Hey Vex, SlayBelle’s Bitty Hell has given me permission to ask for a adoption scenario for the poor returned Corny in their fanfiction "Don’t ask if I’m happy, at most I’m not sad". I want to give this sweet baby the loving home he truly deserves. ❤️
> You can read the fic here (WARNING: angst, accidental slight injury)
*When you first called Vex to ask about adopting the returned Corny bitty, she told you it might be best wait. The Corny would need some time to process the adoption that hadn’t worked out and regain some of his Corny mojo. Time had not helped. Though the Corny had not worsened, his state of depression had not lifted at all.
*The returned Corny had no interest in planning pranks in the Corny War Room under the anti-venom fridge. He didn’t devour his McNuggets with any sort of gusto. He just blinked when the other Cornies tried to set up puns for him. Some kindhearted Papythons even went so far as to ask him about “Updog,” but even that joke felt old and tired to a depressed Corny. When Vex called you for an intervention, you hurried to the shop immediately.
*You spotted the returned Corny right away. The other Cornies may have been sleeping too, but they all looked vibrant with wide smiles on their snoring faces. The returned Corny laid awake, staring silently at the floor. He looked faded and worn, and it broke your heart to see a jokester lamia without any joy in him. You grab a cushion and sit down next to him. He glances at you, but doesn’t speak or move.
*You ask if he’d like o sit in your lap and get some nice body heat. He shrugs, but when you hesitate he actually lifts his head and nods, very slightly, just once. Progress. “Onto the cob you go, “ you say gently, setting him on your leg. He blinks, trying to figure out if you’re punning at him. No response, so you try again. “Ah, that was probably a bit too corny for you,” you admit. “If you’ve got a better joke though, I’m all ears.”
*He blinks again, and you can see deciding if he wants to respond. If he wants to give you a chance. If he wants to try a new home. He peers up at you earnestly. “i hope you don’t mind if my voice is a little husk-y,” he tries. The joke falls a bit flat, but it makes you smile to see him make an effort. “A little husky, huh? Well, that’s fine with me. I love puppies.” And there it is. The corner of his mouth quirks. He can’t help it.
*You spend the rest of the day in the shop with the Corny, occasionally exchanging terrible puns, but mostly just giving them the precious McNuggets of physical affection that he’s been starving for. Finally, after a long companionable silence, you offer to take him to the front desk and sign for his adoption. He offers you no pun, just a relieved hug and a nod.
