#marlene002

[doe-eyedmeadowes-blog]

Perhaps her mother was right, she was a perfectionist. The spread before her was proof of that. All breakfast foods imaginable were laid out the table before her, it was a Sunday morning and sure, she had gotten in a bit late last night -- she had an assignment in Scotland that kept her away for a few days but merlin, she was glad to be home. 

[perfectsxn]

Finding the Key

Finished Thread: Marlene McKinnon & Regulus Black

Quidditch Pitch; 25 September 1977, just after lunch

Regulus had sat and wondered for nearly a day how he could help Sirius.  He'd done all he could, that he was sure, but the problem was in how different he and his brother were.  Regulus was all logic and rationality, he processed things through to the end and back again, seeing all the angles disconnected from the emotions.  Sirius didn't _see_ anything.  He felt it all and even the feelings he didn't process well.  Regulus didn't know how to help him sort those things.  Clearly Lily didn't' either if she'd been desperate enough to turn to the young Black for help.  And frankly, Regulus could think of only one person who _would_ be of any use in the situation.  The one Sirius was running so dedicatedly from in the first place.  

That was one thing Regulus was sure of.  Sirius wasn't pushing Marlene away because he didn't care.  No, he was running, something Regulus recognized better than most in his brother.  And it wasn't doing him any good, as the girl was letting him get away with it.  Regulus didn't know Marlene, didn't know the details of her and Sirius' relationship as his brother could never really explain it, he just knew that Sirius was a wreck and Marlene was likely the only person who could fix it.  

She didn't make it easy for him, though. He'd hoped to see her at dinner Saturday night but she hadn't shown.  Next he'd hoped to see her at breakfast but still to no avail.  He waited finally he gave up and went searching, a search that brought him to the quidditch pitch in the early afternoon, the sun still high in the sky, just as she was coming down from her flight.  "McKinnon," he called in greeting, his tone polite and detached, not insulting, simply cordial.

Marlene's week had sucked. The only people she'd really talked to were Peter—and she was still seething about what had happened to him—and Remus, in the library. It had been self-imposed, of course, and she didn't hold it against anyone for that very reason; in fact, she had been avoiding Peter and Remus too, until extenuating circumstances had forced their interaction. She'd had three days of classes—however patchy her attendance or attention may have been—and she was sick of it. The weekend, thankfully, had been spent largely outdoors, traipsing around the grounds and taking to the skies whenever she could.

Flying was so useful for Marlene. Being removed from everyone, being high up, being able to fly at breathtaking speeds—it was all what she needed to process things. She'd been forced to think about what had happened, because when she was in the air, with nothing but speed, exhilaration and adrenaline in her lungs and veins, she was left alone with herself, and she had to think about it, which wasn't fun, but running from it wasn't helping and if it was the trade off for the solace she found in flight, she would deal.

She was landing after a long ride, because she needed water—and sugar, if she was honest—when a voice called her surname. She stiffened at the sound of her surname, Sirius' words still haunting her, but the voice wasn't scathing or burning through her skin—it was cordial, and also not something she heard often, except from maybe Amelia Bones.

Marlene looked at the speaker as she dismounted, and immediately had to resist the urge to flinch. Regulus Black. She didn't really know what to do. She couldn't bear to call him Black, not after her fight with Sirius, not yet, so she settled for a jerky nod. ".... Hi." She had no idea whether this was about Sirius or flying or some other sin she'd committed, and she didn't know how to respond. She knew he must have heard of her and Sirius, even if he hadn't actually seen the fight, but she was bewildered as to why he'd come see her. She'd stayed away, and she didn't know what else she was meant to do.

To say that this interaction would be odd was the best that could be said of it.  Regulus had never had much interaction with the blonde Gryffindor girl that didn't consist of Quidditch matches and even then they were never really in contest.  She was a chaser, he a seeker, they only ever saw one another in passing at best.  To be quite honest, Marlene McKinnon was in general more loud and brash for Regulus' taste.  Being in different years and rival houses had kept a comfortable distance between them, though at this moment he wished the last time they had spoken had not been to argue over politics.  

Regulus was nothing if not polite, though, and he fell back on that now.  "I don't mean to interrupt your solitude," he said as he approached the girl, hands slipped comfortably in his pockets.  "I wanted to talk to you about Sirius, though, and I thought privately would be the best time to do so."

The circumstances of their last conversation were not lost on Marlene, but she was fairly certain that he didn't seek her out to continue their discussion. Her suspicions were confirmed when he mentioned Sirius. She immediately stiffened slightly, but she forced herself to relax.

