i wanna curl up into a ball and cry until i can’t anymore

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i wanna curl up into a ball and cry until i can’t anymore
last night i cried because i didn’t wanna grow up 🙃
i just cried today...
it sucks when you've worked so hard to get better just to get worse again
my heart's gone cold
God....I never realized how much “Almost Was” could hurt until now....I’m broken hearted and there’s nothing I can do about it. We’re still friends, but....its awkward.....because the feelings are there between us, but she’s not ready. I respect it and I sure as hell am not gonna push it, but everything I think about doing, I think she’d like it too. And my hearts aching, and it sucks.....someone put me out of my misery.
I should not have to fight as hard as I do to keep people in my life. So no more fighting. If they want me, they'll come and find me. I'm so over all of this bullshit.