𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐫
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐩 𝐱 𝐅!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟/𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤-𝐢𝐬𝐡/ 𝐒𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲
𝐓𝐖 : 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 ; 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ; 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 ;
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 𝟖.𝟗𝐤
𝐀/𝐍 : 𝐁𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟. 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍, 𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍, 𝐓𝐗𝐓, 𝐁𝐓𝐒, 𝐂𝐈𝐗, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐒 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝.
The feedback from your mic rang out from the speakers that were set up beside you alongside the multitude of other instruments that you had brought along. “A one man band, they’d love it! You’d get such a big crowd!” Your friend had suggested after the two of you had gone into a music shop, just another one of your daily ventures to try to find a job. You had been turned down, but you decided to try to enjoy the time you were there to try to forget about the fact that you had just been rejected for what felt like the millionth time.
You went through all of the sections, messing around with every instrument that was set out, but your favorite by far was the guitar with violin coming in close second. Guitar had been your hobby for the longest time, something that you picked up just to do for fun, but nobody really knew that you played. You never thought that you were good enough to play in front of a crowd, and you never thought about playing it in front of your friends, the thought of it just seemed silly. What you hadn’t expected was your friend's reaction to seeing you play though, she was acting like you were some kind of legend on the guitar when all you were really doing was plucking out some tabs and strumming a couple chords on an acoustic. That’s when her plan had been hatched, and she must have been thinking a lot about it because by the time you saw her next she had everything mapped out, an entire game plan on how you were going to make some extra money.
Now, here you were, standing on the corner of one of the busiest streets on a Friday night, the street lights and the neon lights from the buildings casting a spotlight down on you, making you the focus of every passerby’s attention. One thing that your friend hadn’t taken into consideration was just how much you hated being the center of attention, especially when it came down to something like this. You never thought that being booed off a street corner would be one of your biggest fears, yet here you were, sweating bullets as the crowd around you grew larger.
“You could get picked up by a producer, you could be the next big solo artist. You won’t know unless you try it out though!” Your friend was more excited about this than you were, mainly because she wasn’t the one out here doing this. By the time you had finally prepared and got ready to start playing she had already disappeared in the crowd, her face hidden by the sea of others that had come to watch you play. She was crazy, no doubt, the last thing that you had ever thought about becoming was a solo artist and right above that was being a busker on the street. There were a lot of things that you never thought you’d be doing, but life had a funny way of putting you in the position to do them.
Once you had started playing though, it was like you had gone into a world of your own, your lips barely brushing the mic as you belted out the song. Singing was something that you had always reserved for when you were alone in the shower, but it seemed like everyone was loving it, or at least they weren’t booing you off yet. It wasn’t your own song that you were singing, it was one of the songs that you loved though by a band that deserved far more recognition than they got. You knew the lyrics to all of their songs by heart, you had learned them on guitar and violin, something that you sadly couldn’t show the crowd right now because you couldn’t play both instruments and sing at once.
You had come up with an entire setlist to play through on the spot, only giving yourself enough time to get a sip of water in between songs before jumping right into another one. You had all but forgotten about the crowd that had grown larger at some point in the midst of your performance. It didn’t actually feel like you were performing though, you were having fun, you were doing what you loved to do which made it easier to ignore the multitudes of eyes that were hyper focused on you.
All of the nervousness and awkwardness that you had felt at the start had all but disappeared, and it only came back when you had strummed the last chord of the very last song that you were playing, the crowd erupting into applause for you. You didn’t know what to do or how to react, so you simply bowed your head to them, whispering a soft thank you into the mic before turning your back to them to start packing up your guitar. You never thought that anything would come of the performance, you had never dreamt that your life would change so drastically.
“Y/N!! You’re all over Youtube and TikTok!” Your friend called from the living room, but before you had the chance to leave your bedroom to see what she was talking about, her footsteps had sounded out in the hallway to signal that she was coming to you instead. “You’re famous!” She shouted out from right outside your door, her fist banging against the wood impatiently. She had the tendency to go overboard and be slightly over dramatic about things, and you thought the same about her sudden declaration of your apparent fame, but when you opened your bedroom door you were met with her phone right in your line of sight.
Over a million views on a video that had been recorded from what seemed to be the front of the crowd that had been gathered around you. You knew that people sometimes recorded buskers and uploaded them online, and you knew that sometimes those performers made it big, but you never thought that you would be one of those people. “Are there any comments?” You whispered, your heart beating rapidly as you stared at her screen. She scoffed in disbelief at your question, scrolling down to the comment section that had about a thousand comments.
