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staying hydrated uwu - E- 2884 words Grimm/OC light CNC, established D/s relationship, watersports, humiliation
Grimm moves his hand that was holding their leg until now, and goes on to press his arm against their lower stomach. Firmly. Trying to force their coremata out. And in doing so, almost causing an accident.
[read on ao3]
callous. - M - 6523 words Grimm, OCs graphic violence, character death, vigilantism
"The only thing better would be to defile their graves, but I am not callous enough to kill.”
Grimm, however, had no such reservations.
[read on ao3]
briefly on cirrus (& who he was to luuca) bc apparently i never typed this up anywhere
[mentioned abuse, sexual abuse]
luuca was exiled from the moth troupe, but not alone.
slight tangent to explain exiling a bit: heretics, dissidents, anyone radiance decided was too close to such, they got kicked out. now, the moth tribe knew that one could make it across the wastes and live somewhere else. but that's assuming they were prepared for the journey; the exiles got always sent away with next to nothing. they didn't want their goddess and the community she provided, obviously they should not want any handouts here either. what little was given to aid in the journey was more a pretense of help. in practice, only a fraction survived long enough to make it out of the wastes alive.
so, they got exiled with three others. one died in the wastes. the surviving trio happened by a caravan some time after, weak and delirious, and got taken in by those travelers. had they not, they would've died soon, too. once they made it to civilization and had had a chance to recover, one of the moths decided to go their own way separate from luuca and the remaining other moth, cirrus. that's the last they saw of that one.
cirrus, however, did stick around. he and luuca were each other's support system in this start of a new life in a new, strange place. they hadn't really been close before, barely knew each other before their exile, but extreme circumstances brought them together and they got along well enough. that lasted for months, close to a year, until cirrus met his would be ladyfriend.
luuca learned he was seeing someone, and did notice a new side of cirrus come to light. he seemed more energetic. eventually they met [name & species pending]. they didn't really feel like they clicked with her initially, but were happy for cirrus. and they did come to like her well enough.
life continued less or more as usual with nothing major happening, until one night when the three of them were spending time together, things got a little friskier than usual, and cirrus' partner started pushing for what luuca wasn't comfortable with. luuca expected cirrus would've stepped in, but, if anything, he encouraged her. and this is where things went to shit.
cirrus dropped all contact with luuca after that. they would sometimes see one of the two around town, but luuca too avoided them.
it was years later that the nightmare troupe happened by that town and luuca left their old life behind one more time. cirrus and his partner were later found very extremely dead
notes on how the grimm works but also kinda his entire backstory. under cut bc long
notes on grimm and luuca
cw past sexual abuse, d/s dynamics involving consensual nonconsent, etc
grimm uses 'lover' as a blanket term for people he's had sex with, it doesn't hold much meaning beyond that. while luuca certainly falls under that, it's not the most important part to him. (currently unsure if i want them to use dominant and submissive specifically, i get finicky about terms in settings that are not based on present-day reality, but either those or some equivalent of would be the go-to. need to think of titles they might use. though grimm gets finicky on that front; doesn't want to be called master or anything similar. 'master' is for non-kink uses only.)
the cnc started out as roleplay contained within a scene. and over time they experimented with that sort of thing, just occasionally at first, but consistently enough that eventually grimm thought to ask if they would make it a more 'official' arrangement. something more permanent.
a bit of background on luuca: before the troupe, luuca was living in exile from the moth tribe. they were doing generally fine, until their assault. their abusers were another moth (cirrus) they considered a friend, not someone particularly close, but close enough, especially after what they'd been through together, and his partner (unnamed). the encounter started out consensual, but little things came up that bothered luuca, which were dismissed when they tried to voice their discomfort, and then everything escalated from there. (this is also when they got their wings torn at the edges and their other antenna broken. it was all around a shitty time.)
on a surface level their kinks are a 'revisiting/processing traumatic event in a safe, controlled way' situation, and there's some of that in there too, but more so it's about the shame and anxiety brought by them having initiated the interaction that ended with their assault. they could not enjoy sex for the longest time without feeling guilty about wanting anything at all. rape fantasies, and later cnc, were the loophole around that (can't be guilty if you didn't want/agree to it), though it also came with it's own complicated emotions and, initially, added distress. it was not a logical thought process that led to their fantasies, but their subconscious making a cocktail with the ingredients given. it took time to accept and longer to fully process. they had dreams: sometimes nightmares more distinctly reminiscent of their abuse, sometimes more vague, with someone unknown taking them; involuntary physical reactions were a hurdle to start with, but once they realized that was not all, that they were waking not from anxiety but arousal that went beyond simple physical responses, is when it got messier.
