late realisations
okay, it’s a new beginning...
When I stepped into college life after school, unlike everyone else who carried high expectations and hope, I was just curious. Ready for whatever was coming next. Like a soldier waiting for the enemy’s next move on a battlefield.
Even now, I still don’t know why I went to the beauty parlour and got my hair and eyebrows done. Did I want a fresh beginning? Maybe.
But even though I looked ready, that readiness was never for a fresh start.
It was for war.
A war I expected in every possible worst way.
After surviving for two years, I had already given up on the idea of “new beginnings.” Long story. But still one of the most important chapters of my life — a chapter I’m proud of.
I learned.
I was hurt.
And somehow, I still managed to get back up and finish those damn two years.
Even though my social circle was huge and loud and funny, sometimes I felt like a ghost.
Imagine being a ghost in a class of sixty people.
They laughed, enjoyed, lived...
while I stood at the side wondering why I even existed.
I had my reasons though.
I was completely different from them.
But I still tried my best to blend in.
And honestly?
That only turned me into a clown.
Forget it.
(Maybe that's why I expected wars and threats instead of fresh beginnings. Being in survival mode had killed those feelings inside me)
That chapter is over.
Now, in this new one...
I was warned about snakes.
By seniors, cousins, Instagram influencers — everyone.
“They’ll backstab you.”
“They can be anyone you trust blindly.”
But has anyone ever warned you about wolves in sheep’s clothing?
When a snake bites, antivenom might save your life.
But wolves?
When they bite, the wound feels more fatal than venom itself.
A snake leaves after it bites you.
A wolf won’t.
It sinks its fangs into you and stays long enough to watch you bleed.
And wait —
I’m not glorifying snakes here.
Both are dangerous.
I’m just warning you about something worse...
something you might never see coming.
like you know....
the scariest people are never the loud ones.
they don’t arrive with warning signs hanging around their necks.
they don’t hiss like snakes.
they smile.
they help you.
they sit beside you when you feel alone.
they learn your wounds carefully, not to heal them...
but to know exactly where to tear you apart later.
and the worst part?
sometimes they don’t even hate you.
because hurting people makes them feel powerful for a moment.
because they need someone weaker to stand on so they can feel taller.
that’s why wolves in sheep’s clothing are terrifying.
they enter your life looking harmless.
soft voice.
kind eyes.
perfect timing.
and before you realize it, you are trapped
trauma from snakes can be cured. But this one is really going to destroy
maybe that’s why i stopped romanticizing “new beginnings.”
because every beginning carries the possibility of meeting another disguised monster.
(In colleges it can be really fatal...why?
because in schools all students are about our same age. Or younger...mostly in teens. But here the people are not teens.
I am saying again my dear friend. They are not just hormonal teens. ifykyk)
but still...
here i am.
walking into another chapter anyway.
not hopeful.
not fearless.
just wiser.
and this time,
I’m learning the difference between people who hold your hand...
and people who wait for the perfect moment to tighten their grip around your throat.
(Guess I'm still in survival mode lol...anyway prevention is better than curing .😭😭😭)