You immediately grabbed her phone out of her hand, something that she didn’t even fight against, walking straight to the couch as she followed behind you. “They’re all really positive, they want to see you perform again.” She said, reading over your shoulder, but it seemed like she had already read through the comments herself based on what she was saying. “They want to know who you are, you don’t even have a name for yourself. Maybe you should make a Youtube channel for yourself, I heard that people can get famous like that too.”
Shaking your head, you handed her phone back to her, the thrumming in your ears from your heartbeat and the nervous flipping of your stomach was all the answer that you needed for yourself to know that doing something like that would be a bad idea for you. “I don’t want to actually be famous… I can’t handle that kind of attention. I’m fine with being a secret performer, and I don’t even know if I’ll be able to perform again. It was a one time thing, and I made a lot of money doing it… I’m fine.”
Your friend rolled her eyes, turning off her phone and slipping it into her pocket before turning her body completely in your direction. The way that she looked at you made it obvious that she was judging you for your decision, but it didn’t really matter, it was your choice to make, not hers. “I watched you perform, I was there. I saw it in this video and the multitude of others that’ve been uploaded here and everywhere else. You love it, I can see that you love it.” You pursed your lips, letting out a loud sigh as you continued to shake your head. It wasn’t that she was wrong though, you really did love playing out there, but you weren’t even sure if you’d be able to do it again, it might have just been a one time thing, and you didn’t want to be the equivalent of a one hit wonder on the streets. That kind of reputation would be humiliating to you, and you just wouldn’t be able to handle it. “Y/N… You become a whole different person when you’re out there. I don’t think it’s that you change though… I think the inner you shines through. The Y/N that I saw performing the other night is the real Y/N, and she loves performing, and I don’t think it’s fair to keep her locked away just because this Y/N doesn’t think she can do it.”
You narrowed your eyes at her, your face contorted into one of confusion as you tried to make sense of her ramblings. “You said my name so many times it sounds weird when I even think about it.” You mumbled, closing your eyes and bringing your fingers to your temples to rub them as if willing your brain to understand her. “I don’t know why this is such a big deal to you though. The chances of a street performer actually making it big is very slim, you know that, right?”
She nodded quickly, her arms crossing over her chest as a small smile formed on her lips, her eyes glued to you. “There’s a chance though, and that means that you have a chance. I don’t want my best friend to be stuck working in some boring 9 to 5 job or working behind a cash register or in a stockroom for the rest of her life like the rest of us.” Her smile fell slightly, but just enough for you to notice as she slumped down into the couch. “You have talent, you have a chance, and it would be really sad if you didn’t take that chance, Y/N. You don’t need to do it for me… But do it for yourself, everybody already loves you, the only way you can go is up. Plus…” Her smile wavered, but it quickly turned to a mischievous grin as your eyes locked. “This could be your chance to finally meet your favorite band. I’m sure they’ve watched your video.”
Your breath hitched in your throat as you thought about it, your stomach now doing acrobatics as you imagined Sangyeop sitting down and watching the video of you performing. “Fine!” You shouted, groaning loudly as your face fell into your hands. “You know, I thought we were in the same class when we were taught about peer pressure.” You mumbled into your palms, your eyes shut tight as you tried to control your breathing. “I never thought you’d be the one peer pressuring me.”
She giggled lightly, patting your knee a couple times before pulling her phone out of her pocket. “Great! I’ll put out posts everywhere to let everyone know that you’ll be performing again on the same street. Everyone is going to be so excited. I’m happy for you already, I know you’re going to make it.” You could only hope that she was right at this point, because even though she had said that the only way you could go was up, you knew that if she was wrong, you’d be deeper than rock bottom at the end of it.
The date had been set up and the amount of people that were commenting about seeing you play was astonishing to you. You never would have thought that you’d become this popular, especially not as a street busker, but for some reason everyone loved you. Your friend was beside you the whole time, cheering you on from the front lines and keeping you calm just in case you started to panic a little. “There’s nothing for you to worry about, just do what you did the first time. I’ve heard you practicing and somehow you sound even better. They’re going to love it, they already love you.” Her words that were meant to ease your mind only made it feel like more weight was added onto your shoulders.
When the day of the performance rolled around, that’s when the panic really set in. Your chest felt like it was tightening and your hands were shaking as you carried out the speakers and slid them into the back of her car. Your guitar had its own spot in the second row and so did your mic and it’s stand. Your friend was already treating you as if you were famous, handing you a pair of tinted sunglasses and a baseball cap as if you’d be noticed right outside your house. You weren’t sure if she was doing it seriously or if she was just trying to be funny, but the ridiculousness of it was enough to keep your mind busy long enough to calm down just a little.