the first time playing with grimm was the first mostly guilt- and anxiety-free sexual experience since their assault. and if he hadn't happened to discover their fantasies, they were at the time content to take all of it to their grave and remain celibate, just to avoid the distress of being perceived as wanting. which would have come as a surprise to most who knew them, since they weren't shy around the topic of sex in a more broad, general sense. they can hide a fair bit of anxiety behind relaxed confidence, and early on, grimm wasn't as good at picking out the nuances of emotions he can sense from the troupe.
it took a long time of playing with grimm before luuca warmed up to anything else or anyone else. but when they did, they figured they like doing intimacy this way, just in general. and even if other things were on the table now, this affected the dynamics with grimm rather by making it more intense, as this was around when they reconfigured their relationship and dynamic.
and, expanding on the first time, it was. a success in some ways, not so much in others. grimm dealt with a drop immediately following the scene and then a continued low in the days after, which meant that, among others things, he kept some distance to luuca. luuca on their part almost had a drop, after getting back to reality from their high and not having been immediately able to spot grimm - but they noticed where he was before their anxiety got the better of them. had grimm been able to pay attention to how luuca was feeling before he could calm down, he would have felt very differently about the whole ordeal.
some days after that scene luuca decided to go talk to grimm because they noticed he wasn't doing so great. they didn't actually have sex. there was an attempt, but luuca got nervous to the point grimm called it off. after that there was cuddling and just being close, and that's the part that grimm cared about. that luuca willingly came to him, offering something devoid of all the power games. and, he was more comfortable getting in 'control', to decide that they would just be there and hold each other, in a more relaxed setting like that. which helped luuca calm down in turn.
it was a learning process for both of them, figuring out how to make things work beyond the one semi-fumbled go they lucked out with. they went pretty hard for first time and started with actual small steps after that, after having had a chance to reflect on how things worked out and how they could have gone both better and worse.
while luuca did say 'anything', when they worked out their long-term agreement, really it meant 'anything within grimm's limits', and that's the mutual understanding on that too. there's things luuca doesn't care for or that are soft limits that grimm is into, like biting, or scents, but the right amount of pushing those limits is something that adds to the experience for them. and sometimes it's a bargaining chip. i'll let you do x if you're willing to try y is something grimm heard more than once or twice, earlier on. soft limit ≠ hard limit.
and grimm's limits are what restrict their play the most. between the two of them luuca is more eager to go further, to the point that they sometimes worry about pushing grimm. it's not always easy to tell when he's nervous about something because he doesn't want to do it period, and when he's nervous because he does want it, he's just worried it would be too much. and here's a part of why they operate with a system of luuca suggesting things and grimm deciding if and when those things happen.
(he does have his own ideas too, but luuca can be prolific on that front.)
to luuca, kink is sexual first and foremost. to grimm these are two separate things that can also be enjoyed together, and particularly later on he does not hesitate to edge and even tease luuca without ever getting sexual at all when the mood strikes.
luuca will not beg, but might express their frustration with some colourful language, among other things. they are above being petty or making themself a nuisance when they know they are being toyed with.
often enough, the consent play is the only intense part of these two having sex. on surface level it might even appear gentle with playful teasing and resisting, but there is still the power exchange. and depending on luuca's headspace, gentle might be more intense emotionally than more overt play. gentle, and trying new things that push limits, are two situations where grimm is particularly careful.
a lot of the more intense stuff they get to is something that luuca initially brought up, grimm shot down without consideration, and then much later once he's really thought about it, they give it a go. or, grimm gives it a go and luuca is there for the ride.
even when there's someone else involved, for the occasional threesome or moresome, be it vanilla(ish) sex or a scene, luuca does not decide anything, though things get toned down a in many ways. the troupe is aware of the nature of the relationship, even if not all the details of it. more than a few would be surprised to learn just how rough (in multiple senses) grimm is with luuca at times.
(they are also aware that luuca can get away with certain things because what's grimm gonna do, threaten them with a good time?? which is why in the event anyone's hesitant to bring up an issue with grimm directly, they often go to luuca.)
(this is also why grimm has to get creative if he ever wants to 'punish' them.)
(and for real grimm would be more likely to stress himself into an anxiety attack about doing something luuca would genuinely, not at all in the fun way be distressed over, than actually do it.)
once they got properly established with their more permanent arrangement, the cnc aspect became more prominent, and also changed. it was not just about roleplay anymore, but a dynamic of their relationship in general. luuca has essentially consented to their consent not being considered. grimm decides what they do and when, and luuca's input is not pertinent. and, power exchange is part of their daily life to an extent. it's always there in the background. luuca's devotion to grimm and helping with whatever he needs assistance with is just that, but also acts of service as part of their submission.
there's a lot of little things luuca handles in his stead; grimm decides something should be done and luuca sees to it that it gets done. if he needs assistance with something, luuca handles it or sees that someone suitable does. and on a more personal level, luuca remembers things from grimm's past lives he doesn't. they tell him some of these things each reincarnation, and bring up some as needed. much of this they have discussed at some point, but at times it's luuca's judgement call.
