#luke; interaction.

[fightsbck]

‘    after    -     ...    after i’m sober.    after i’m clean.    we could   ...     we could take that trip.    you    -    you wanted to see elephants,   right ?    and horses.   anything.    ’     /    from luke for @boundedbygrief​ !

   soft one-liner.

[fightsbck]

‘     i know that   ...   that the house is loud,   but   -    there’s nothing to be scared of,   okay ?   i’m right here.    ’     /     from luke for @selfhaunting​ !

   soft one-liner sc.

[fightsbck]

      ‘     i    ...     i don’t think it’ll end.     ’      /     from luke for @rosevois !

 *   no longer accepting   :   starter call   !

[fightsbck]

  ‘     this   ...    —   this isn’t how things are supposed t’ be.     ’      /    from luke for @sparestars !

*   accepting   :   one - liner starter call   !

[fightsbck]

       ‘     i can still see her,    you know.     ’    he says it low,    under his breath,   as though if he spoke up on it just a bit louder,   it’ll shatter—   something.   anything.   maybe this illusion of quietness this night brings them.    but nothing is quiet,   really.   not to him,   no.   nothing is ever    -    just is.    he will always feel something else,   hear something more.    it’s colder,   of course;    like feeling a desert island blanketed in snow somewhere inside that he couldn’t find to warm it up,   where he think nell used to reside.    but even in the coldness,    there’s wind.    there is no without,   luke closes his eyes and breathes out the cigarette smoke.    nothing is quiet,   really.   if he listens to it,   he’ll hear a voice always calling him back home.      ‘    —i don’t   ...   i don’t care if you believe me.    i see her.     ’       /      from luke for @pathstread !

*  accepting   :   starter call  !

[fightsbck]

❝ i just wish i could be strong enough. ❞ from eleanor crain , to luke crain .

‘   why don’t you think that ?   ’

an innocent question with what probably is an obvious answer   -   if luke had been any of his other siblings,   that is.   but he isn’t.   he’s her twin,   he knows better.    knows that nell’s    -    nell’s more than just the little baby in the family who cried wolf all the time,   even if it wasn’t a wolf.   even if it was something more sinister,   something more dark.    because the fear she felt   …   it’s real.    and maybe luke was wrong;   trying to dampened their twin thing with drugs just so nell’s demons couldn’t swallow him whole too,   but    -    but the point was that nell   -    she’s more than   -    than the weakling.    and it hurts him.   deeply so.   where steve couldn’t heal,  where dad probably have no idea how to even fix in the first place,    that    -    that he failed her.    he failed her when he promised her he wouldn’t.

‘   you’re   -    strong.   strongest person i know.     i    -    who told you you weren’t strong ?    i can   -    i can talk to them.    fuck them.    let me talk to them.   ’

   indie songs.    

[fightsbck]

"heroin isn’t going to solve your problems." / nell to luke.

𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙲 𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚂𝚃 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂     ,     𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙴𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶  !

          a sniff.    terrible and probably improper.    his knuckles coming up to knock against the nose,    eyes drifting anywhere but at nell.    if aunt janet is around,    luke has no doubt she’ll have a thing or two to say about where he’s been,    and,   obviously,    what he has been doing.    luke doesn’t wanna answer her;    so it’s probably good she’s still out at her job.     he wants to step inside,    but nell is blocking him.    she’s small now;    smaller than he thinks he remembers,   because the nell in his head is     -      the same size as he is.    long haired and wide eyed and fierce tone always knowing what to say to steve every time luke shrieks away.     he can’t recognise her now.    or maybe because he’s    -     what do people say?    -     oh,    yeah,    high.    he’s high and it’s hard to focus and he hadn’t brought his glasses with him the last time he left which,    in retrospect,    wasn’t a good idea but luke thinks he could get used to this.    this blurred life.    this unseeing.    it’s nice.   harmless.

          he shakes his head,    somehow looking like he’s only taking in her words.     he wishes he could say he’s sorry;    but he’s said it so much at this point,    he felt like that damn boy crying out the wolf.    no one would listen.   no one would understand.    and even nell,    she    -    she doesn’t understand.       ‘     …i    —     ’       it’s hard to speak.    it feels like he’s swallowing cotton.     ‘     i don’t   -    i didn’t wanna make you see     -      ’      i don’t want you to see me like this,    ‘       -    not like this.      ’      he wants to go inside.    he wants to lie down and not be apart of the world for a while.     nell isn’t even physically restricting him,   but he feels cornered nevertheless.    powerless.    always without an ounce of power.    always with someone chasing him and there’s nothing he could do to fight them back.      ‘      i    -     you    -     aren’t you   -   …   supposed to go out?     ’

[fightsbck]

❝ i wanna raise your spirits. ❞ / nell to luke!

*   𝙼𝙾𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙽 𝙿𝙾𝙿   ,   𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙴𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶   !

          ‘      and i wanna raise yours,    too.     ’        luke likes to think he’s   -   stronger now.    better.    cleaner.    or at least,    he likes to think that he sounds like he is.     but he’s not sure.    the thing about progress is     …     it’s not that easy.     just the other day,    he’d come to steve’s door step with more colour to his skin,    more skip in his step.    joey was   …    she was amazing.    and she was funny,    and she was smart,    and she had his back even though she didn’t have to.     luke had thought the night was going so well.    but not steve.    oh,    not steve.      and the worst part is:    luke gets it.    luke understands.    he was shitty.    there wasn’t a single notable thing about him since he was fourteen and failing classes and nearly failing high school,    then later failing his entire life,    that could make every doubt in steve’s body go away about how far he’d gotten.     he gets that.

           but god,    does it hurt all the same to blatantly see that anger and resentment and,   you’re only going to disappoint me again,    dripping right in his big brother’s tone and behaviour.     it hurts,    but    -     but that’s okay.    because luke has joey with him.    joey who would smile,    and joke about the food here,    and makes sure he isn’t on his own anymore,    and then there’s nell.    nellie,   and their picture together that nearly got washed away when he didn’t check his jeans before dumping it into the wash.    in that polaroid,    nellie and him were pressed cheek-to-cheek,    face splattered with cake in aunt janet’s kitchen.    it’s his favourite picture out of everything he ever owns.       ‘      i’m better now.    i think.    but maybe you,   uh   -    you can feel it?    you can,   can’t you?      ’      he smiles into the phone,   fingers itching now to trace back that worn picture.       ‘       and when i’m much better,   when i get out,   we can finally go ride that horse and elephants like we always talk about.    our own adventure.     ’