#madtulis

[icesokun]

; kamu

saya tengah duduk berehat, dalam memikir mana salahnya setiap satu, sampai saya hilangnya insan yang saya gelar ; kamu

[icesokun]

kucing oren, miawnya garang

kucing tompok, misainya panjang

kucing putih, bulunya lembut

kucing dijalanan, matanya sayu

sepertinya tidak tahu,

bila lagi makanan diberi manusia yang lalu

[icesokun]

those nights I spent not able to sleep, are the price I pay for the hearts I’ve wounded.

3 am, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

4 am, you asked, “for which one?”

6 am, I questioned, “how many hours do I still owe you?”

7 am, your voice faded into murmurs, “until time itself ceased to matter”

[icesokun]

i miss the cats, and maybe your presence. and maybe your good morning kiss, maybe your unfinished coffee drinks. and maybe your piles of clothes. and maybe your snore (i doubt it) and maybe our usuals tomyam place. and maybe the time we spend so much to find whos at fault?

did i say sorry too much or too little?

did you forgive so fast but never let me forget?

did we ever become us?

[icesokun]

empat tahun 3 bulan yang sekarang, aku khabarkan aku percaya— menjadi satu itu tidak perlu bedua.

19 September 2023

[icesokun]

glass of water

talking to you, was like having a glass of water pressed over a pile of papers, while it does do the job from getting the papers fly away— the possibilities for the glass to trip over and drench the sets of paper underneath it, aroused me. unconsciously, i want the papers to be wet, i want all of my works gone, and later tell myself, it was all worth it—I want you to notice that I was nervous, my words are slipping away.

Tue, 25th of October in Arau.

[icesokun]

Sam see you.

Ibu kabo, harus sayang semua,

Kucing, makcik buta jual tisu, apa sahaja di atas dunia

Bila ibu tinggalkan semua, termasuk saya

Saya belajar untuk sayang semua—

Kucing, makcik buta jual tisu, apa sahaja di atas dunia

Dan yang tiada—

Ibu. 

Alfatihah buat arwah onyang yang sudah 4 tahun pergi meninggalkan kami. Boy rindu onyang <3

[icesokun]

tujuh hari satu minggu

tujuh hari satu minggu yang lepas, aku khabarkan aku tidak percaya,

aku khabarkan aku tidak mahu apa-apa. dalam diam jeda ciuman dan bau sigeret, aku sorok perasaan takut yang kau hanya datang untuk kau pergi.

tujuh hari satu minggu malam tadi, engkau tidak.

terima kasih tapi kenapa you selalu tak habiskan udon family mart :(