#m!alpha

[pack-the-pack]

The Alpha Experience

So. It's not that I think that we have too much Omega content. But I sometimes think that the perception on Alphas is a bit too one dimensional due to a lack of content focusing on Alphas.

I'm Misce and Alpha so I thought about giving a little bit of perspective. It'll be all anecdotal from my life and other Alphas I personally know and thus won't apply to all Alphas.

Alas, I thought sharing it would be good anyway. Maybe it'll give you inspiration or a little more perspective.

• Always a giver, seldom a receiver: I think most Alphas are, by nature, deep wells of emotion. Be that for better or worse. This means that Alphas are often freely givers of care, love and affection. And this sucks a lot if they wear their heart on their sleeve, because the world is, at large, not reciprocal. I truly believe most Alphas are wired to be pack oriented. They don't fare well in solitude and this tendency to give more than they receive from others can pose a big problem to their mental health. It can be mostly mitigated with managing expectations and learning to be less emotionally reliant on others. But I don't think most Alphas are well equipped or even suited to operate in this highly individualistic society we have. Their quality of life can improve with enough professional aid and managing their own world view, but it'll never be ideal. It is not what their instincts demand. Alphas are meant to run and protect a pack. With no pack, their mental health suffers.

• Most Alphas don't have a desire to start pointless fights: I see this a lot in fanfic and Manhwas. Alphas just starting an argument or outright physical fights for no reason other than what? Someone was slightly mean to their partner? Most well regulated Alphas have no desire to be arrested for small grievances. We would rather take action to avoid things escalating, providing alternatives and solutions, putting ourselves in harm's way to stop someone else getting injured or hurt, than just jump on the first motherfucker that messes up around us or our loved ones. This is not something we do. We don't walk around expecting the world to cower at the sight of us and dare not strike. We walk knowing it will, and that if we want to take care of who we love we need to take measures to avoid major damage.

• We are devoted lovers: The vast majority of Alphas I know are not emotionally distant, stoic and aloof when it comes to their partner(s). Quite the opposite actually. Most of us are graduated in the Gomez Addams school of affection lmao. Like stated before, we have a lot of deep emotions, and we ache to share them. It'd be ideal to share them with many people in many different ways, but our society being individualistic and amatonormative to its own detriment, often times that means all the love and attention the Alpha has goes to their partner. This can be great or it can be awful. Depends on who your partner is. Some may feel over the moon with all the love and devotion. Some may feel suffocated. But the truth to the matter is: If an Alpha loves you, you'll know, rather fast.

• We aren't saints, but no one else is either: I think there's this idea, that if someone is going to be mean and entitled and obnoxious, it's going to be the Alpha, and only the Alpha. Wrong. Incorrect. I'm not saying we aren't these things. We can be these things, as can anyone. It is not exclusive to us. If you're a mean spirited person, your dynamics doesn't matter. You'll suck anyway. Being an Alpha doesn't make your sucking easier or more accepted, if anything it makes it the complete opposite. We're expected to always give all of us selflessly, no matter how much we're taken for granted, so when we mess up or we hurt others, the fault is our and solely ours and we're chastised pretty severely for it. Which is not the type of thing that happens to others. They're "softer" and often don't come off as strong or as intense, so when they hurt us, more often then not it'll be framed as "we got our feelings hurt" and not "they hurt our feelings". Alphas are usually held responsible, be it for hurting or being hurt.

• Alphas can cook, and many enjoy cooking: One of my ways to show I like and care for someone is providing food. Not just buying it, but preparing it. I wouldn't say I love cooking, but I enjoy it enough that I know how to make a couple good dishes. If you want to see me hurt, just refuse the food I made you. And I know that's not a "me" only thing. Other Alphas have this too. Maybe not cooking, I've seen it with nice food they bought also. But refusing food they put care and time into. That's a way to hurt the Alpha in your life almost guaranteed. If we like you we want you to be healthy and strong and well fed. This means quality food. Accept it. Or suffer our suffering hahaha.

• It's not about being stronger than others. It's about feeling in control: Which I know it'll sound dumb and ridiculous to a lot of people cause "control is not real", and I get it. Like you can't control everything in life. But sometimes we need the illusion. Be it in our workout routine and the effects it has on our bodies, or our diets, or our obsessive pursuit of goals or our stubbornness in the face of something that isn't exactly going our way. I think Alphas need some sort of stability to truly thrive, and if that comes in the form of trying to be physically strong in order to try and control variables that are very much outside of our control, then so be it.

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This is what I can think about right now. Any other Alphas feel free to add to this, or disagree or correct me if you think this doesn't represent the Alpha majority.

I honestly want to hear more from other Alphas, and even other non-alpha people's opinions, etc. I think it's nice to talk about it, and I think we should strive to include more multidimensional views on alphas be it in our misce community or in our creative works.

[miscealignment]

✦Maturing as an Alpha - an open letter for myself and other lost Alphas✦

I must admit that, although I stay firm in my beliefs regarding many things when it comes to miscehood and even what to me means to be of a certain dynamics, I nowadays feel I have a more complex and, dare I say, complete understanding of that it means to be an Alpha, and why me personally feel I could not be anything else even if I tried.

In the past I thought many times that a rigid mindset was what made me more Alpha, that I had to live my truth no matter what and that everyone else just couldn't or just refused to see it my way, which was "obviously so much better and made much more sense". But now, in my late 20s, and having lived a whole lot of new and unexpected things, I realize that rigid thinking and stubbornness don't make you a better Alpha, it just makes you a difficult one.

Which seems simple enough when said like this. But obvious doesn't always mean acceptable to many people. And I was no different.

Nowadays, I am able to realize that the strength comes from the choice to be non judgemental, empathetic and able to compromise with the people you care about the most. That growth is not about being "better" but more adaptable, and that many times, caring for someone is not about what you believe or what you care to defend in that moment, but about what that person needs from you at that time.

And yes, there will be limits to that, we all have our limits. There are things we're not willing to compromise or change, otherwise that wouldn't make us adaptable, it would make us fake and disingenuous. But it's not about lying to appease or please others, quite the opposite, is choosing the version of yourself that person needs at that moment, and all the versions are genuine, they're just needed at different moments.

To me Alpha strength is not about control anymore. But it's about compassion, understanding and empathy.

So if you're lost in your own thoughts, and you're hurting in your relationships as an Alpha, be them of whatever nature. Don't obsess over regaining control, just assimilate that control is not the end goal or the answer. A loving nature is.