Sirius. He wanted to talk about Sirius. She'd though Sirius had been pretty clear that he didn't need to be linked to her at all—it was impossible to forget, what with you're nothing to me running on repeat through her head—but she didn't have the energy to fight with another Black brother, especially one who didn't deserve it.

"I—right," she said, squeezing her eyes shut for a second before looking him with resignation, her guard up. "Private—yeah, makes a difference from most discussions involving him and me," she muttered, before glancing up at him and straining a smile. "So—what'd you want to talk about? Because if it's about leaving him alone, I mean, don't worry, I got that memo. Loudly." You're nothing to me.

Regulus saw her guard go up, more than it already was, and he couldn't say he was surprised.  He had heard the stories, the things his brother purportedly said to this girl in the morning hours after the party he and his friends had thrown.  This girl, according to them, wasn't blameless either but Regulus wasn't here to place blame.  He was familiar with his brother's temper, he was sure at least some of what he was supposed to have said was true.  And knowing the company his brother kept, he wouldn't put any of it past Marlene either.  But that was neither here nor there, as far as the young Slytherin was concerned.

"I came to ask he opposite of you, actually," he said in response to her words.  "I don't make a habit of intruding in the affairs of other but as this concerns my brother, I've decided to make an exception.  When he's upset or scared, Sirius has a habit of running in the other direction from whatever is troubling him.  I don't pretend to know the extent to which you understand his past but I'm afraid it's had the unfortunate effect of making my brother believe he's not as good a man as I know he is."  His words were becoming more sentimental than anyone outside his family ever would have heard, and he was distinctly uncomfortable, though he forced himself onwards.  "Simply put, Sirius seems to believe you'd better off without him in your life.  His own needs be damned.  I don't know you but I find it hard to imagine anyone is better off without him.  And I certainly know, he is not better off without you"

Marlene had no idea about how he could have missed hearing about the fight, but his first words convinced her he must have, because he wanted the /opposite/ of her? She and Sirius had been explicit in their awfulness, and she wasn't sure why anyone would want to take a volatile reaction like that and throw them together again. But maybe it was his demeanour, or perhaps the thinking she'd had to do, or maybe even just because she was a mess and part of her knew she needed Sirius' help working through her mess of emotions as much as she hated it, but she didn't run or immediately object.

Her expression softened at Regulus' mention of Sirius running. It was not lost on her that Sirius had run from him - not for the purpose of running from him, by proxy if anything, but running from him all the same. She hang expected this level of depth and openness of information from the younger boy, but she knew that Sirius loved Regulus beyond question, and it wasn't a stretch to believe it was mutual - Sirius had a way of inspiring loyalty and love, and who better than his brother?

His words registered. First - SIRIUS YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT HOW COULD I BE BETTER WITHOUT YOU LOOK AT ME but an overwhelming unease was present too, because she understood the feeling Regulus was describing, and if she understood it, it was impossible to believe Sirius didn't. It was his final words that really got her, though. Her knees would have buckled if her mind had let them - she didn't know what to say. She bit her lip. "He -" she began, before cutting herself off. "He's so fucking thick at times," she mumbled, a half-gasp. "How could anyone be better without him?" Regulus knew that better than anyone, and she touched his arm very lightly, before letting go, because she'd always felt for him, but nothing compared to right now. Still, it was hard to believe that Sirius might be better off with her there when so few were. She needed to think about it. "I - is that everything?" and she sounded brusque, and winced. "It's just -" she didn't know how to,explain what she had to do, but he understood Sirius, so he could probably understand. "Time," she managed, looking at him in askance, hoping he understood what she was saying.

Regulus couldn't help a small smirk as she called his brother thick.  Normally the affront, even from one Sirius called a friend, would have rubbed Regulus the wrong way, but in this context her had to agree with her.  Sirius didn't see it, didn't understand just how important he was in the lives of those he chose to associate with.  Regulus may not have used that exact word but he did have to agree.  In this, his brother was thick.  He nodded at Marlene's need for time, understanding her only because he understood Sirius.  The two were more alike than he realized, no wonder they had managed to damage one another so thoroughly.  

The nod was the only response he felt was needed and with that he turned to go.  He only took a step or two, though, before he stopped and turned back to her.  "I don't say this easily or to many people but, I love my brother more than anyone in this world," he said, his words almost grave from the effort it took to utter them in public.  "His happiness is of the utmost importance to me.  I would not seek you out if I didn't believe you were imperative to it."  And, having said what he felt he needed to say, he nodded again, and made his way back to the castle.

