I hope this post doesn’t breach containment (anyone I know irl finding this) due to the nature of this post, but I wanted to share a lil something. That lil something being my demonic spiritual journey.
Ever since I was seven or eight, I have been awfully drawn to demons. Not because they’re edgy, but I really couldn’t tell you why. I was raised a Christian, I attended a really nice church every Sunday, and I only prayed to god. But somehow the obsession with hell coexisted. I would draw demons every day, back then my religious family didnt see it as any warning signs, especially when my “imaginary friend” was a satanic fallen Angel prostitute. More about her later. Idk, I guess they thought it was cute. I didn’t hide anything from them, I was very open about it all. But it’s not cute now, it’s concerning I guess. When yer older it ain’t a cute lil flaw. It makes people genuinely scared for me.
My imaginary friend back when I was eight I believe was actually my guardian demon, she would speak to me though ideas and intuition. She would give me ideas I couldn’t possibly have conjured by myself, such as a fallen Angel, I thought I made it up back then, but obviously not. She also told me about her side job, how she did stuff to feed her family, she told me what it was but never the details. I wouldn’t have understood everything back then, but I understood a bit. I do remember when she planted the knowledge that she also practices vampirism, she was very interesting. I also remember when she wanted me to start getting into “black magic” and I told my mom but my mom told me that it was “evil” so I should stick to “pink magic”. Fun times.
Fast forward to November of 2025, I had a feeling Lucifer was with me, randomly. I asked him if it’s really him, send me a crow or raven. Two millisecond later four crows cross my vision. I was very scared those next few days. I guess I was going through Christian withdrawals. I had been a pagan for five years, but it was still a lot for me. I ended up telling my mom snd she said I should go to church, which we never did. I did have a feeling Lucifer was with me for longer than I was aware of. I had wanted to practise luciferianism for years, but had been too scared. Slowly I deconstructed my fears from Christianity. And now I have almost no Christian fears surrounding him. I have a deep respect and believe he is a neutral being.
Recently, I have been reaching out to my guardian demon again, and Shes there. Almost exactly as I remember her.
I don’t know if I should have shared this or if it should have remained private, I honestly use Tumblr as a diary cuz I usually get 0-11 likes. Im unknown so I hope this ain’t going to blow up. But anyone who does read this and has a similar experience, please share. I wanna know I’m not the only one.