Idea that got bounced around the discord by me, @sweetmeatdale, and @ghostlyhamburger. This au consists of contributions from all of us.
It starts when Marinette and Kagami are spending time together, and Kagami, who has started to realize her own feelings for Marinette, hears Mari say that she’s starting to feel unloveable, like nobody will ever date her. Kagami is infuriated that people have made her feel like that and gets Akumatized such that her powers basically brainwash everyone who has ever felt romantic love for Marinette.
When they find out, Chat Noir immediately recuses himself from the fight. Ladybug asks him to find Adrien instead, because he’s definitely not in love with Marinette, so he should be fine right?
(Chat chokes on his own spit.)
Ladybug is now desperately bouncing around the College François DuPont looking for backup that isn't in love with her and every person she brings a miraculous to is like "nope, liability, sorry"
Ladybug: "ALIX YOU'RE ACE RIGHT"
Alix: "Ace, not aro. Also not blind. Daaaaamn."
Ladybug: "IVAN YOU'RE WITH MYLENE"
Ivan: "Yes but we've both agreed that mari is our free pass"
Ladybug: "GODS DAMN IT. Uhhhh... MARC ANCIEL YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO WOMEN"
Marc: "Not usually, no."
Ladybug: "SHIT. CHLOE BOURGEOIS YOU HATE HER GUTS"
Chloé: "Ladybug. Seriously. You know better."
Ladybug, sighing: "Yeah I do. Aurore?"
Aurore: "She was really nice to me once!"
Ladybug: "Max you're gay right?"
Max: "Statistically—"
Ladybug: "SON OF A BITCH"
Markov: "I cannot feel love."
Ladybug: "YES"
Markov: "However research has indicated that using a miraculous would temporarily give me that ability, and statistically it is most likely that I would fall in love with her."
Ladybug: "FUCK. Okay, Kim. You've known Marinette since diapers and have never felt anything romantic towards her right?"
Kim: "Well, you kinda always wonder about the girl next door you know?"
Ladybug: "Just... just go back to Ondine."
Ondine: “Yeah, I won’t be any help either.”
Ladybug: "You don't even know Marinette!"
Ondine: "Kim showed me pictures!"
Ladybug: “And Alya, Nino, and Nathaniel are all already under her control. This is a disaster.”
