I got really sick again. It’s even worse than last time. One second I was teaching Beckendorf this new disarming technique, and the next, I woke up in the infirmary. I don’t even remember passing out this time. When I woke up, half of the camp was blubbering next to my bed, a bunch of snotty-faced kids sobbing and poking my arms and chest til I woke up. I won’t lie: it was scary, diary. Worse than the nosebleeds and dizziness, or seeing those spots on my arms and legs. Even worse then that time I got so sick they actually considered taking me to a hospital. The way those kids were crying, you’d think I was really dead. Even Annabeth was crying, half between what I realized were prayers. Maybe to Hermes, or to her own mom Athena. Maybe even to Zeus if she was desperate, but I doubt it.
Chiron shooed them all out so I could get some rest, and when I tried to get up he pushed me back down and promised to bring me dinner and make sure someone else took up my duties. I keep thinking maybe I should go to the doctor. A real doctor, not a bunch of kids that can tell which bone I broke, and how to patch it up. Maybe a real doctor would tell me what’s wrong and help me get better. Maybe even my mom maybe she I’m her son she has to know something. But Chiron says it isn’t safe for us to leave camp, and that he knows just what to do to make sure I get better. He keeps thinking I’m like the other kids, but I’m not. I’m sick, and I know it. He says that if I pray to my father he’ll help me.
Diary, here’s something I want you to take to the grave: I’m scared, terrified that praying to Hermes won’t be enough. That one day I just won’t wake up. But I have to trust Chiron. I have to.
Annabeth is sulking with the rest of her cabin. Maybe I should feel bad, but I’m tired and she needs to grow a spine. I was dizzy again, my head hurt, and Annabeth kept talking, I don’t even know about what this, but she’s always talking and she doesn’t know when to shut up and I hadn’t even eaten breakfast because I rushing after the new twins… and I just snapped at her. It wasn’t even serious, I think I said she needed to find another hobby other than trying to be her mom’s favorite, but she looked like I’d stabbed her between the eyes. Now all her siblings are glaring at me like I killed their favorite pet. Do you know how creepy it is to have a bunch of gray eyed clones glaring at you? Athena’s a narcissist, even worse than Apollo, because at least his kids aren’t all blonde and blue eyed.
Annabeth and her siblings keep turning their noses at me, and I’ve got half a mind to rip those little curls off her head, and Malcolm’s, and the entire Athena cabin’s too, if it’ll get them to stop being so stuck up. She keeps telling me that maybe if I pray to the gods enough, I’ll get better, that I just need some good sleep and food and faith. But that’s where she’s wrong. She thinks that if I ask Hermes nice enough he’ll make me healthy, just like how she thinks that if she does as Athena says she’ll be the favorite one, the one her mom loves above the rest. But Athena doesn’t care about her, or her siblings. The gods don’t care about any of them, not a single one of the kids here, except for when they need the worship. And trust me, diary, when I say that — especially Hermes — they sure as hell don’t care about care about me.
* EXCERPTS FROM THE DIARY OF LUKE CASTELLAN