The car ride didn’t take long and once you had gotten to your destination that overwhelming feeling of anxiety took over once more. The amount of people that were crowded around this street corner could only be compared to a sold out show. People were shoulder to shoulder, traffic couldn’t even move through the street because there were so many people, not that it seemed to be a problem though because the road had been blocked off at some point in preparation for your performance. You didn’t feel like just some busker, you didn’t feel like a street performer, and you weren’t even sure what you had done to pick up such a following which had you believing that this entire thing had just been some very detailed, perfectly thought out dream that your subconscious was playing through in its entirety.
Your hands were shaking as you grabbed the handle to open the car door, your stomach already flipping, that all too familiar nauseous feeling making itself known, but your friend was already climbing out of the car and grabbing the speakers out of the back. That in itself had the group erupting into a chorus of cheers and applause, they wanted to see you perform, they were waiting for you. “Do you hear that?” She called out, her voice barely audible through the noise of the crowd. Of course you heard it, but you knew that it was a rhetorical question, one that was meant to build your excitement instead of terrify you.
It didn’t feel like you had much of a choice, you didn’t want to leave everyone waiting, so you reluctantly stepped out of the car, your small, hesitant movement had the crowd roaring. The welcome that you received was much like one that a famous idol would get when walking through an airport, it was one that you felt you weren’t worthy of receiving. You kept your head down as you grabbed your guitar and the mic stand from the backseat of the car, slinging the guitar case over your shoulder and heading over to the corner that had at some point been made your own. “This is a much bigger crowd than the first time…” You whispered to your friend as you hooked everything up behind you, but your worry seemed to fly over her head, your obvious statement only had her smiling wider as she looked out at all the people, clearly seeing and feeling something much different from what you were right now.
“You’ll do great, just play and sing like no one is watching, like you played the first time. You’re going to do great, I know it.” She murmured back to you, and you really wished that it was that easy. It was easy for her to say it back she wasn’t the one performing in front of so many people, she got to join them in the crowds to watch you. Once everything was done being set up, it would only be you there, it was only you performing and potentially making a fool of yourself. You weren’t cut out for fame, you weren’t searching for the limelight, but somehow it had found you, and you weren’t sure if you’d be able to handle it.
What seemed like a million flashlights were pointed in your direction as you finished up your setlist, another full setlist of Lucy songs, but this time around you had had time to practice, to perfect every note that you played on the guitar, to make sure you sang in perfect pitch. In the performance department, you had been more than ready, and that’s what everyone had been watching. No one seemed to notice that you had begun sweating bullets by the second song, and no one seemed to notice that your entire body was as tense as a statue as you stood in front of them. People said that things like this would get easier the more you did them, but it seemed like the first time you had performed was the easiest. The first time you had been unaware of just how many people had come over to watch you play. This time you had seen them, the multitudes of people who were waiting for you, and that visual had made it harder. How could anyone expect you to be some sort of idol when you couldn’t even handle seeing the fans that you apparently now had?
“It’s rare to see a label use busking to promote their new artist, especially when the busking is being done by the new artist and they’re not even singing their own songs.” It wasn’t your friend's voice that had come from behind you as you were packing away your guitar, it was a males voice, and it had you quickly jumping to your feet and whipping around to face the man who was now standing face to face with you. Your quick movement had startled him though, making him jump back in shock from your sudden reaction. One thing that you absolutely weren’t ever going to be ready for was the possibility of male fans that could follow you home or find out where you live or try to talk to you when you were doing the most basic human things. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that.” He said quickly, bowing his head to you.
The strangest thing was that you felt like you knew his face, even if it was shadowed by his wide brimmed baseball cap and the other half of it was covered by a face mask. It was the eyes, they stuck out to you, but you couldn’t be one hundred percent sure that you were seeing who you thought you were seeing. “I don’t have a label… I’m not an artist.” You murmured, already beginning to take apart the mic stand so you could pack it away and slide it back into your friend's car… Your friend who you couldn’t seem to find right now. “I’m just singing the songs that I love, and I feel like the songs that I’m singing deserve more recognition for how amazing they are.” You added, and it looked like the man's face lit up, at least that’s the way it looked in his eyes which were barely visible in the poor lighting of the street.
