#mamawriter

[mama-writes-a-novel]

Day 3

I did not post yesterday. It was my first day off and I just slept and wasted time in my phone (when I wasn’t playing with Baby of course.)

It was also terribly hot. I went to get my bike from the bike shop and nearly passed out on the way home. I really want to get into the habit of biking, so I’m going to bike tonight after I put Baby to bed.

I should have written last night. My partner played video games and I should have done it then but I just couldn’t. I even got on the app that prevents me from being on my phone.

I think in order to combat this I have to rely on routine. I heard this on a podcast about working out. The person said, you can have a bad workout, but you just can’t skip it. That’s what I’m going for tonight.

I listened to a podcast with Austin Klein, ironically he was talking about biking while I was biking. He is such an exuberant creative mind. I’d really like to let him inspire me towards something great.

[aimeesuzara]

FilAmHistoryMonth Notes Day 12: those who said writing is only about discipline…

…didn’t have a 2.5 yr old yanking on their pant leg

Saying “siéntate conmigo mami” while asking

To watch The Nightmare Before Christmas the 10th time

And you give in; partly because tonight you are too exhausted

To offer another activity involving more of you

And then you are cooking dinner and it is 830pm which should be bedtime

After you drove in traffic after teaching and grading all day

As you do each day along with various other jobs

And once again did not get to eat with presence / watch a grown up show / lay down / write / read, all which you crave since all year

And writing is what you want to do more than all and it may occur only after he is asleep

And the dishes are undone and you ply yourself up from falling asleep putting him down

And this is a Filipino American history month post because

Writing is how we record our untold histories in the present

Writing is so important that I am reawakening to do it despite everything in me wanting to rest

The only thing more important is my child sleeping beside me and it is for him

That I motivate myself to write something, anything

Writing saves our lives but writing costs something too

[aimeesuzara]

FilAmHistory Month Notes Day 3: to my son whose first tongue is our first colonizers' (excerpt)

Cuando tu dices “mama! mami!” it is with a Spanish accent

which, despite me blundering my tenses and frequently

consulting with Google Translate for vocabulary I do not know,

you have become your own speaker....

We had decided, even before you were born,

that you’d be bilingual, hopefully trilingual

as my parents would infuse you with Tagalog speech,

in a way that I could not.

Spanish is our shared colonizers’ tongue,

and for us, before English.

And so you link your Cuban father and I

in your preferencia por el Español.

You’ve got the forked tongue that Anzaldua

wrote about; the idioma mixto that is,

para ti, normal. Es tan común.

And because of you, I must advance,

fast enough to stay ahead of you.

You’ve already corrected me,

when I said bote instead of bota

(just the difference of one syllable!)

and one day, you’ll teach me

something new; no, you’ve already

taught me plenty.

You seem to beckon

ancestors around you

because your name

originates before any

of these conquistadores

ever forced on us theirs.

I imagine them sitting round you,

admiring your ability

to speak to each one of them,

with ease.

[sonyoestavillo]

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