#made in hell

[longhairvixen]

[pallor-parlor]

Hell sent, heavenly bodied

[lilithisthedevil]

[hermiola]

Made in Hell: Matchmaking Agency

❤️‍🔥 A GO Rom-Com AU (Rated E) ❤️‍🔥

💜 Chapter 8/11 💜

After yet another disastrous date, Aziraphale Fell is ready to throw in the towel and resign himself to the solitary existence he doesn’t mind all that much. Enter Anthony J. Crowley, matchmaker extraordinaire, who bets Aziraphale the 100% success rate of Made in Hell, his matchmaking agency, that he can find him a suitable match in no time. After all, Crowley is a consummate professional with a troubled dating history who has learned from his past mistakes and has sworn off love himself: he’s certainly not going to fall for the charms of an extremely fussy bookseller… or is he? Between dubious romantic prospects, far too much meddling, ridiculous antics and a developing connection, Made in Hell’s success rate might not be the only thing on the line here.

Chapter 8/11: The Loophole (10.7k)

Jim’s expansiveness and solid logic push Crowley and Aziraphale much closer than expected.

❤️‍🔥 Read here on AO3 ❤️‍🔥

💜 Start From The Beginning 💜

Excerpt from Chapter 8:

“Jim here was kind enough to proposition me for sex,” Aziraphale continued, voice pitched higher than usual, as Crowley enjoyed a silent stroke next to him, “but I told him I can’t.” “Didn’t tell me why though,” said Jim with a blinding smile and not even the barest trace of disappointment. Crowley turned to Jim, his smile assuming an almost dangerous quality. “He doesn’t owe you an explanation, big guy.” “Of course not! I was just curious. Free love, right?” Aziraphale opened and closed his mouth several times before he attempted to speak again. “I told you I was waiting for Crowley,” he eventually uttered as though it pained him to say. Crowley couldn’t really blame him since his lungs had stopped working and he currently could not remember how one was supposed to form words to convey meaning to other people. He sincerely hoped his sharp smile still qualified as one. Aziraphale seemed to be faring marginally better, because he sneaked an anxious glance in his direction and mouthed what looked like, ‘Trust me.’ Warmth spread from Crowley’s chest to the rest of his body as he straightened his spine, shifted even closer to Aziraphale’s side and instinctively tried to exude a confidence he sure as hell wasn’t feeling at the moment. If nothing else, Jim seemed to get the hint. “Oh! Because you’re already having sex with him?” Aziraphale blushed hopelessly and Crowley wondered if his own hair hadn’t caught fire after all. (Pasty human candle my arse…) “Yeah,” he heard himself say, the irritation caused by the memory of Jim’s humiliating description from earlier in the day giving him the necessary strength to pull through. “We are.” Jim didn’t miss a beat. “Can I join?” Aziraphale huffed and grabbed Crowley’s hand to yank him firmly to his side. (Warm and soft.) “I’m afraid not.” “Why not? We’re in international waters!” Jim argued enthusiastically. “Anything goes when you’re in international waters. It’s a– blimey, what does Gabriel call it?” Crowley and Aziraphale shared a look while Jim pondered over it. Aziraphale’s stormy grey eyes were shining like anything, his pink cheeks basically begging to be nibbled on and his lips red where he’d worried them with his teeth. A whole silent conversation went on between them, though Aziraphale was doing most of the talking (the gist was, ‘thank you for playing along’), while Crowley hadn’t got much to contribute but a never-ending stream of consonants (‘ngkknknggngkngkgkg’). In his defence, he did take it upon himself to lace their fingers together, giving Aziraphale’s hand an encouraging squeeze as he begged his own brain to overlook the very inconsequential detail that they were now holding hands.  (Very warm and very soft.) “A loophole!” Jim cried out, making them startle back to attention. “That’s what it’s called. Laws do not apply when you’re in international waters, monogamy included!” 

[zillahdark]

[fading-in-to-you]

😈

[balenciajablast]

[thotslayerdio]

evil queen be like we won't rock you