“Well it seems like they’re getting the recognition that you feel they deserve… Their songs are good though.” He said, but it almost sounded like he was laughing, trying his best to hide the fact that he was, but it was audible in the tone of his voice and visible in the way that his chest shook slightly. “So… Do you have a favorite member? Do you have a bias?” You eyed him quizzically, mainly confused by the fact that whoever this person was wanted to have a conversation with you about your biases right now. “I like Yechan, his solos are so good.” He said, and for some reason it sounded almost fake the way he said, which was just another thing you couldn’t understand. You weren’t sure why someone would lie about their bias, but it didn’t really bother you, all you wanted to do was get home and go to sleep so you could wake up and most likely be bombarded by your friend about a new video being posted.
You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, turning to face the man once more with a sheepish smile. “Uhm… I mean, I love Yechan and I learned some of his parts on my own violin but… Sangyeop is my favorite. I love the way he sings and… well, I’m not going to go into detail… But yeah, Sangyeop is my bias.” It was nice to be able to talk to someone about who your bias in the band was, you rarely found other people who enjoyed them the way you did, and whenever you tried to talk to your friend about them she only seemed to go along to make you happy. “Well…” You said sheepishly, looking around you and seeing that the crowd had already begun to thin out. “I should get going. It was nice talking to you… Whoever you are.”
He snorted softly, shaking his head as he started to fumble in his pockets. Your fight or flight reaction kicked in and you were leaning toward the flight part, a sense of panic and dread filling you as you watched his hand slowly pull out of his jeans. You almost laughed at yourself when you saw the little rectangular piece of paper and a pen, something that you didn’t think anyone really carried around nowadays, but it was almost comical that you had almost ran away from him because of that. “Here, this is my number… If you want to actually join a label or something, I could show the videos that people have been posting and have them get in touch with you.” Your eyes narrowed as you looked between him and the piece of paper that he was now holding out to you. You reluctantly grabbed it, finally looking him in the eye, and that’s when it hit you, the realization finally kicking in as you stared at him, but you couldn’t muster anything but silence. “It’s really nice hearing that I’m your bias though. I hope you’ll give me a call, maybe we can do a song together.” You couldn’t say anything, you were in a state of complete shock as you looked at him, your mouth hung open and your breath stuck in your lungs as you tried to come to terms with what you had just been told. “Get home safely, I’ll see you around… hopefully.”
The shock wasn’t something that would wear off anytime soon. When you got home you couldn’t even speak, you couldn’t find the words to say and you didn’t even know how you’d tell your friend who seemed to grow even more worried with each passing second of your silence. It’s not just the shock that was keeping you silent though, it was also that you knew that if you told her about what had happened, she would be all over you. She’d be urging you and annoying you to call his number until you finally decide to do it just to shut her up and get her off your back. It’s not even that you don’t want to call him, it’s that you’re too nervous right now. The last thing that you expected when you were busking was for your bias to basically come up and compliment you on your performance and then give you his phone number. It wasn’t something that happened every day for buskers… right?
“Can you just tell me what happened? You’ve been acting weird ever since you played and that’s been like… a week now.” Your friend said, sitting across from you at the kitchen table. You carried the small paper with his number around with you everywhere, worried that she’d find it and question what it was. You still hadn’t called it though, and you didn’t know if you ever would. It’s not like you hadn’t talked to her at all, the only reason she thought you were acting weird is because you still hadn’t told her about what happened. “Come on, Y/N! I’m your best friend, you’re supposed to tell me these things. I can cheer you up if you need it.”
That was the funny part that she didn’t know though. You didn’t need to be cheered up, what you really needed was to be calmed down. There were random moments during the span of a day where you’d think about the conversation that you had with him and your heart would start beating way too fast to be healthy and you’d need to calm yourself down. You didn’t really know how to keep it from happening, but you knew that if you called him or texted him that those moments would happen way more often than even now. “I’m fine, really. Just thinking of what I can play the next time I go out.” You gave her the half lie, and it was only half because you did want to go out and play again, not for the same reason she wanted you to though, but because you thought that if you did, he would be there again. You weren’t actually thinking about playing though, you were thinking about meeting him again, you were thinking about texting him, you were only thinking about him.
“You want to play again?!” She cheered out, all signs of her worrying seemed to disappear completely as if they were never even there in the first place. “I can set it up for you again, I can put out a couple posts. Your fans are going to be so happy. Can you believe that though? You’re not an idol, you’re just a street performer and you already have fans… Not that you don’t deserve them but… You know?” You nodded, although you had only been half listening to her rambling. “Alright, cool! I’ll go start putting out the posts and stuff and you can go practice the new songs that you’ll be playing. Maybe this time some producer or something will come along and see you play. That would be amazing!” She pushed herself up from her chair and ran to her room. She was none the wiser that something like that had already happened.
