#macabre-angst

[atlas-of-galaxies]

keiji and shin being memory dance is so funny please do it

i'm starting to think you guys might like keishin or something

[adrianicsea]

You Cannot say you have thoughts about the heart and then not elaborate 👀

MANNNNN i’ve talked briefly about it before but like. okay cliff note version is this deranged morsel from my notes app and then the painfully long version below that

but like. the issue lawrence is INITIALLY brought into the bathroom game for by john (before we learn about his infidelity via adam) is his lack of passion, compassion, and bedside manner.... literally his lack of heart. he’s told to follow his heart, the thing he allegedly doesn’t have... and it’s not physically within reach of him in the room! the heart, the thing john kramer believes lawrence to be missing, lies across the room with adam!!

and we even see this in the fact that lawrence doesn’t do jackshit in the bathroom until he hears adam wake up and freak out— when lawrence talks to adam for the first time, he sounds calm and lucid, and he shows no sign of wooziness or having just woken up too. which means that lawrence just. sat there in the dark feeling sorry for himself UNTIL he knew there was someone there that needed his help.

towards the end of the whole thing, when lawrence is on the phone with alison, you’ll notice that even THEN he never says that he loves her or that he’s always loved her! what lawrence DOES say is “i’ve always been happy with you” which is... really really lowballing it for the woman you’ve been married to long enough to have a 7-year-old daughter with, especially when you’re under the impression that one or both of you is literally about to die. but that’s a whole other thing on its own honestly.

ANYWAYS throughout the movie we see lawrence doing everything he can do to spare adam’s life and come up with a way to get them both out alive, even though they’re not all that fond of each other! even when lawrence shoots adam he deliberately goes for a spot that he knows is going to LOOK serious to anyone watching, but that won’t be immediately fatal on its own. and even when lawrence is bleeding out and unable to walk and believes that his family might very well be dead, he uses some of his time and energy to come to adam and comfort him. this comes so soon after the “i’ve always been happy with you” exchange between lawrence and alison, too.

of course we all know what happens to adam and lawrence after that. the divorce plays a hand in it, and there’s a lot to be said about lawrence’s lack of self-esteem and self-worth, but like. it seems like a very clear cause and effect chain to me that lawrence leaving adam there, failing to save him, leads lawrence to become an apprentice. it’s so antithetical to his identity as a doctor and his protective instinct that the only way apprenticeship becomes a viable path for lawrence is if he loses or kills his heart.

the real smoking gun in all of this, though, is that we later see in john’s tape that he leaves behind for jill that john CALLS JILL HIS HEART. and while we don’t LEARN this until saw 6 or 7 (unsure which, still haven’t seen any of the hoffman tetralogy), it implies that john still had that understanding and that connotation of heart imagery/hearts as other people when he put together the bathroom trap. and even taking the metatextual view of it, the writers in 2009 or whenever STILL were like “you know the heart motif from the first movie? we should bring that back to talk about this guy and his estranged ex-wife that he still loves.” while reading the rebirth comic (written in 2005, before saw 2 had even released) last night, i even learned that jill was featured in it, and john refers to his divorce from jill as “losing his heart.” so like. idk man it’s all very complex and interwoven and i KNOW the saw franchise desperately wants all of its pieces to rhyme and connect and be part of one big messy intricate web but like. why take the heart, so prominently featured in the first movie to refer to lawrence and adam, and then start co-opting it to associate it with an estranged married couple.

sorry for subjecting yall to All This before 9 in the morning but uh. you asked and i delivered!

[ispyspookymansion]

Is it too late to drop the class youre having trouble with and do another elective? Or is this something you need for your degree?

i could withdraw i guess but its probably too late to join another class and im pretty sure they would retroactively revoke my scholarship for the semester if i went under the credit hour minimum. i really also like. on a spiteful personal level dont see myself doing anything other than whatever it takes to get an A in the class, i am just going to be so stressed the whole time.

[tibby]

Okay I have to ask for clarification, Jarchie is Jughead/Archie right? I don't even watch Riverdale yet I hope that happens. (though sidenote, despite not watching the show I uh. Do actually own Jughead's beanie and wear it regularly. He's a favorite of mine in the comics, I was excited they made the beanie a real thing)

yes!!! jarchie is jughead/archie and the jarchie longcon specifically is the theory that riverdale's entire existence is a fifteen year payback scheme by the creator who once got a cease and desist letter for wanting to make a gay archie play.

