#makeitstophurting

[annejae]

Lonely

I’m so lonely I can’t sleep. Breathing is hard and everything hurts.

[startpausecontinue]

Something different

I know this is a little strange for me to actually post words, or anything at all for that matter, but I need to vent in a way, and I don't have the time to go to the park and punch things until it hurts.

So I don't know if this happens with anyone else, but I feel like my life is hard, really hard. And I'll just try to survive it everyday, watching people cruise through their lives like it's nothing. (and yes, I understand that everyone's life is hard, that it's a matter of perspective, but there has to be some basis that people can rate how hard they work compared to other people) So if we accept that, lets say you have, i don't know, a roomate, and you've lived with this person for lets say over a year. In that span of time people will get to know eachother pretty well to some extent, I still keep a lot from him, and i'm sure he does too. But one thing that we both know for sure is eachothers scheduales. 'Hey, when are you going to get home' 'Oh, you have work tonight, when are you getting back' 'Bro, do you wanna watch a movie after classes?' So if you can tell that your schedule is maybe twice or three times as hectic and filled with other shit (classes, jobs, travel time, etc.) What would warrant the other member to completely breakdown and crumble under the weight of something so small comparitivly to something else that you're lifting and carry with you day to day? 

Maybe im reading too much into it, maybe im just jealous that he has enough time to go visit family when I haven't seen mine in over a year. Maybe im angry that his weakness broke certain promises he made. Maybe im depressed because im running myself into the ground and just need a break. Maybe im psychotic for thinking that anyone should try to handle their life the way I do. Maybe im just not seeing it from his point of view, his naive  weakling point of view... Maybe im just hungry... Maybe I just want to punch something until it doesn't hurt anymore...

Idk, life just seems stupid when surrounded by stupidity, whether it be self inflicted or portrayed by others. What do you think?