Now that she was gone and you were left alone at the table, the little paper that was left in your wallet in your bedroom seemed to have some type of gravitational pull, like it was calling out for you to actually use it. You had been thinking about texting him for so long that it was the only thing you could think about at this point. It would be better to just get it done. You could only hope that he would still remember who you were. It’s been a week since he’s given you his number, you hoped that it wasn’t too late.
You ran into your room, shutting the door and locking it behind you as you retrieved the paper from your wallet, falling down on your bed and staring at it, your reluctance keeping you from pulling your phone out of your pocket and texting him right that second. You knew that you needed to get it done before your friend finished putting out the posts, and you knew how quick she was with doing it. If you were going to text him, you needed to do it now. There was no time for hesitation, if your friend saw that you were texting someone she’d question you non stop about it. She was much like a mother to you, and while you appreciated her care most of the time, sometimes it was just annoying, although you’d never tell her that.
“Hi, this is Y/N. We talked last week after my busking, you said to text you if I wanted to join a label or something and… Well this isn’t really a text about that because I… I’m not sure if I could handle that kind of fame. I kind of just wanted to talk to you about it….” You sent the text without even reading it over, but once it was on your screen in the little bubble, you let your eyes wander over the words that you had written and you realized that it probably seemed a lot like all you wanted to do was talk to him. That point isn’t exactly false, but you did want to know more about joining a label and being picked up by one, you wanted to know what it was like. You didn’t even know if he’d write you back, you hoped that he would though.
The first day passed and you didn’t get a response, your initial thought was that he was busy, it wouldn’t be far fetched, he’s a busy guy and there were more important things for him to handle than texting you back immediately. The second day that passed had you thinking the same thing, you weren’t worried that he had forgotten you, although the thought lingered in the back of your head. The third and fourth day had your hope dwindling, and by that point you felt like it would be better to just give up, to stop worrying about it in general. You had a performance to prepare for in another two days and most of your practice time your mind had been occupied by thoughts of whether or not he’d text you back at all.
By the sixth day you had practically forgotten about texting him, the paper that was still in your wallet didn’t carry the same power that it seemed to have before you had texted him at all. You had made your move and the ball wasn’t in your court anymore. If he didn’t want to text you back, that was on him and there was nothing you could do about it. Even if you wanted to do something about it, you didn’t have time, you had a performance to do in the evening and you needed to practice as much as you could before you had to head out.
“Seems like you’ve loosened up a lot since that last performance, maybe your nerves just had the best of you.” Your friend pointed out as she loaded everything back into her car. You were on the passenger side putting your guitar and your microphone stand into the backseats, shrugging your shoulders as you shut the door. “You’re becoming a natural, that’s why you need to be picked up by someone. They’d be lucky to have an artist like you under their label, Y/N.” You hummed quietly, not trying to sound disinterested, but all you really wanted to do was get to the street corner that had somehow become your own and start playing. “I think even more people are going to be there tonight. Your fan base is growing which is really good. Big labels see that and would want to sign someone that already has a following.”
She was trying so hard to hype you up as she got into the driver's side, her own body bouncing with her own excitement, her imagination running rampant most likely with thoughts of what it would be like if you did get famous. It still wasn’t what you wanted though, being famous wasn’t necessary, and you didn’t want to make music to make money, you did it because music made people happy and you wanted to be one of those artists that did it for the fans, not the money. “You know that being signed isn’t a big deal to me. What matters is that people like the music, that they enjoy it.” You mumbled, sliding down into your seat. She glanced over at you as she pulled up to the red light, her head tilted and her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“You’re acting weird again… not tense weird, but just… weird weird.” She said, shaking her head as the light turned green again, letting out a quiet sigh. “You know that you don’t have to do this just because I’m asking you to.” You nodded slowly, and you already knew that that was the case, but she didn’t seem to think you understood what she meant, or maybe she was just trying to keep the conversation going to fill the silence of the car. “I’m serious. I know that I seem kind of pushy, but if you want to go home right now I’ll turn the car around.”