[werewolfoffeverswamp]

I see youre coming back to being into Saw again 👀

NO LITERALLY I FELT IT COMING ON LIKE THE FLU

its been on my mind so much recently and now i want to go back and watch all of them aughhhh ough

[frienderbender]

Idk if youre still taking requests (and if youre not then thats chill and feel free to ignore this) but if you are, could we maybe get some skwisgaar and pickles hanging out? I love seeing them together and you draw them sooo well

just for you :]

[romanromulus]

Hey so this is random and out of the blue but! I was thinking about Strahm Dies again and I just wanted to say, idk how much like, research you did for the fic, or if you were writing some stuff from experience knowledge, but that bit in the beginning where you wrote about like pressure sores?? That bit was Really well done and like, actually served really well for me personally to understand how Fucked Peter was in this story. I actually work in a nursing home setting and have seen that kinda stuff first hand and know how serious it can get, so to see it so accurately portrayed in a story was like "wow okay this actually makes a Lot more sense with how badly this authors trying to convey the situation is" and I just wanted to tell you that you did really good with that particular bit of the writing~

hi I love random and out of the blue! I’ve been kinda overwhelmed lately so I’ve been slow with replies but FIRST OFF I wanted to thank you again for your support of my fic. I made a post on here after I finished writing Strahm Dies where I talked about how conflicted I felt about the story, but hearing your thoughts and seeing your fanart has really changed my tune. You’ve helped me take a step back and assess the fic more objectively and I have a lot more appreciation for it now. So! Thank you for making me proud of Strahm Dies!!!

Anyway, on to your ask. I did write from personal experience! I’m a nurse, so yeah we both know pressure sores are Not Pretty. I’ve always had a particular distaste for them because they seem like they’re the body’s way of kicking someone when they’re already down (literally), which sort of ties into an aspect of the story that I enjoyed playing up—how Strahm is mostly unable to accept the severity of his situation but how his body knows exactly how dire things really are. He’s just constantly in this push/pull with his body and the sliver of his mind that can accept reality—aka the other Strahm—on one side and his denial on the other.

I’m glad that section of the fic worked for you because I remember I actually considered cutting it out. It seemed like it was a Lot very early on in the fic. Ultimately tho I kept it in exactly because of what you said, it definitely served to warn the reader Hey I’m Not Fucking Around Here.

Thank you for popping in my friend!!! You’re always welcome here <3

[silenthillmutual]

Daniil/Grief for the ship asks?

Whether I ship it or not

Yes!!

Why I ship it or not

I think they have a kind of chemistry in classic in that I think Grief is flirty with Daniil and Daniil is pretty flirty with a lot of people. I also ship it because I would love to see interactions between them in Patho 2 and hope some more people will write them interacting. Daniil has this comment in Marble Nest about dreaming of being felt up like a common thief and I know it's sarcasm but by god I would like to see Grief's reaction to that. Grief is such a chaotic bisexual and Daniil has such wonderful interactions with people that I can't wait to see them interact when Bachelor route comes out.

My opinion on their canon potential

There's not much there in Patho 2 yet because we haven't seen them interact beyond Grief referring to him in conversation once. I doubt very seriously there's going to be any canon romance in Patho 2 anyway, like that's not really the focus of the game. But in Classic when they meet ooooh... there's a lot of taunting I definitelu read as flirtatious. Maybe Daniil would be reluctant to be seen around Grief but I think Grief would show up to where he is to flirt with him. I did write them having a sort of fwb thing for a bit in a fic but I should write them more sometime for fun.... things to do while I wait for Bachelor route.

My opinion on fanon interpretations

I have barely seen any fandom consideration for them as a pair and it's a shame! Generally speaking for characters way over-exaggerate Daniil's morality (like... he's morally gray... not evil... c'mon) and woobify Grief (in part bc of his Patho 2 incarnation) and it's like. Idk just give me the nuance!!! They can both be and are really complex characters like that's what I love about Patho as a media and I wish people would quit flattening it out.