I Used To Be An Anti-Cannibis Believer.
I use to be like most people. I believed marijuana was bad that it was the “gateway” to drug addictions. That it made people incapable of being members of society. After all, this is what my school was teaching us. This is what I honestly believed because I was told this was the truth.
I made it through highschool without falling into the traps of pure pressure. I didn’t smoke or do drugs. I tried to follow the rules and do as I was told. Be perfect. I broke up with boyfriends and ended friendships because they smoked pot. I didn’t understand at the time what it actually was and what it could actually do. I just believed it was not good for us.
So let’s fast forward some time after highschool I became a mother. After I had my child I had many health complications. Which led to years of unanswered questions and frustration. I was back in school and raising my child on my own. During this time I was in and out of the hospital. I was prescribed anti-anxiety meds, anti-depressants, morphine, naproxen,T3’s and the list goes on. I couldn’t function or think straight. I was high on pills and so I tried not to take my pills at all unless I absolutely had to.
So 10 months in, from when the pain started before I was diagnosed. I wasn’t able to keep food down. I didn’t have an appetite. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was in constant pain. The pills hurt my stomach even more. Made me less hungry. So I had all these horrible symptoms from the pills on top of my already pending health condition. They didn’t know at the time what they were dealing with so they just kept giving me all kinds of pills. So not actually helping me at all actually making it much worse for me. I ended up just not taking them at all and enduring the pain just so I could do my homework and still be mentally here for my child.
My friend came over one night to help me. I was really struggling that day. I couldn’t move. She walked in my suite and I was curled up on the floor crying in pain feeling absolutely defeated. She said “I can’t stand seeing you this way anymore. We are going to try something different”. She helped me up and held my arm helped me to the deck. At first I was confused but then I realized what she was suggesting. So I sat down and she handed me a joint. I decided I would try anything because I could not take anymore and pills didn’t help me. I was like “what do I have to lose, I’m in pain I just want it to stop” After a few short puffs It felt like the pain was melting away. I started sitting up straight. I was feeling normal and hungry. I remember tearing up and having that breath of relief that to my surprise it was making me feel better. About 30 mins later I was eating and not throwing up and in pain. I even cried when I ate because I was so surprised. That night I slept so good. I remember thinking “was I ever wrong, who knew this could have helped me all this time” I felt pretty ignorant. How could I have been so ignorant towards something that grows in the ground and does less damage then pills. All those times I told people they were wrong for saying it helped them. I argued and said “it’s a drug” . I was the one who was wrong. Until I needed help myself I didn’t understand.
Today it’s been 7 years since the first time I tried marijuana. It has replaced all of those pills. I’ve been surgery free for 6 years. I’ve been able to accomplish so much in that time because I have a way to cope with my condition and mental health. It doesn’t require man made pills that only made me more sick. I was wrong. Everything I was taught to believe was wrong.
Today I am still in hiding because I’m a mom and society believes it makes you bad parent. I use to be like them so I know how judgemental people can be. I use to be ignorant. Marijuana ables me be the parent I want to be. What other parents who don’t need cannabis to manage health problems need to understand is this. Without it I’m physically confined to my bed. I can’t just go play at the park. So many things we take for granted. Don’t. We don’t know what cannabis smoking parents are dealing with and we shouldn’t judge them. Listen to understand. Try to understand what it can really do. It doesn’t make you a criminal or a bad person.