I’ll be honest. I don’t understand how anyone could think trans guys really have it easier. No, I’m not saying any transfem has it easier. I’m saying that comparing when there’s a government full of people who want us dead is fucking useless.
Despite weirdly popular belief:
Not every trans guy is allowed to pick their haircut growing up. I wasn’t allowed to pick it until I was 16/17 and the first thing I did of course was dye it. The only “choice” I got was growing out my bangs prior to that. Then I got told I couldn’t because they got in my eye(duh step bitch, they’re growing). I wasn’t allowed to cut it until I was 18.
Not every trans guy is allowed to dress how they want to growing up. One time I asked for men’s jeans and used pockets as an excuse(I had to find an excuse. If that says anything). I was called every slur possible for a teen girl wanting to look more masculine. It wasn’t until I got control of my bank account that I finally got my first pair of men’s jeans.
When I told my first therapist that I was starting to question being trans back like freshman year, I was told I just needed to be more confident and “well you’re in therapy. That means you’re not mentally stable enough for that, just stay a girl…Maybe take a cooking class.” *and imagine that in the most belittling tone*
Even after transitioning, and this isn’t including rape threats or the physical abuse I’ve gone through, I haven’t been left alone. There’s no magic moment society saw me as a man because they never have. Half the time not even friends take you serious, and you let them. Because by that point you’ve been pushed away by the guys(fear of rape and constantly being treated as a woman) and you’re not allowed to join the girls anymore where you were safe before. Suddenly you have to find somewhere completely new. Then you find other trans people. You watch people call testosterone a hell drug, watch them call a Tdick disgusting, watch them call all transmascs rapists and “little nazis”…and all you can do is sink down and just accept that sometimes you’re meant to be alone. You’re told speaking up for yourself is putting someone else down.
Adulthood~
Context break: I was homeless for three years and unable to get testosterone, even a year plus on it and I’m misgendered by everyone. I just refuse to cut my hair again. Okay, context break is over.
The amount of times I’ve had guys talk over me. I had a guy running a camp site completely unwilling to talk to me until I got my “father and husband back over” because my step dad and boyfriend had gone to grab a couple things. I had been the one directing everyone in the site. Then he ignored me to talk to them. That was literally the last time I went camping only like two years ago(you should have seen his face when they both turned to me to ask what I thought we should do next. His face was red). Literally the only time it’s a good thing is when I can get AutoZone to change my windshield wipers for me by acting like I don’t know. I don’t know if I can still do that after this long on T.
When I correct someone on my pronouns, oh they say the right ones…but you hear the tone. They may as well be patting you on the head and telling you that you’re an unstable woman. Hell, one time I trusted someone enough to come out. They were nice until then. Then they looked at my, at the time, dyed hair and lip ring and went “makes sense”. Suddenly they stopped calling me by he/him because they stopped seeing me as a man.
The fucker literally explained what ancient debris was while I was wearing full enchanted netherite *I* collected, made, and enchanted while he was begging my mom to build for him. What in the mansplaining uselessness was he?
And these are “normal” experiences for us. Maybe not the therapist. I wish I’d known enough to like turn her in for a lot of shit, but still. This isn’t even going into the heavily triggering shit. This is like the basic shit every trans masc nods to when you talk about it.
I feel like this when into a ramble, but the girl I was deserves to be heard to…I can’t pretend her life was perfect or our transition was perfect just so I don’t “overshadow” a woman’s trauma. She was a woman, and he is never being told to shut up again.