#ao3#ao3 fanfic#writeblr#writing community#archive of our own
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in which a mortal man pushes a vampire to the brink using nothing but poor financial practices
yayyyy
Matilda Wilde, probably: Swear to fuckin' Griffin, the next person who makes a joke about Garou basically being dogs is going to get my TEETH IN THEIR FACE
Markus, presumably slung up on her shoulder but somehow getting out a little notebook to take notes: Got it, got it, I'm gonna guess that werewolves don't like it when people compare them to dogs because wolves and dogs are functionally different animals
Markus: uhh sorry if that's insulting, I guess? I'm still sort of terrified of you and I'd rather not get pulped
Matilda: Okay you're honest, I'll give you slack on this one, but you're still human and therefore ontologically evil so YOU BETTER FUCKIN' WATCH IT.
Markus: on the one hand, RUDE. On the other hand I've seen plenty of humanity with my dad taking us all over so honestly I have to say that's fair
Markus: So what, you don't like dogs?
Matilda: FUCK NO. Wolves are dogs, but dogs are not wolves. They're just so... WRONG. Their faces are warped and twisted to make facial gestures like humans do. They're, fuck. I dunno. Twisted imitations of us, I mean, of wolves. They don't look... right. Like you walked somewhere and saw a goblin and it looks all WRONG, and it was made specifically to kill you, even if you're kin in some way.
Matilda: But it just looks so... wrong. It feels like an insult to the world
Matilda: Also the little bastards never stop screaming at you and trying to bite you
Matilda: Anyway the point I'm making is, no, I don't play fetch and I don't want to go for 'walkies'.
Matilda: UGHHHH
Matilda: Feel dirty inside just saying that.
Markus: So do you have any opinions on the theory of domestication being linked to the way dogs tend to look more like puppies than, say, wolves do, and how its a trend in species undergoing the same thing?
Matilda: Either sounds like Oedipal jokes on a species-wide scale or you weirdos keep giving anything that becomes family a case of baby-face syndrome
Markus: that's fair
Matilda: To which one
Markus: At the risk of getting you mad from a mathematician's answer joke, yes
Matilda: (Legitimately snorts in genuine amusement)
Markus: did i just get a laugh out of you???
Matilda: NO YOU HEARD NOTHING
ALFABUSA GIVE ME AN AUDIOLOG WHERE MARKUS SPENDS THE ENTIRE TIME WITH HIS BOOBS OUT, MATILDA IN HIS CLOTHES LOOKING BUTCH, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS
I have no self-control, so, here is a sneak peak of a project I'm working on.
Audio is by @nostalgiachan in I Write Boys, Not Tragedies
Art by @misopheri
And characters are Boy from HTP, Markus from HTP, and Kitten from HTP (coming eventually lol)
Obviously, a hard work in progress, but like, I really needed to share otherwise I'm gonna collapse from how much work this is going to be. Let me say this, I am not at all envious of what the artists and animators in Hunter the Parenting have to go through for such long episodes. You have my greatest love and encouragement for all the work you guys do!!! PLEASE TELL ME IF IM DOING TOO MUCH IM GONNA DIE!!!!
Ok after seeing that new amani questline (well not "in person", I just read the playthrough threads on twitter. thank you Portergauge) and I think they would get along SWIMMINGLY. and also they should kiss maybe.
"father! Come on! We have to take Grimal with us to Japan, we *have* to. Shes my very good friend, she speaks the language, she has contacts willing to house us and she'd beat me to death with that paddle if I don't convince you!"
"Markus all those things may be true, but we must also consider the other qualities of her character. She's loud! She's eccentric! Her passions possess her! Her whims drive her more then her reason!-"
"so like you?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I'll tell her to pack"
I like how in the main cast, we maintain that "giant primarch" vibes by translating kitten into just a short guy, boy just stays a child and then the Big-D genes just include being 6'4 at the least