Your tongue clicked against the roof of your mouth as you thought about it, really letting what she said run through your head. You could go home, but that would also mean letting everyone who had come out to see you down. That wouldn’t be right, they had already been promised another performance and you weren’t going to be the type of person to change your mind last minute. It’s not like you didn’t want to do it, it wasn’t that at all, but you couldn’t tell your friend that. “No, you don’t have to turn around…” You let out a giggle that sounded way too awkward, but she didn’t seem to pick up on it at all, the corners of her lips pulling up into a small smile when she heard the sound. “I’ll be fine, it’s probably just my nerves getting the best of me again.” You used your nerves way too often as the reasoning behind your strange behavior and luckily your friend knew you as the type of person to get nervous often so she bought it. Maybe one day you’d be able to tell her that the reason you had acted so strangely was because you had met Sangyeop and that he had never responded to your message, but now wasn’t the time for that. As much as she tried to say that she wasn’t pushy and that she’d never make you do something you didn’t want to do, if she knew about him, she would most likely push you harder. You knew what you needed to do, and you knew that you were capable of doing it, you just needed to do it at your own pace on your own time. You’d get over what had happened, it would just take some time.
The last note rang out of the speakers as you finished another set, another show to write down in the books and somehow the crowd had grown even more. You never expected to see so many people, but they all cheered for you when you had come up on stage, and they cheered when you finished a song, and the round of applause and the roar of the crowd after you had finished the show entirely was something that you had only heard in concerts for famous bands before. It felt like a dream and you weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to get used to the sound of it or the sight of so many faces looking up at you, you weren’t sure how anyone got used to the feeling. It was unreal, but instead of the nervousness that you had felt during previous performances, you felt… excited, you felt like you could smile, you truly enjoyed it.
“You might need to book a venue if you play again. They’re gonna start wrapping around the street corner soon.” Just like before, the voice came from behind you as you were packing away your things, and just like before, it wasn’t your friend's voice. It was the same voice from before, and now you had a name to go with the voice and the face that went with it was one that you had dreamt of many nights. “You did great tonight. Sometimes I feel like you play our songs better than we do.” He was… joking… He was joking around as if he hadn’t left you with silence for the past week after you had texted him. He was acting like the two of you were good friends instead of what it really was. You were just a busker, he was an idol, you were just a fan and he was the star. You had tried to take him up on the offer that he had given you, but you were either too late, or he just didn’t care. Whatever the reason, it didn’t make it fair for him to give you the whiplash that you were feeling right now with the way he was acting.
With a quick zip of your guitar case, you swung it onto your shoulder, turning on your heel and looking him straight in the face. Sure, looking at him this way had your heart racing, but he didn’t have to know that. “Yeah well, booking a venue might be kind of hard when you’re a nobody like me. Thanks for the recommendation though, I’ll be sure to try it out, although I didn’t get much of a response with the first one.” You said, the sharpness of your tone clearly taking him back, his eyes widening momentarily as he stared at you, but you weren’t going to give him much more of your time. You had wasted a week overthinking everything and wondering if you’d ever get a response from him and you’d be damned if you were going to waste another second of your time on him. “I need to go, have a good night.”
With a wave of your hand you started walking away, but his footsteps quickly followed behind you as you walked to your friend's car. If she saw him, she wouldn’t let you sit with your thoughts during the car ride home or even when you got home. If you stopped to talk to him you’d have to face the embarrassment of the possible fact that he just hadn’t gotten the message and the fact that you wasted a week of your life worrying about a text that hadn’t even been seen or noticed. Both were awful, but you valued your peace and you valued your sanity that your friend would surely chip away at if she thought there was a boy in your life, so you quickly turned around to face him, your jaw set as you looked up at him. “Wh-” He started, but he quickly caught himself, blinking a few times as he racked his brain for what to say. “I feel like you’re mad at me, and I’m not really sure why…” Your arms crossed in front of your chest and your teeth sank down into your tongue to keep from ranting at him, waiting for him to try to figure it out himself… Hoping that he’d figure it out himself. “Did you… Did you try to text me?” You gave him a face that was your way of telling him that he’s onto it, that he’s getting somewhere, and then his eyes went wide, his mouth hanging open slightly as sudden realization kicked in for him. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry… I… My phone broke and I had to get a new one and I got a new number because I didn’t want to go through the hassle of switching over all my data and…” Your eyes narrowed at him, the story seeming almost fake, like an excuse to get out of having to say that he just didn’t want to text you back. “I’m serious. Look… If you texted me, and I was just ignoring you, why would I have come here tonight to talk to you?” His head tilted to the side and his eyes softened, and you could see it in his eyes that he was telling the truth, and that’s when that sudden wave of embarrassment washed over you.