there is also the element of things luuca chooses to tell others; things grimm doesn't like keeping a secret but also doesn't fancy talking about publicly or semi-publicly. this one is particularly heavy on the responsibilities department when grimm forgets something and doesn't want to be reminded without a good reason. at times luuca does worry, but it's a task given by grimm to handle these things, so handle it they do.
they do have a safeword/signal - typically takes the form of three consecutive taps or such, but could be just about anything, so long as it's repeated that three times and is recognizable as something deliberate - but it's not something luuca really uses, at least not to indicate that they want to stop.
to them, the whole point is that they don't get to have a say. it puts their anxieties around sex at rest. and even after they reach a point that they can relax, they like it; the anticipation of waiting and/or not knowing what might come, and the satisfaction of being claimed. grimm can act extra possessive during a scene and the emotional effect on luuca is on par with best aftercare; their abusers did essentially just abandon them after they were done, and even though luuca only vaguely remembers the fact, its effects are something they carry with them longer than anything else from that day, aside the physical scars.
they used to have an actual word, and technically that is still valid for use, but they switched to a more versatile signal after learning the hard way that grimm struggles with words when he gets anxious enough.
when luuca safewords, it's typically a case of there being an issue grimm was not aware of, something that he would not want to ignore if he had noticed it. maybe they've gotten sick and only just realized it a little before grimm showed up. maybe there's an injury/risk of injury that needs to be attended to right then and there that he didn't notice. and, often they'll just try to explain the situation without the use of the signal, if possible. it's more a backup in case they have trouble getting grimm's attention, or they're gagged and can't talk, or something along those lines.
grimm, on his part, is more likely to safeword precisely because things got too emotionally intense. he's not the best at actually doing so, though. there's been a few times when luuca's noticed he's not really in it, and called things off just to give him a chance to reel back and ground himself.
just about every time luuca has safeworded, it's been because they knew grimm would have wanted to stop, or be made aware of something before deciding whether to continue, and if yes, how to continue.
and related to that, if luuca is actively resisting, they're fine. what grimm knows to look out for is them freezing or fawning (latter not to be confused for when they're exhausted and more cooperative for that reason. they will get grumpy about it).
the safeword signal has spread to some others, primarily through luuca as grimm doesn't play particularly hard with most others, and generally there's less chance of causing confusion as to whether a 'no' or such is part of the play or not. luuca on their part, once they get comfortable enough with others, tends to lean as far into the cnc as a given partner is comfortable going.
(the signal is also something that comes handy when either discreetly needs to alert the other of something serious in the company of strangers. a carefully placed repeated word or gesture in the middle of a friendly interaction isn't likely to raise suspicions.)
aftercare is interesting in that grimm, when he's domming, really just wants to be gentle and caring when he hits that point. luuca is generally more pragmatic, once they got more experienced and started working out the kinks (heh) of how all this works for them. for the most part, it's about the immediate physical needs. and it works out well, much of the time. making sure luuca is physically fine and attending to any problems gives grimm an 'excuse' to fuss over them and be gentle, even if more in the physical sense. the emotional gentleness tends to be reserved for scenarios outside of sex.
and like mentioned, luuca gets anxious about being abandoned, but it's less that they (emotionally) want to be cared for and more that they want to be wanted, be it sexually or in general. grimm just being there and acknowledging them does the trick generally, though he tends to do more than that even when there's nothing else that needs taking care of.
luuca generally prefers grimm stays 'in character' as much as possible with checking in and aftercare. particularly early on, at times grimm being too nice messed with them in a bad way. this was at the time one the bigger obstacles in figuring out something that works for them both, because while grimm enjoys the power and control, he also worries and does not want to push it if he is at all uncertain.
some things with aftercare that extends outside kinky scenarios: whenever grimm is responsible for an injury on luuca, no matter how mild, they let him address it. this goes for things like accidents or the child getting bitey. whatever it is, grimm checks luuca over and treats wounds as needed. they're his, and that means they're his to care for.
and, in a way that goes both ways. luuca is grimm's safe space to fall apart and be messy and emotional. this is in part just because they've been around for so long, but also largely because they've seen all the worst parts of him and still stick by without anything so much as resembling fear or contempt.
in case of grimm having a personal crisis or the like, luuca tends to be the primary line of communication between grimm and the rest of the troupe. there are others who will step up to handle grimm's duties, but anything else that is pressing luuca can relay so that grimm can take his time sorting himself out.
in case of interpersonal conflicts involving grimm that do not appear to be getting anywhere good, fetching luuca to diffuse the situation or to press for a resolution is a common occurrence. while many may be able to pinpoint the issue and offer solutions, luuca has less hesitation with regards to forcing grimm's hand if he does not seem to be getting anywhere near resolving an issue.
