#mama nat

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Kate: UGH! I am just so frustrated!! Can-can I curse?

Natasha: Go ahead.

Kate: SHI—

Natasha, amused: Go on.

Kate: I’m nervous !!

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Kate: The hospital said I was fine.

Natasha: No, you suffered a traumatic experience.

Kate: I barely remember it. I remember crashing into the wall and the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Natasha: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.

Kate: Then what was the siren?

Natasha: That was Wanda screaming.

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Natasha: It’s not gay if I want to date Wanda, but as colleagues, right?

Clint: I am no expert, but that sounds pretty gay.

Kate: I am an expert. That’s gay.

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Natasha: Why are you wearing a purse?

Kate, showing new bag: It’s not a purse, its a Louis Vitton backpack, and its unisex!

Kate: Question— does the devil wear Prada?

Kate: I don’t know, but the Black Widow does!

*hands Natasha a Prada leather jacket, Natasha looks at it confusedly*

Kate: And Wands, I have nothing up my sleeve, except…Hérmes scarves !!

Wanda, excitedly: Oh my god !!

Natasha: Katie, where did all this stuff come from?

Kate: Uncle Tony! He even gave me this Cartier, cause I’m his favorite Hawkeye !!

Natasha, sighing: All right, that’s it! I am going to go talk to him.

Wanda, already wearing the scarves: Nat !! Wear your Prada !!

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*talking about Wanda*

Kate: She’s into you.

Natasha: No she’s not.

Kate: She’s totally into you!

Natasha: No she’s not into me!

Kate: She’s throwing signs your way, could NOT be clearer.

Natasha: She is not into me, end of story.

Kate: She’s been trying to hang out with you for a while now, though…

Natasha: She’s been trying to let me down gently in person, like inviting me to movies and amusement parks, trying to soften the blow.

Kate, reading text messages: No dude this is pretty clear. She says right here, “I like you”!

Natasha: Great! Friendzoned again!

Kate, facepalming: NO !

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*Natasha looking over a mission report in her office*

Natasha: Hmmm—

*Kate popping up out nowhere*

Natasha, flinches slightly: Woah, hey!

Kate: Last night I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup… and you were mustard

Natasha:

Kate: Which is weird because you’re usually mayonnaise in my dreams

Kate: Why do you suppose that is?

Natasha: *sighs*

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Kate: *clicks pen a few times*

Natasha: *clicks pen back*

Clint: Stop that!

Kate: Stop what?

Clint: You are talking about me in morse code!

Kate, sarcastically: Sure, yeah that’s exactly what we are doing.

Natasha, sarcastically: Yes, in our very limited time, and with our limited budget, we went out and took a class on a very outmoded, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.

*cut to just Kate and Natasha*

Kate: Yup! That’s exactly what we did.

[hislittleraincloud]