Cupid oh Cupid I humbly request that you listen to my nasty freak jade leech agenda 
This man is the freakiest of freaks, but in the way that he would absolutely love to piss you off
this man would take one of your pillows not in a cute way just say a genuinely creepy way like he would take it and switch the pillowcase with one of his and then secretly freak out over the fact like
‘oh my God they have one of my pillows’ and then think of some weird shit like ‘I wonder if they dream about me more now that they have one of my pillows because I dream of them all the time 🩵’
mf has the DIRTIEST mind ever he would piss you off just so you come and yell at him and as you’re yelling at him, he is staring into space thinking of the freakiest things ever
‘Ahhh 😌 their voice is so nice yelling. I wonder what they would sound like [insert freaky FREAKY scenario here]’ <— as you’re literally grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him in rage
The worst part is he’s trying to piss you off and the second you’re actually mad at him? FREAK
All it takes is bending over to grab something and his mind is going wild (he would push stuff off counters just to look like a fucking cat with the most polite smile on his face)
I have more thoughts, but that’s enough for now…
Anyways spread the nasty freak jade leech agenda 💚
(So sorry if request were closed, I looked and didn’t see anything like that so)
nasty jade leech thoughts
jades such a dirty little ragebaiter that he will piss you off just to see you mad and shout at him then goes to imagine a totally intimate scenerio where you say his name like that from his words.
he is the worst kind of pervert because theres no in-between with him.
he has the exact same pen set as you, what if one day he swaps then when you aren't looking. then you go to write something using his pens! inside hes shaking with joy and the idea of you being married and sharing your whole life together.....
this is just the first step though. its even worse when doing sports.. as i said before in my nasty jade leech post.. youve been running around alot on the field, obviously you would sweat and try to catch your breath. thats when jade would be by your side in an instance, holding a water bottle above your head as you try to steal it and he's just enjoying seeing your sweaty form, many different thoughts all coming through of you being like this in more secluded spaces.
maybe he should take you on a hike, a more long and treacherous path that would have you sweating profusely, the privacy is also a added bonus..
" mf has the DIRTIEST mind ever he would piss you off just so you come and yell at him and as you’re yelling at him, he is staring into space thinking of the freakiest things ever " THIS IS INCREDIBLE. EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS.
and not even while your yelling at him, it could just be a simple situation like studying together in the library. your calmly explaining your thoughts on the subject, allowing him to correct you if your wrong.
unfortunately its jade whose sitting across from you and he actively acting like hes invested when his mind is completely off the rails, thinking about how lovely it would be if you could study some other way (preferably you in his lap and his fingers being used more effectively).
you stop talking when noticing the nasty grin on his face at this, completely concerned and disturbed as what did you say about magic history that has him looking like the grinch.
"All it takes is bending over to grab something and his mind is going wild (he would push stuff off counters just to look like a fucking cat with the most polite smile on his face)" hes such a whore (negative i hate him/j) . and it would happen more frequently if you work at the lounge aswell, he would purposely but objects you need in the weirdest positions.
"Jade, do you know where the forks are? A table doesn't have enough.."
"I believe the forks are under the sink."
you let out a big sigh and bend down in a comprising position in the cupboard under the sink to grab them and jade is just standing behind, congratulating himself in his head on what a good idea this was as if it wasn't obvious.
next your going to find the glasses ontop of a shelf you cannot reach at all and here jade comes graciously offering you to sit on his shoulders so he can lift you up. he is living his wildest dreams right now while memorising how your legs felt around his head..
a/n ; aaah anon this is amazing!! i will gladly listen to any of your nasty jade leech freak agenda thoughts and if you have more please share<3 with requests theyre stated in my rules if you wanted to check that out!!
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