My bitties and I have settled into a routine. We get up. We hang out. We go to sleep. But that routine was shattered recently. The doctor I’ve been seeing for one of my problems needed to retire rather suddenly. This meant I had to start seeing a new doctor, and for me, that was terrifying. I’ve had three really bad matches for doctors for this same condition, so I was worried it would be a bad match again.
Because of this, I brought three of the four of my current bitties with me to the first meeting. Hemlock, my King from @vex-bittys, stayed right next to me and watched everything with suspicion. Gates, my Papython from @vex-bittys, stayed in my lap and kept interrupting me whenever my fidgeting turned too destructive. And Dijkstra, my Krait from @vex-bittys, was hanging by my ear and distracting me with questions about my current programming project. My fourth current bitty, Plato the Endogeny from @sometimesanartdragon, stayed at home where they weren’t going to make a mess of an exam room.
Part of preparing to meet with the new doctor was retaking some of the diagnostic tests. One revealed that even though I’ve made huge progress from where I was, I still have a long way to go before I’m anywhere near normal. Because of this, my new doctor suggested I try out a different form of treatment, one that would require daily sessions for several weeks.
The first day of my treatment, I only brought Dijkstra and Hemlock. More accurately, I only brought Hemlock, but Dijkstra snuck his way into my pocket, so he came, too. He was very excited about all of the machinery and was asking questions constantly.
Unfortunately, he distracted Hemlock, the doctor, and his assistants so well that they missed how much pain the treatment was causing me. I spent a great deal of the rest of the day trying to calm the pain responses down. Dijkstra felt very guilty and decided to hide in a towel nest for the rest of the day. Plato decided to join him. We had to un-goop them and give them both separate baths.
The next day of treatment wasn’t much better than the first. Hemlock was very insistent that they do something differently, but no matter how they changed the settings on the machines, it still hurt. Hemlock got very upset and insisted they stop.
They asked me to come in one more time. They planned to start again from the beginning, this time without the distraction of an excited little Krait asking them questions. It took a long time to convince Hemlock to let me go in again. He didn’t like that I kept getting hurt and nothing he could do could prevent it. It didn’t help that I wasn’t exactly certain that I wanted to be going back in. It had been a lot of pain, and I couldn’t take my anxiety medicine during this treatment.
Hemlock, Gates and I arrived on the third day. Gates had decided to come with me because of how much the anxiety was affecting me. He was the only one who really wanted to be there. The redo took a lot of time, and it went through a lot of pain. Gates kept my hands occupied through it all. At the end we found some settings that, while they hurt, were manageable. Hemlock wasn’t happy, but I was willing to try to see this through.
Day four almost felt like day two. A different nurse was running the machine, and she insisted we needed to increase the dose. It hurt a lot, but I tried to hide it from Hemlock. He didn’t buy it, but he did let me finish the treatment. Unfortunately, he had to help me through the rest of the day as my body had several side effects from the treatment plus continued pain signals.
Today is going to be day five, so we’ll see how it goes. Hemlock is just barely shy of insisting we call it off. If it is at all like the previous days, I’m inclined to agree with him.