You sighed loudly, adjusting the strap of your guitar case that felt twenty times heavier on your shoulder now, and you couldn’t seem to find the words to say. “So… Now what? I messaged you and… I just wanted to know what comes along with being signed onto a label, I wanted to know if it was a good choice. I didn’t know what to do…” Now it felt like you were rambling, but as you kept watching him, it didn’t seem like he was getting annoyed with you, it didn’t even seem like he was bothered by it. If anything, it looked more like he was enjoying it, a look of amusement in his eyes as his lips twitched up into a small smile.
“Well, if it’s alright with you and whoever you’re riding with, we don’t have to just talk about it over the phone or through messages. There’s a cafe that stays open 24 hours, so, if you’d like, we can go there.” The inner fangirl in you was jumping all over the offer, your heart thrumming uncontrollably in your chest at the mere thought of sitting across from him in a cafe. Of course, the rational side of you was stuck on the thought of having to explain to your friend what you were doing and where you were going and who you were with. You would never hear the end of it, especially if she knew who exactly he was and what he did. “It won’t take long, and if your friend wants to come too, they can.” Obviously you didn’t want that. Your friend would do all the talking for you, and while you loved her to death, you wouldn’t get a word in edgewise and it would ruin what could potentially be something good.
“I’ll uhm… I’ll go tell her what’s up…” You whispered, suddenly shy again, walking backwards towards the parking lot where your friend's car was, keeping him in your line of sight until you got close enough to the road and then you started running. As soon as you were at the car you were sliding your guitar into the backseat, almost breathless from the mixture of excitement and the endurance from the running. “You can go home, I’ll be back later. I promise I’ll tell you all about it when I get back, but I have to go now.” You said it as quickly as possible, not even giving her a second to question what you were doing before practically slamming the backdoor shut and running back to where you had left Sangyeop. This was like a dream, at least that’s what it felt like, but even if it was, you hadn’t felt this excited, this hopeful in so long, you wanted to give yourself the time to revel in it.
Sitting in the tiny recording booth, your back to the glass window behind you, the headphones covering your ears and relaying the instrumental track that you had worked for what felt like weeks on. Working on your first single was something that had both excitement and fear building up within you, the excitement of finally creating something that was your own and the fear of the reception it would receive.
It was the last run in the studio, the final recording and then it would be mastered and edited to line up perfectly with the instrumentals and the closer it got to that final moment, the more you were beginning to relax. You could feel the eyes on your back as you sat on the stool and you didn’t have to turn around to see who was looking at you. They brought along with them a comforting aura that let you know that no matter what, you’d always have someone rooting for you from the sidelines.
The song slowly faded out and your headphones became silent, the end of the recording process and the beginning of what could be a new path in your life. If the single was liked by the people, if your fanbase stuck around and actually enjoyed your songs, you could become someone, you could be something. “That was great, it sounded amazing.” The voice sounded from behind you, and before you turned around to see who it was, there was a hand placed on your shoulder giving it a light squeeze. “We can go get lunch or…” They paused for a second, letting out a soft chuckle before continuing. “Actually dinner. We can go get dinner. I don’t think you realize how long you’ve been in here.”
You spun around to look up at him, that same familiar smile on his face that he’d wear when he’d come up to you after your street performances. It was crazy to think that it had already been half a year since that had happened, half a year since your last busking performance. Your fans stayed active and kept up on everything that you did and your friend had become something like a manager for your online accounts. She made sure to keep everything updated, especially when you had become so busy with planning out your first single and writing it and perfecting it. “Did I keep you waiting too long? I’m sorry… You could have gone to get lunch without me though.” You murmured sheepishly, the sound of his stomach growling making you feel even worse than you had before, but he only shook his head, leaning in to kiss your forehead.
“I wasn’t just going to leave in the middle of your recording session.” He said it matter-of-factly, as if it were something that you should have already known, but his words had your heart skipping a beat. “Plus, since I was here, I got to download the raw demo which means that you and I can listen to it on the way to dinner.” He smiled proudly and you couldn’t sustain the giggle that was building in your throat at how mischievous he looked, as if he had just done something that he wasn’t supposed to do, but you knew as much as he did that nobody would have a problem with him having that kind of file unless he planned on uploading it somewhere.
