it's not like you have to worry about me doing anything stupid. I'd never hurt myself, or try to end my life. I'd be too scared/sick to my stomach to make any move like that. I know it would leave you all in a terrible place if I did. And the thought of drawing my own blood makes me wanna puke. It won't change. and I won't fight those feelings either. It's just, I keep praying, keep asking God for help. My battle isn't getting easier. It's getting harder. So who cares if I lose. This problem anyway, it's something that can be ignored anyway. I don't need a significant other, I don't need to know my own stuff. It can be pushed aside for now, hell it never has to be addressed. But God made me to be helpful for others, supportive of others. It's not like me to ask for help for myself. My focus always was and should be on you guys. If my stuff gets solved along the way, great. But no more asking for help, no more seeking answers, no more making you guys share that burden. From now on it's all about you guys and how I can help. Promise

[made-up-makeup]

Beauty play with @lubicafashion and @will_i_amr photography : #makeup #makeupartist #bennye #abh #inglot #stila #toofaced #sachecosmetics #urbandecay #mac #mua #lubica #kingston #jamaica #beauty #ljm #lonijonesmakeup

[77threemag]

BEYOND - A Fashion Film

[dontmakeupmakemagic]

Lubica Final Walk

[styleforchangeja-blog]