I cried while writing this, so basically this is a warning that this one shot is intense and will most likely make you cry.
enjoy!111!!!!!1 xoxox**!11!1!
"You sure that's it?" Your friend asks, putting a hand to her hip and glancing around the empty house.
You smile and nod, "Yep! That's it, thank you." You give her a sad smile, "For everything."
She smiles walking over to wrap your now excessively skinny frame in a hug.
"It's no problem, I just want you to be happy." She squeezes you, then puts her hands on your shoulders. "Get better, kid."
You nod, smiling.
She grins back, and lets out a small sigh. "I'll see you around."
You nod again, tired of making conversation.
She smiles once before slipping out the front door closing it gently behind her.
You stare blankly at the white carpet until you hear her truck tires pull away, then the screams start.
You let out everything that you've kept inside for the past two months.
You punch the wall, a whole of dry wall and paint covering your hand and the floor.
You feel the cuts arise on your hand, blood seeping from them as you slide down the wall.
"It's not fair," You whisper, sobs starting to shake you.
You weren't always such a sad cause, in fact, before the accident you weren't ever like this.
Sure, you had off days. Everyone does.
The accident.
It had crushed every dream you ever had.
You remember blood, glass, black car parts flying, but not much else.
Waking up, you remember that.
It was like being tossed into a pit of fire while still being awake. The nurses tried, they tried to calm you down.
They told you he'd be fine.
But they lied. And he wasn't 'fine.'
Someone who had massive brain damage can't be described as fine.
Madison.
That was his name, before he..
Died.
You could still remember his deep voice filling the rooms of this house, now the silence mocked those memories.
You stare blankly at the creme walls, wishing you could knock them down, and tear every board in the house apart.
Your hand bleed freely, staining the white carpet a dark scarlet.
You look down at it, clenching and un-clenching it.
Every bandaid you had was packed in a box somewhere, you shrug slightly, - who really was going to care?
You lift yourself off of the floor, going over to the last box left in the house.
Searching through it you grab the dark blue leather diary.
You run your thumb over the page edges, closing your eyes to hide the tears.
"I miss you." You said, to no one, yet one person in particular. You open the diary to a random page, an envelope fluttering out and landing on the ground quietly.
You look down at the yellowing envelope, a confused look crossing your face as you bend down to pick it up.
You flip it over, your name written in the familiar scrawl, your heart pumped faster as you flick it open with your finger.
Your name is written again, addressing you to start the letter.
"If you're reading this, one of two things has happened.
By some grace of god, I've handed you my diary. Cherish that moment.
Or, something worse. And if that's happened, I'm sorry I left you earlier than planned.
I'm writing this across the room from you, and you look gorgeous.
You'll never believe me on that, and I kind of don't want you, too.
I want you to continue to be stubborn for the rest of your life.
It's one of those qualities I love about you. I don't think you'll ever realize how much I love you.
It's a lot.
I want to ask you to marry me, but I just.. I can never get it out of myself except when I'm facing the mirror, - maybe I'd just rather just marry him!
I'm kidding.
Do you remember the first night I dropped you off, at your parents?
And I had been such a nervous wreck the entire night that I accidentally tipped water over on the restaurant's table, all you did was smile and laugh.
I almost lost it when you laughed, it was the greatest sound I'd ever heard.
And to this day, when you laugh my heart still jumps a beat.
I love you, I really do.
And whatever I did, to mess up and land you reading this, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for all the nights you probably spent crying over me, I'm not worth your tears.
I'm barely worth your dirtiest glance.
But, I want you to know one thing, if what I purpose happened, happened,
I'll love you forever.
Don't forget me, don't forget the dances I taught you, the smiles we shared, the late nights drinking when we should've been studying, don't ever forget those.
And don't stop living. Instead, start living.
A new beginning.
I love you.
I don't think I'll ever get sick of saying that!
And I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing it, - from you, that is.
I don't really know how to end this, I'm not good with endings.
I never have been, never will be.
I guess the only thing I really can end with is what I've said probably what must feel like a million times in this letter.
I love you.
Always will.
-Mad. x"
You get up from your knees, not realizing you'd fallen to them.
A heavy flow of tears stream from your eyes, burning them.
You wiped them away with your sleeve, staring at the letter.
The letter was corny and awkward, just like him.
It made you miss him even more.
And it scared you, because he had spoken about new beginnings, but you had no clue how to begin again.
You stare down at the letter, almost asking it what to do.
You look back to the journal, a picture of the two of you - Madison posing awkwardly while you gave the camera a horrid face.
You plucked it from the spine, chuckling even through the tears.
You flipped it over, curious to the caption Madison must've put on it.
Surprisingly, it's nothing witty, just a town's name in Texas with the word, 'GO' scrawled under it.
You nod at the photo, slipping it and the letter back into the diary.
You load the box into the moving truck slipping into the front seat and making your way for Alice, Texas.
