Nigel grinned as he saw that the two men before him had fallen for his bait. Now they were on the hook he could move on with his plan. Nigel stood up slowly and walked over to the blackboard he kept in the corner of the room. Nigel decided a quick test was in order.
“What is this?” Nigel asked the two kippers, while pointing at the black board.
“...A chalk board...” Said Paul Nutall and Mark Reckless in a hesitant unity. They couldn’t be sure if this was one of Nigel’s secret tests or not.
Anger bubbled inside of Nigel “NO!...NO!, NO!, NO!” He bellowed at them. Both men cowered at Nigel’s ferocity. “That is what the barmy lefty’s call them. It’s political correctness gone mad. This is a black board, a BLACK board. Do you understand?” The two chastised kippers nodded in unison. They were both far to scared to speak, lest they earn Nigel’s ire further.
“Good...Now, I am going to write the name of my contact on this board. We can’t be sure who is listening in. So don’t say who it is. Am I clear?” Nigel asked. The cautious kippers nodded again. With their understanding, Nigel began to write the name. As he wrote, Nigel got a whiff of the chalk, it started to bring back memories. Memories of being a young man. Memories of his time at Saint George’s All Boys Academy of British Excellence. Memories of...of, Jenkins. How different would life have been if Jenkins had only loved him back?...No. He had never loved Jenkins. It was a trick by the homosexuals. They had put chemicals in his shepherds pie or something. Nigel steeled himself as he finished writing. He needed to be focused on his course of action. Becoming Prime Minister and saving this country from the immigrants.
Nigel placed the chalk down and stepped aside so Mark and Paul could see the name of his next lead. As soon as they laid eyes on the name they both grimaced.
“Nigel...y-y-you can’t be...y-y-you can’t be s-s-serious?” Stammered Paul
“I hate to say it but Paul is right.” Agreed Mark. Such was the gravity of the situation that the sworn rivals were in agreement.
“I’m very serious. We are going to see possibly the most enigmatic person to ever serve in parliament. We will be visiting...Ann Widdecombe!”