It’s time to celebrate his wonderful life that makes so many other people happier with their light, charism and their art! Long life, babe!
"So, thinking about the draw to faith and spirituality [in the work], I think it's more about the breaking of faith. It's about growth, really. I'm drawn to that, just widening. Widening consciousness. Widening the heart, maybe, as well."
“If I am in fact thick, my god, that’s the dream. Because when I was a kid I was the opposite, I was a streak of piss as you might say. So any thickness, or anyone claiming thickness, I appreciate.” - Andrew Garfield [x]
Please reblog and comment inlace of liking, pretty please.
Previous Chapter: Life Unknown
Pairing: Link/Alex Goodrich x Fem! Reader/OC-ish.
Content Warnings: Slight anxiety attacks, Link sends his fist through a wall, flashback heavy. Talking about aggression, mentions of broken noses. Intense arguing. I'm sure I missed something, let me know!
Waves crushed in over his feet, the soft sand beginning to sink beneath him. He was locked in place watching her talk with her friends by the fire. She glowed in the light of the fire, her eyes brighter than the fire and the moon.
Waves crashed back in over his feet, he watched everything wash back out. He let go of the breath he was holding. Sudden hands on his back brought him back from whatever world he had landed on and pulled him back to this world.
Her world.
“You were great out there tonight.”
His heart felt stuck in his throat as he gazed down at her. His lips turned up into a smile, his arms coming down to swallow her whole as he pulled her against him.
“Yeah? Thought I looked silly out there, I got all nervous knowing you were watching me.”
Her head threw back in a laugh like it always did, the childlike joy filled their own little bubble.
“I’m serious!” He shouted in a laugh, his nose against her forehead. “Thought of such a pretty girl got me all sweaty in the jersey..the jersey you’re wearing by the way.”
(Y/N) faked a gag, shrugging her shoulders causing the lacrosse jersey framing her to slouch slightly.
“Mhhm well maybe I should stop coming. I'd hate to ruin your college scouting..” (Y/N) spoke up to him, her eyebrows raising.
“No, no you’re my good luck charm, need you there.”
“I’ll be there..always.”
“You better be.”
-
Sun warmed his face, as Alex’s body jarred forward waking him up from his memory. Alex swiped at his nose, blinking a few times waking up from his long nap. Fairfield County was a welcoming sight.
Not.
He stood from his spot on the greyhound, watching the young mother and her daughter who sat next to her file out first. The little girl looked up at Alex smiling at him, and Alex smiled back before dropping his head. He grabbed the small grey bag off the seat next to him and jumped off the bus pushing the glasses to his face.
He felt like a ghost here. Fuck, he was a ghost here. He wished his parents luck in talking their way out of this one. Alex, head down, took off up the street walking the square. Talking himself up to make the trip to his old subdivision, hoping he can keep whatever demons at bay. He watched a group of boys in jerseys cross the street laughing, lacrosse sticks over their backs.
He loved lacrosse. It was the one sport he actually enjoyed, and maybe it’s because it let him exude just enough aggression to get by. He had done wrestling but biting got him disqualified, he did boxing but you can only break so many noses before people start asking questions. Lacrosse though. Everyone there was aggressive, most of the boys on his team were put on the team by the school psychologist to help them vent their issues. Alex found it funny that his aggression almost got him a free ride to college solely due to being hidden in his athletics.
Alex had gotten caught up looking at the past, he didn’t see what was in front of him. Literally.
“Oh my god I..I’m sorry.”
Alex hit the ground, the woman’s bag she was carrying dropping and scattering her groceries all over the street. The small girl holding the woman’s hand gasped. Alex put his head to the concrete, anger rising in his chest. He squeezed his eyes tight, taking deep breaths calming himself down before speaking.
“I’m fine. I’m okay it was my fault I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“Neither was I. I’m so so sorry.” She laughed nervously. It twisted in Link’s chest. It was all too familiar, and the eyes peering up at him made him sick to his stomach. The knife in his stomach twisted deeper as he saw the moment of recognition wash over her own face. Two ghosts staring back at each other.
-
“You can’t do this. You can’t just disappear.” Alex’s jaw twitched as hot tears poured down his face looking at (Y/N). He unpacked her clothes as she tucked them away. “It’s not disappearing if I tell you where I’m going.”
Her words didn’t sound like her own. It was distant, void of the warmth she usually spoke to him with. “I have to go okay, Link. My mom and I don’t have a choice. Okay. There’s money involved and..and she made a legally binding contract or whatever.”
“With who? Your aunt that you two have to disappear? You can come live with me, my family won’t care they love-”
“I can’t be with you Alex! Okay, do you fucking understand that? We’re just kids, everything is so..compli-” It was ‘Alex’ that set him off. She never called him that.
“I’m complicated. That’s what you’re trying to say. You’re giving up on me like everyone else huh? Huh!”
