Maid: The Role-Playing Game is a comedic take on a uniquely Japanese cultural icon: The fetishized modern maid. Injecting the concept of Maid with 50ccs of anime and comedy, the players take on the roles of maids, serving the master (played by the GM). Sheets are left unfolded and mantelpieces undusted when giant robots crash through the mansion, ninjas attack and kidnap the young master, and a demonic pit to Hell opens up in the pantry… and all before teatime!
MAID RPG is an incredibly interesting game from a design standpoint for multiple reasons but number one is my favourite mechanic of all time: you can spend what amounts to your experience points to roll a Random Bullshit Thing To Happen. Off of the devoted Random Bullshit Event tables.
This breaks so many assumptions about player behaviour in games in half. I've seen games of Maid where it was nothing but everyone gaining Favor to then immediately turn around and roll stupid events at a rate of like one every ten minutes of play. In a campaign where one would assume that SOME long term investment would be a good idea. Nope. Random bullshit go!
Dias Tirés Rebolt - 32 year old sickly loli, allegedly a maid for bridal training, is a delinquent and has tattoos (@mimeo-tan)
Elise Dawnsoul - Chuuni 16 year old, became a contract killer and later a maid because of her parent's gambling debts (@maiden-of-blades)
Dostoevsky - Alien shapeshifter, blue skin, maid because ??? (@nimbasa-c0re)
Dahlia Deathsin - (1X +-3) years old Illegitimate catgirl half sister of the master, has burns and a missing eye from various assassination attempts (@yukification)
and…
Prince Deparr Deathsin - 1X year old 2nd legitimate child of the evil emperor seeking to conquer the world in the name of the Evil Organization. Also, a bishounen and otaku (this is why his servants are maids instead of respectable henchwomen…) (Me!!!!!)
(content warnings you'd expect from this case (incest, age gap) but nothing too severe I don't think. Ended up at TV ecchi anime levels and not like, hentai OVA. This time.)
and then we started the game!
On a normal day, Deparr would be plotting to finally DESTROY Masked Squadron Galaxy Five, his father's greatest enemies and only real threat to destroying the world!
…but for the next week or so, they're all on some kind of "summer vacation" and off fighting his sister instead. She's getting a whole movie with a higher effects budget and everything.
So instead Prince Deathsin is inclined to spend all day moping in bed, and it's up to his loyal servants to get his spirits up. Or not. Who knows.
Before anything, we see where the four maids were at around 7:30 AM:
Dias was trying to get a normal cup of orange juice (no alchohol! for sure!) from the bar
Elise was in the dining area cleaning, like some sort of actual maid. Even if her thoughts were occasionally about various anime heroines instead.
Dostoevsky was sweeping the balcony overlooking the pool, pushing dust onto...
Dahlia, who was slacking by the pool. As she tends to do.
And then at 8 AM all of them heard the chime, and knew it was time for the master to be roused from bed. Not that all of them cared.
Still, Dostoevsky attempted to wake up Deathsin, but failed. He was awake, but only glared at her. Why get up at all?
Elise tried next, and managed to actually encourage him awake. This pep talk was surprisingly successful, and he did get out of bed and get dressed (in sweat pants and a tee-shirt, but he's bishounen enough that it worked. Collarbone showing and everything, very lewd.)
At the same time, Dahlia sees a black blur run past the pool and into the mansion, and follows it to the bar, where Dias sees the same black blur as it lands on the counter as a cat! Before the cat can start knocking bottles off the bar, Dias and Dahlia manage to catch it, and despite it's protests Dias keeps a hold of it, naming him 'Redien Diabolíc VII'
Soon after Dostoevsky and Elise also enter the kitchen, and everyone except Dias helps make pancakes and coffee for their master after he finishes his morning work.
Cooking goes well, everyone is introduced to the cat - which to Elise's surprise is not a pet of the master, but some kind of stray? Or perhaps a spy (according to Dahlia) - and the master's mood improved slightly.
Unfortunately, at that moment a heat wave hits, and suddenly work is much harder…
Because of the heat, Dias ends up bringing Prince Deathsin to the cooler with Redien, and they spend some time there together. Meanwhile, Elise attempts to work through the heat, and Dostoevsky literally melts next to the pool. Dahlia's also there, slacking off once again.
Eventually, Deathsin decides it's time to swim, and has Dias (who's only following him because the cat seems to like him, but he doesn't know that) pick out his swimsuit. She picks something very modest, but his pure bishie energy makes this too work. Dias changes to a one-piece maid swimsuit as well, and Elise independantly decides she'll go for a swim too (changing into a maid bikini).
As Deathsin, Dias and Elise arrive to the pool, Dahlia dives underwater to hide and Dostoevsky stands at attention before going to change as well. While Elise waits for Dahlia to run out of water and come up, Prince Deathsin jumps in…
And slams right into Dahlia as she comes up for air, grabbing at her as he tries not to drown. In response, she chews him out and tosses him out of the pool. Ouch.
(Meanwhile, Dias is swimming normally, and Redien is stuck on a waveboard trying not to fall in.)
Right at that moment, Dostoevsky returns in her "swimsuit" - basically just a maid themed set of pasties - and barrels through everyone, knocking Deparr back in, bringing Elise with her, and knocking Dias out in the pool.
