Jun 29, 2015
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LET'S WRITE KALESHA FANFIC TOGETHER! I START AND YOU CONTINUE UNDERNEATH!
The kale glanced across the room. It caught the eyes of a sexy man standing silently in the corner.
Real photo! No photo shop used! OTP OFFICIALLY CANON!
50 Shades of Kale: the Sequel
Written by Nina aka JAT/jensenacklestho
Misha performed his mating ritual, in which he envelopes his significant other in his body and shakes vigorously. The two shook vigorously for hours. Love and lust filled the air. They rubbed their naked naked bodies against each other affectionately. They kissed and danced and did everything in between, and when the time came, when the sun rose and Misha was about to be late for his job at the elopus adoption center, the two said their goodbyes and waited patiently for six o’clock, when Misha would returned and they would be able to do it all over again.
Misha glanced across the room in curiosity. His eyes caught the sight of a silhouetted green figure. He was unsure of what it was, but he was sure that it was beautiful. He made his way across the room eagerly. His heart beat faster, his mind raced, and he could smell a saccharine odor emitting from the figure unlike any other. The counter was covered with a variety of sweet and succulent fruits and vegetables, but there was something about the green leaves that drew Misha’s attention. He inched closer to it in wonder. What was so special about the plant? He did not know. But he was determined to find out.
Misha reached for the plant, wondering how it would feel in his his fragile hands. Conclusion: soft. The silky leaves brushed against his skin satisfyingly. He stroked it as he pondered. This vegetable was beautiful and it felt like silk marinated in rainbows. What would it taste like? He held it up to his eager lips before he realised that these mysterious leaves were that of a kale plant. He immediately lowered the kale from his mouth in an abrupt movement, disgusted of what he had just done. For shame, he almost ate a kale. He felt dishonorable, how could he have made such an ignorant action?
The kale sat limp and afraid on the counter. Misha had to regain it’s trust. But how? He wondered how he would’ve felt if someone had tried to eat him. No one should have to feel that way. Not even a vegetable. He picked up the kale again. Hugging it and whispering apologetically. He stroked it with such care that the kale stroked him back. They sat, stroking each other silently until night fall.
Misha noticed an unidentifiable feeling build inside of him. He did not understand what was happening to him. He heart raced and his palms became sweaty. He felt something in his stomach. Butterflies, perhaps? No. Not butterflies. Moths. Moths. He turned his head towards the kale once more and it was like he was seeing it for the first time. And in that moment, he understood his feelings. He was in love.
Suddenly, the kale felt heavier in his grasp. He was nervous… Should he make the first move? Or the second move? The sixteenth? Should he make a move at all? When even is the appropriate time to make a move? WHAT IF BEAVERS ARE ACTUALLY JELLYFISH IN DISGUISE?!?!
His body grew sweaty in places where sweat does not usually form. He wanted the kale, he wanted it so badly, but how could he express that to the vegetable in an appropriate yet eye-catching manner?
The kale must have sensed his anxiety, because suddenly, it’s strokes turned into caresses. The kale looked up at Misha suggestively, and within minutes they were doing a metaphorical dance… If you know what I mean.
Just making a random post for the Mainsha Military. All hail the kale overlord.
why can't they have the gishwhes chat room up all year
i miss mainsha
How about a healthy start to the week? Have you jumped on the kale trend yet?
Mainsha Appreciation Video
Mainsha, I dont really know what to put here because all of us at Mainshas Military have already said what we need to say in the video but...