#luci headcanons

[marblemoovt]

Ok, but hear me out. Sugar Daddy Demons.

I’ve only ever seen the original pilot, not the series, but the hazbin brain rot is real. I saw a post ages ago about having a sugar demon (picture above) and it makes me wonder what the scenario would be like with Lucifer or Alastor.

Might write a proper oneshot/series for it, but for now have some Luci headcanons for the first meeting. With a few tweaks it could work for Alastor.

Sugar Demon! Lucifer Headcanons

It had started off as an accident, summoning the king of hell

A dusty leather bound tome found in the attic of a house you bought for way too cheap

The cover was littered with intricate symbols and a beautifully carved goat head

Despite your best attempts, the book wouldn’t open, like someone had glued the damn thing shut

So you decided to bring it down to use as decoration, maybe spook your houseguests with the rumours that a cult used to live here

After some elbow grease, you managed to remove all the dust and grime from the leather

You flop down onto your bed and admire the clean lines on the cover. Until the cover starts getting bigger and bigger

*Thwap*

The heavy tome falls flat on your face, your forehead and nose bearing the brunt of the force.

You sit up, book sliding onto your lap as pain floods your face.

Red droplets splash onto the cover, and you wipe your nose with one hand and the other smears the blood on the book in an attempt to clean it.

You start to think the book caused some brain damage when the lines fill with a deep red, contrasting against the black leather

You jump up, the book tumbling onto the floor and clatters as it opens to a random page.

Guess all it needed was a good smack

Out of curiosity, you read aloud the open page. The foreign words twist your tongue into knots.

The tome shakes and blinds you with a bright light. Where’s the dark mode on this thing??

You toss the book away from you in a panic, and suddenly there’s a very confused… man? He’s sitting in the middle of your floor surrounded by an alarming amount of rubber duckies.

He certainly didn’t look human, but you recognized a few biblical motifs in his outfit. Honestly, he was kinda cute. Blonde hair, rosy cheeks, and a quirky little ringleader getup. What’s not to like?

Guess a cult really did live here before (What did they worship though? Some duck deity?). If you had to guess, you just successfully completed your first summoning ritual. Would you exchange your soul for immense power? Bottomless wealth? To have your back blown out by a demon—specifically him?

You dismiss the last idea.

“Nice ducks,” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth, and you immediately want to kick yourself. So smooth. Look at you, master of first impressions. If you’re lucky, you won’t be obliterated on the spot and have your soul dragged to the underworld.

Red irises sweep the room until they land on you, narrowing to study you in detail. His mouth slowly stretches into a wide grin, revealing rows of razor sharp teeth.

You swallow the nerves bundling in your throat and return a wobbly smile.

What the fuck did you just get yourself into?

[hydrangeas-in-the-sun]

I was thinking about all the shenanigans that the post-ending Jin household will go about, and the one scenario that has me absolutely laughing is when Xiaoyu is older and starts to get suitors.

That poor unfortunate soul will be sitting there, shaking on their boots, facing three scary uncles highly trained in martial arts, two of them rumored to be assassins. Then they'll have to face her brother, who might seem nice but is looking at them like they're a specially annoying insect (and is he pouting?). And to make matters worse, there's the brother's wife (yes, Xiaoyu said he's her brother's wife) who is probably the most beautiful person they've ever seen (besides Xiaoyu of course!) but looks like he's gonna straight up kill them.

Good luck suitor!

[hydrangeas-in-the-sun]

Wait.

It's just me or did we just watched an abridged version of the 'Swan Lake' ballet? Because this 'agape vs eros' thing is so similar to the Odette/Odile parallels in swan lake. Dancers/Ballet fans and everyone that actually know about this better than me... any thoughts? Or have I been delusional for a week?

[ruthlesslistener]

I literally love 2p!Italy so much that I’ve scientifically analyzed how exposure to harsh conditions whilst training under Rome could have activated suppressed genes that code for violence and survival tactics while forcefully repressing the genes that code for social and familial bonds, reducing his ability to comprehend and respond to positive feedback from other nations. Save me. I’m in too deep.