(Redien escapes, to parts unknown…)
But before anyone can react to that - and most importantly, before Dahlia can yell at her too - a red dot appears on Prince Deathsin's head. Dahlia recognizes this as a laser sight and throws her half brother out of the pool again, this time pulling him away before the sniper can take the shot
Then, as they run, the shot is fired and explodes, damaging everyone's clothing
Dias has a hole torn in the back of her swimsuit, Elise's bikini threatens to burst as it's generally disheveled, Dostoevsky loses one (1) pasty, and Dahlia manages to block Prince Deathsin from harm in a way that tears open the front of her (still soaking wet) uniform
(Deathsin is unharmed, but the blast manages to destroy his swimsuit in a way that reduces it perfectly to a pair of swim briefs)
And then Dahlia pulls Deathsin with her into the pool shed, and - having somehow gone from flat to extremely busty the moment her top was opened - fails to have a conversation without him looking away
Annoyed and trying to convince him there's literally nothing weird about it - they're siblings, evil jesus christ, don't be gross - puts his hand on her boob
Aaaaaand successfully rolls to seduce him. Yay!
Cutting away from that, Elise successfully shoots the sniper - sent by the [Country Name] government to try and kill an evil organization executive while the heroes were away - while Dostoevsky cleans up the mess. Dias, for her part (and having returned to her normal uniform), stumbles on the shed and opens the door...
To see Dahlia on top of Deparr, close enough that his face is basically fully in her boobs while she lectures him. He's far too embarassed to do anything but blush at this point.
Dias gestures wildly to try and explain how indecent this is/how surprising it is that Dahlia suddenly has boobs, and eventually Dahlia gets up and goes to get changed. Prince Deathsin follows suit, while Elise does the same with her own ruined bikini.
Dostoevsky does not change, and instead goes straight to the kitchen to make a late lunch (scary anime cooking purple slop soup) while still basically naked (but only one blue nipple is exposed, so does it really count…?)
At the same time, Dias tries and fails to make a sandwich, and ends up tearing her own uniform and covered in suggestive white fluid (mayonnaise)
Right after that, Dostoevsky has her try the scary soup - offered like this:
And the others all walk in to see...
Her legitimately ahegao from just how good it was, while Dostoyevsky drops to the floor in disappointment - that's fine, but she expected more!
Then the others - reluctantly - all try in turn, and have similar reactions
Elise also food-wars-style orgasms from it, and only stops her clothes from exploding by sheer force of will (but another failure...)
Dahlia tries it - just to make sure it's not poisoned - and is soo affected she leaves a puddle on the ground (the first successful soup seduction!!!)
And Deathsin tries it and is so overcome with emotion he kisses Dostoevsky - before Dias throws a tantrum to bring him back to decency (close, but no seduction this time)
Then Dostoevsky tries her own soup and. Eh. It's fine.
After that, everyone awkardly finishes the pot of soup together, and the rest of the day (cleaning, Deparr working, and dinner) proceed relatively normally (i.e. were skipped)
Until! Bathtime…
Normally Deparr, y'know, bathes alone - he's not that much of a pervert, to ask his servants to join him - although he does get assistance undressing
(Dahlia, for some reason, insists on being the one to do it this time)
While he attempts to relax (with Radien joining him, for some reason? But that's fine, it's just a cat ^_^) Dias bursts in and innocently argues with him to wash her back
Eventually he agrees, and something about her is almost seductive…
Until Dostoevsky bursts through the (already bursted through and now closed) door! (censored only by steam and Radien blocking the camera)
(Dahlia is also watching (as she has in the past before trying to kill Deparr - which is ofc normal) and getting annoyingly distracted by him being handsome, and Elise is peeping at the door for fun (as one does))
Anyway, Dahlia also joins in preventing Dias's seduction attempt - which she's now going all out and spending favor on - and ends up flipping the Prince over again...
And hurts him enough to cause a stress explosion!
His is "Spoiled Child", so he starts whining at her about how mean she is and the two end up wrestling. Dahlia trounces him (using her maid power "Ultimate Retort"), and ends up spanking him in front of everyone! Damn.
This is so distracting that Dahlia is the only one who notices as Radien jumps into the hot bath water, and in his place rises… Another catgirl! Covered in a bodysuit, and wielding a sword!!
She introduces herself as Katarina Purrsuant, and rants about how she's spent all day waiting to kill Deparr as revenge for the Evil Organization's conquest of her home - helped by collaborators, one of whom ended up being Dahlia's mother - and swings for the Prince!
…But Dahlia easily defends him and Elise (with her maid power "Coercion") strips her, tearing her top open!
Dostoevsky tries to land a flying kick (with Dahlia's help) as a finishing blow, but Dias stops them, causing both Dahlia and Dostoevsky to slip while she hugs Kataraina - or rather, Radien, who's still her new cat even if he's a human girl now for some reason.
Katarina tries to escape, but Dias keeps her bound as everyone else grabs at her. In the tussle she accidentally activates the showers on the side of the large bath and (following Ranma rules) becomes a cat again. At this point she gives up, and lets Dias cuddle her.
The enemy is defeated, Deparr is shaken out of his stress explosion, and it's time for everyone to wrap up for the night…
(Oh, and also while Dahlia gropes Deparr and Dostoevsky under the guise of cleaning she almost gets seduced by Elise by way of a single butt tap, but doesn't quite)
Epilogue scenes:
Dias cuddles with Radien - sometimes in catgirl form, sometimes in cat form - who's given up on resisting. By the time she goes to bed (still hugging the cat) Radien's been collared and is compeltely defeated
Dahlia crosses out all her seduction plans to get into power within the Deathsin family and writes up a new one - Seduction…
(she also fantasizes about Dostoevsky some)
And finally, the winners of the favor race get the final scene…
Dostoevsky reacts as her UFO lands, and she holds out her hand to Elise offering her a ride…
(once again like this:)
…before Prince Deathsin says that Elise can't go, because he need ss someone to be an actual maid around here
(Also, the evil organization is probably(?) from space, so it's not like she can't just go later)
Dostoevsky calls off the UFO, Deathsin pays off Elise's family's gambling debts
(vaguely promoting gambling so it's still evil!! he'll even throw a pachinko monster at the heroes when they come back)
