#mae-isms

[justxez]

LYRICS. ( 5 - 10 lyrics from songs that remind you of your muse )

I. [english translation] "I wasn't myself -- it became dangerous / Acts that others wanted weren't true to me / Those that simulate the truth are only accepted for a short time / I pleased everyone - everyone should love me / Didn't see the demons that drove me to it / Was captured and no longer free and that broke me" — ( LIED VOM SCHEITERN - die ärzte )

II. "When you've fallen on the highway / And you're lying in the rain / And they ask you how you're doing / Of course you say you can't complain / If you're squeezed for information / That's when you've got to play it dumb: / You just say you're out there waiting / For the miracle, for the miracle to come" — ( WAITING FOR THE MIRACLE - Leonard Cohen )

III. [english translation] "I don’t want to fear death, nor life / I want to be free, be alone, and still give you something / Want excess without guilt, and as white as the light / And no blood and no blues when the day breaks / And when I come home, everything is forgotten / At your chest beneath which / The wind strokes through the branches / Like the eternal whisper of time / Is fate kind to us? / The pasture remains silent" — ( DIE WEIDE - Die Andere Seite )

IV. "A violent open sore / Carved out hollow / A suicidal lost cause / Cry me / Cry me a river / The beat goes on and on / Where you slither / Done with love / Murder my heart / Spit in my face / Shatter shatter / All you want is / Rid of me / A side effect / Of being sick of we / Murder my heart / Stabbed in the back / Liar liar / Fall to pieces / Watch me crack" — ( MURDER MY HEART - KMFDM )

V. "Midnight and the moon is out / Careful, you might hurt yourself / Pleasure leads to pain / To me, they're both the same / Sweat drippin' down to the floor / Bite marks like an animal / You might be insane / But maybe we're the same / Tonight you came here / 'Cause you know what I need / And no one likes to be alone" — ( GIMME WHAT I WANT - Miley Cyrus )

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[justxez]

Some Mae headcanons that I came up with/are reminded of when writing my current "Achtsam Morden / Murder Mindfully" canon-based-AU-fanfiction-with-Mae-in-it that also apply to her general verse:

Mae's afraid of heights (yes, even horses)

Mae doesn't have a home - technically she does, but I like using it as a plot device to never mention her home (it's also fun for me to have her just move in with the people she trusts/loves)

Mae did Interrail in Europe as well as sometime later the Camino de Finisterre / Muxía in her post-adolescence before finishing her education

Mae's clothing style is usually casual/business casual with high quality clothing pieces that last long (keira knightley's & kerri russel's street style would be a visual if needed). The only time she wears black in black is when it's better for her to not be seen.

Mae has Austrian roots – she inherited a talent for ‘sudern’ (grumbling or complaining in a charming, stubborn way, usually never insulting). She’s never lost the knack and only openly displays it either when alone or with people she really trusts.

Mae sleeps on both sides of the bed (if it's bigger than a Single/Twin bed). If the bed is shared the other could either cuddle/lays ontop of her, push her aside or resigns and sleep elsewhere.

Mae's favorite color is cyan or petrol (it switches often between these two).

Mae, though she works with a wide range of other mental health issues, specializes in working with people who experience psychosis - such as those diagnosed with schizophrenia or delusional disorder. Her interest in psychosis isn’t just professional - it’s personal because she had to endure it second-hand.

Mae, when working as a psychologist, follows a methodology based on having informal conversations. She avoids taking notes or making recordings in front of clients (unless absolutely necessary i.e. during assessments), but after each session, she carefully documents everything in detail.

Mae's top favorite animals would be wolves, sharks, rats and crows.

Mae enjoys taking care of plants. She's very nonchalant about it, doing the minimum yet usually all the plants survive (she jokingly says it's because they feel either her love for them or are afraid of her - which is why they thrive & survive)

Mae’s birthday is January 9 - not by coincidence, but in quiet homage to the Roman god Janus and his feast day, the Agonium, honoring duality and the eternal balance of opposites. My thoughts for her is that, January symbolizes inner change, surrendering control, and trusting that what rests will still find a way to thrive.

[justxez]

Hot take but one of my real-life paragons in forensic psychology said that she approaches her work with one thing in mind: all perpetrators ultimately want to be loved, and they commit their acts in an attempt to fulfill that wish - no matter how distorted it may seem to the rest of us. They all want love, and they'd do anything to get it.

And I'm just sitting here like...

this is exactly Mae's POV when it comes to her psychological work.

i will not elaborate further.