(Y/N) flinched as he yelled. Tears rolled down her own cheeks and she choked on her own tears. He didn’t care. She was leaving him, she didn’t have a right to be crying. He didn’t know what happened next, he doesn’t remember it. It was like he woke up after seconds of black, his hands through the drywall of the tiny house he’d loved in comparison to his family's estate. (Y/N)’s mom stood in the doorway of the bedroom he’d spent hours in.
“You should go, Alexander.” The older woman spoke softly, with a motherly tone. There was something they weren’t telling him. (Y/N) started to run after him as he walked up the wall. Her mom held her back as she cried for him.
-
The girl he loved was a woman now. Standing before him in sundress and her hair pulled back into a butterfly claw clip that matched the little girls. One thing that didn’t change was the gold ‘A’ that hung around her neck, now joined by a golden ‘P’ on a smaller chain. The little brunette girl that had been holding (Y/N)’s hand had bent down picking up his sunglasses and items that fell from his bag.
“‘ere you go, sorry.” She spoke with a speech impediment that impaired her ‘r’s. But she had tried really hard in pronouncing them so that (Y/N)’s lips curled up into a reflexive smile, patting the girl's shoulders.
“When did you move back? Wh-..” His face twitched in confusion. His brother surely would have known and would have told him.
“Two years ago.” She spoke, pulling the girl back into her side. Playing with her brown curls. “I tried looking for you but..I was told that you..well weren’t around anymore.”
“I wasn’t technically. But..”
“Mommy can we please go? I wanna show Addie my new toys.” Alex’s eyes wandered her fingers for any sign of a ring. Mommy? She’d had a child? She couldn’t be more than eight years old. She’d moved on so quickly after him when he never did. (Y/N) took a shaky breath, smiling down at the girl.
“Course baby. Huh, Link..it was nice to see you.” He felt like he was stuck in slow motion as she turned away from him. “Wait, wait.” He rushed after her, hands shaking. “I uhh..do you have a number I can call you on?”
She hovered for a moment, she seemed paranoid looking around and even past him. “Yeah.” She let go of the little girls hand, digging in her bag for something. She slipped a yellow card into his hand, and for a minute let their hands linger on one another. He wonders if she can feel the heartbeat in his fingertips, and his eyes begging her to stay here for moments longer.
“You look good.” She smiled. “I didn’t care much for you blonde.”
She’d kept up with him, hidden in plain sight. That made him feel good, to know she’d at least watch from a distance.
“I didn’t either.”
Her hand left his, and took the little girl's hand back in hers. “Let's go P.” She said sweetly, the little girl waved at him. “Bye!” She yelled as she walked down the street, (Y/N) looking over her shoulder at him catching one last glance.
-
“You knew? You knew she was in town and you didn’t tell me. You didn’t mention it in a single phone call.” He yelled at his brother as they stood on the back porch of his childhood home.
‘I didn’t think it was important.” Ben says calmly. “And I thought it would make you spiral to know she had a kid.”
“No, I'm spiraling now because I had to find out this way.”
“It was almost a decade ago, she left you and you burnt down a school in retaliation. I’m sorry for thinking it would send you down a rabbit hole of anger.”
Link could feel his eye twitch, he reached up scratching his face with his free hand. Flicking a cigarette with the other. Ben stared at him, having more to say but holding it back. He felt sick to his stomach, like he could crawl into bed and simply rot. A part of Link always hoped that she’d wait for him, turn eighteen and come and find him. But she never did, which he didn’t make it easier for her. Always moving, not having a phone. They could have had a good life. Maybe had she never left he would have gotten help sooner, maybe they’d have a white picket fence life. He thinks about the life he could have had. Coming home from a long day at work, a suit and tie for some silly office job he’d gotten to support them. He thinks about kissing his highschool sweetheart hello and watching their daughter playing.
Then, in the middle of it, he remembers sending his fist through the drywall of her room simply because he was angry and didn’t know where to put it. Though he knows he’d never hurt her, or his metaphorical child he feels sick. He hates himself.
“I loved her. So much, and I was devastated when she just up and left and wouldn’t even tell me why. You knew that, you knew how much that meant to me. I still love her.”
“You don’t know her anymore. She doesn’t know you anymore, okay?”
“I could though. I could love her, and she could find something in me to love again.”
Ben was biting his bottom lip, Link knew his brother's heart hurt for him. But Link could also read people, way better than he’d like to admit he could, and Ben was hiding something.
“I’m gonna call her.”
Alex grabbed the sliding glass door of the house that led into the casual sitting room. As he walked in, his hand fishing inside the bag on the couch for his phone he heard a voice that stopped him in his tracks.
“Son..” His father’s voice filled the room, that fake politician's smile on his face. And if Alex knew how to fake one thing it was a smile.
“Dad, hi.”
His father took a couple steps in hugging his son to his chest. “So good to have you home. We have a lot to talk about.”
Alex hugged him back with one hand, feeling like a little kid again. “That we do.”
me, currently trying to figure out if i'm jealous of maya hawke for getting to kiss andrew garfield in mainstream (2020) or if i'm jealous of andrew garfield for getting to kiss maya hawke in mainstream (2020): it's going
