When I die I want the world’s saddest funeral ever. I want people crying so hard they can’t cry anymore and everyone to wear black and make a big thing out of being sad for the entire thing.
Then I want them to go to the room next door, or rent a hall or something and have a big party with Fifteens and Malteaser squares and beef sandwiches and have a grand ole time with music, comfy seats and maybe bubble wands for the children.
I get why people don’t want gloomy funerals and maybe not even a funeral at all, but in my experience, a really good sad funeral with lots to organise asap after a death then a happy party afterwards is so much healthier than just doing nothing. The entire process is designed to help you grieve and it really does help to have a period where you can just be mind-meltingly sad and then you can begin to transition into getting used to their absence with the party. Because eventually you get to the stage where you still miss them, and there are still nights when you cry because they’re gone, but when you think of all the happy times you can remember how wonderful they where instead of just breaking down.