You shook your head, scooting off the stool and heading towards the door, letting out a sigh of content at the relieving feeling of being able to stretch your legs. “I don’t know if I want to listen to it yet…” You admitted, looking over your shoulder to see that he was following after you, his phone already in his hand as he pulled up the file that he downloaded off the computer. “I mean… If I hear it and I don’t like it then I’ll just go back into the writing process and it’ll take another six months of writing and rewriting and sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do.” You shuddered at the memory of all the sleep you missed out on, the way your eyes would burn after sitting at your desk in your room all night with only your desk lamp illuminating the notepad with full pages scratched out. Those were times that you knew you’d have to go through again, but you could only hope they’d get easier with each song you put out. The main problem now was that the first song had to be perfect or else you as an artist would be a flop.
Sangyeop tsked his tongue, wrapping his arms around your waist and waddling behind you out of the recording room and down the hallway of the building towards the exit, his lips occasionally pressing against the crook of your neck to try to ease the nervousness that was building inside you. “You’re too hard on yourself jagi…” He whispered against your skin, and while his words had slightly helped with relieving the nervousness that you felt from your music, it had other nerves standing on edge and your stomach filling with butterflies. You knew it wasn’t really what he had said that was having this effect on you, it was more so the closeness, the feeling of his lips on your skin and his hot breath lingering against your neck. “I’ve listened to you sing, I’ve listened to you play, and I’ve listened to the entire recording process for your single. It’s perfect, and why would it not be when it’s coming from you?”
The heat built up in you as his arms seemed to snake tighter around your waist, keeping you as close to him as possible. “Are you going to flirt with me the whole time or are we going to eat?” You teased, although you could hear your own voice wavering, failing to hide just how flustered he was making you. He laughed loudly, nuzzling his nose against your cheek before letting you go and moving to stand beside you, taking your hand in his own as you both headed out to the car. Even though it’s been five months since the two of you had started dating, you still couldn’t really believe that you were actually with him, that you had gotten that lucky. Sometimes you worried that at some point you’ll wake up and everything that you’ve done, everything that’s happened in the past six months will have all just been a very very realistic and detailed dream. It had you wanting to live in every moment, to fully soak it in, but it also had you terrified that if you enjoyed it too much that when you did finally wake up you’d only be more disappointed with the sad reality that you had to face.
“I think I can handle doing both. I’m quite good at multitasking.” He teased back although his voice was more steady than yours was and what’s more, you could tell that he was enjoying it. His hand slipped out of yours to pull open the passenger side door and hold it open for you as you climbed in, smiling softly as you did and resting his chin on top of his arms that were propped against the top of the doorframe. “Do you think that you’d want to maybe do a collaboration with me? We can sing a song together or something and release it as our own single?” You looked up at him with narrowed eyes, questioning the seriousness of the proposition. You hadn’t even released your first single yet and he was already talking about collaborating with you.
You giggled lightly, buckling your seatbelt and turning to look out the windshield as you waited for him to shut the door. “You’re funny. You don’t even know if people are going to like my single and you want to potentially ruin your career by collabing with me?” It wasn’t truly meant in a way to put yourself down, but that was the way that he must have taken it and he seemed more insulted by it than you would have been. He sighed loudly, rolling his eyes as he moved around the car door to lean inside, his face close to yours as he looked you in the eye, his expression almost stern. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
His eyes narrowed at your question, his head shaking slowly as he pulled back and shut the door to run around to the drivers side, climbing in quickly and starting up the car before pulling off. “Your career is going to take off with lighting speed, I don’t see how it couldn’t. Plus, if collaborating with my girlfriend on a song means potentially ruining my career then… well… I don’t really care. I’d get to do what I love to do with the person that I love, I don’t see a problem with that.” He was so serious about it, you realized just how much faith he had put in you, how much he believed in you, and how painful it was for him to hear that you might not believe in yourself. “Now, let's listen to your song on the way to dinner, I really do think you’ll love it. I know I do.”
You nodded slowly, grabbing the phone that he handed to you and plugging it into the aux cord before starting up your song. It sounded strange hearing it through the speakers, to hear your own voice playing back at you, unedited, just you and no filters, no corrections, and what was even more strange was the way that Sangyeop looked when he listened to it. It was the face that you only could imagine one would make if they had heard a choir of angels singing to them, and while it was hard for you to hear yourself in that type of way, to know that someone else did, to know that he did, it just showed how much he loved you, how much he loved everything about you. It made you realize that it didn’t really matter if you had a world of fans out there rooting for you, as nice as it may be, all that really mattered was that you had him and your friend still standing there beside you no matter what happened. You didn’t need the world to love you because you already had two people who had a world of love to give and you didn’t need to be scared of the future anymore because you knew that in the end, they’d always be there with you, walking the path right beside you.