dreamsex/somnophilia deserves its own little section. for reasons.
initially luuca would have liked to jump right into grimm fucking with their dreams/nightmares, but he flat out refused. he had his hesitations because of teh inherent power imbalance, and his lack of confidence with manipulating dreams in a controlled way. and a good while later, when they were at the testing waters with various aspects phase, luuca brought up him having sex with their actual physical self while they're asleep. this grimm also initially refused. and after he got assaulted, luuca figured that best not bring that particular kink up again, just to play it safe. grimm had enough of a rough time reconciling with their role as a dom again after that.
to their surprise, grimm might have taken his time considering the dreamsex (as in, both of them are asleep, nothing is going on physically beside involuntary responses, but their minds are fast at work), but it did eventually happen. because he had ideas that carried more of a risk of serious injury, and by then he had grown more confident with his ability to control and manipulate dreams, and there he had a way to test things without risking real, lasting damage. and later, it was something done for its own sake. a little treat for special occasions.
the somno also happened later. after even further careful consideration. grimm didn't like the idea of luuca being unable to communicate at all, even if for them this was, for a good while, the #1 kink to hopefully try at some point. and when that did happen, it was a perfect example of how luuca should be careful what they wish for, because grimm can be creative about implementation and absolutely will scheme when he gets in the mood. they technically got what they wanted and were salty about it for days, much to grimm's delight.
closer to canon events luuca is old and is starting to feel it (au lore is troupe bugs age very very slowly but they do age) and their libido has gradually declined over time, though it's not completely gone. the biggest hurdle is that they need to be a more careful because they can't handle physically demanding things the same way they used to; they do grumble about grimm handling them like they're delicate, though. they may be a bit achy and have less stamina but they're not made of glass, they'll have you know.
fortunately, even when doing something in waking would be a potentially bad idea, grimm can still drop a visit to luuca in their dreams. even if the reason might have shifted from 'this would be a bad idea in general' to 'this would be a bad idea because of age related health concerns'.
tl;dr they have nasty disrespectful sex and also trust each other with their lives. ty for coming to my ted talk
a little bit about luuca (my troupe moth oc) because that grimm hc from yesterday had me thinking about this and i wanted to write it down. (mentioned non-specified abuse, grimm's violent tendencies.)
so. among moths, respecting the dead is a huge deal. nothing sort of being excommunicated or the like would be seen as a just reason to skip the proper rites for a dead moth, and even non-moths will receive a version of that if a moth happens to be there and no one else is showing up to claim the task. in less-than-ideal circumstances, a simple, informal burial/memorial service is considered leagues better than none. what matters most is that someone cared and put in the effort.
as such, disrespecting the dead is a massive taboo. even if you didn't like them, even if they were kind of terrible. they get the rites, they get a grave or a memorial, and afterwards you can ignore them if you must, but you do not disrespect the dead. it is an insult above all others if you do.
anyhow, when luuca and grimm were talking about luuca joining the troupe, they had this to say regarding their abusers:
"I continue to live, just to spite them. They don't have the guts to do anything worse. And if I forget all about it, it was meaningless. What power they still have over me will be gone. The only thing better would be to defile their graves, but I am not callous enough to kill."
what luuca meant: this is the worst thing that i could do to them that doesn't involve violence
what grimm heard: luuca wants those two bugs dead
and after luuca received their mask, grimm did track the culprits down and deal with them. rather violently. remains were later discovered in a cesspit.
he did not tell them, not wanting to chance resurfacing what might have remained of the relevant memories (the plan was to wipe it all, as per luuca's request, but he wasn't as practised then, plus the nightmare king always had some influence in what memories got hidden/removed regardless of the troupe master's feelings) especially since luuca took a while to get adjusted.
but they did remember, just enough that they could figure out roughly what had happened to them. and they also did eventually figure out that there was no way grimm let their abusers live.
luuca did not really feel strongly about the their abusers at that point, one way or another, and was largely emotionally detached. but they were miffed that grimm didn't tell them, and more so, that he didn't ask before acting. while they did not directly confront him about it, much, much later they at times made some pointed comments about how he should ascertain how the target of abuse feels about his style of vigilante justice before he goes and tears someone to shreds.
shallow water - E - 11736 words Grimm/Troupe OCs past sexual trauma, casual sex, emotional hurt/comfort, intimacy after trauma
Nothing has fundamentally changed about him. Of course he still has his wants.
[read on ao3]
playing with Fire - E - 4539 words Grimm/OC noncon, graphic violence, hurt/comfort, detailed warnings in author notes
A bug learns the hard way that it is unwise to cross beings of Nightmare, even when they appear weak.
Another struggles at being helpful.
[read on ao3]