[ finished thread ]

[idkwhatiwannado]

Girl’s Afternoon Out

Dropped Thread: Marlene McKinnon & Lily Evans

Grounds - 4 September 1977

Lily had backed herself into a corner.  It was, she realized, nearly impossible for her to hide from James Potter, even if she wanted to.  Not that she wanted to, per say, but she needed to talk to Marlene and she needed to do it away from prying eyes.  And ears, for that matter.   She and James, however, shared a common room - which wasn’t Lily’s fault but still served to make things more complicated - had all the same classes as both were preparing for Aurur training, had all the same friends, and she couldn’t even use Quiccitch practice as a time for guaranteed privacy with her best friend because the bloody witch was on the team.

Which was why Lily had dragged Marlene out to the grounds to go flying and for some very much needed time alone.  The girls had flown for nearly two hours before either was close to ready to land.  They raced through the skies above the pitch, pushing each other to greater and greater speeds though Lily could never quite match Marlene for skill on a broomstick.  They finally and packed their brooms away, collapsing not far from the lake under the shade of a large tree that both girls leaned against, tired and laughing from their last race.  “How do you manage it?” Lily asked breathlessly, still marveling at Marlene’s last burst of speed.  “I swear, it’s like you’ve put a speed charm on that broom of yours, or something.”

Marlene had quite enjoyed the flight. Generally, she associated Frank with just general flying—it had been a specific factor in the night of rebellion that sparked their ultimate mateship that they currently shared—and racing with James, because even though she was always faster, they were both competitive enough, especially with each other, to keep egging each other on anyway, but sometimes she and Lily went. It had always been quite therapeutic for Marlene, because flying was something she was naturally good at, much like Lily and Potions. She was the fastest of their friends even on foot—though by no means the strongest—and she had always been daring, as well as a great love of the outdoors and wild, so racing around outside calmed her down by livening her up. Sirius thought things through with alone time, and Marlene thought things through by flying. That love, combined with her pleasure for some alone time with Lily, made for a good day so far.

Marlene shrugged and grinned, “Well, I haven’t, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she refuted off the bat. “I don’t know—well, I kinda do, but it’s difficult to explain,” she admitted. “Brooms are super instinctive, yeah? Part of their magic is meant to be about the wielder, and that’s something new brooms are always trying to achieve—better control. Anyway, I’m just—I’m a bit reckless, but I’m fast, and I don’t have limits on a broom. I just don’t really see them—bollocks, this is a bit hard,” she said wryly. “James is a good flier, but he’s more technical, and he’s an even better player, so he’s got strategy going, as well as team things, yeah?” she checked. “Well, me—I dunno, it’s like a wand or a patronus. The broom reflects you, kinda, I reckon. The better you are with a broom—and this is usually more natural than something you learn, but skill can definitely improve even without natural talent, and even real naturals can always learn technical stuff—the easier it is to respond to you.” She sighed exasperatedly. “This isn’t making sense,” she muttered. “It’s like in Potions, yeah? I can follow the instructions—usually badly, but theoretically, I can—but you like—you’ve got a knack, you get it, and you can think about it and work out what it means and decipher it like a puzzle whereas I can’t,” she pointed out. “It’s kind of like that—not that you’re bad at flying, like I am at Potions, but it just—it all makes sense to me, you know? It just listens to me. I can’t make a potion do special things for me like you or the git can, but I can get the brooms to work as an extension of me,” she tried, before giving up. Marlene let out a bark of laughter, reminiscent of Sirius. “All the things I’m best at,” she chortled, “are speed and instinct based, and involve knowing things more than thinking,” she laughed. “Like Defense and Care of Magical Creatures—even Charms, kinda, because it’s more creative,” she mused; Lily was better than her at Charms, but Marlene liked it because it suited her personality a lot—not nearly as much as DADA did, though, which was her best subject. CoMC just involved being quick on your feet and trusting your instincts and wits, really, as well as loving the wild things. The one exception to all this were her history-esque papers, but she was really fascinated by ancient magic, and as for the boring stuff… well, she had a good teacher.

"Anyway," she said with a laugh, brushing off all the broom talk as she settled against the tree, grinning at Lily. "You didn’t come out to ask me about how well I wielded my broomstick," she said, eyebrows waggling and laughter in her eyes. "What’s up, Lilyweed?" The only thing Marlene enjoyed about Herbology was the dumb name puns that could be made; usually, people would assume that Lily would get flower-related ones, but Marlene liked to be slightly less conventional, what with her gillyweed. She wasn’t even sure why she knew what that was—probably Peter, really.

Marlene began going on and on about her broom and Lily forgot, as she usually did, that it as always a bad idea to get Marlene going on the subject of flying.  She wasn’t exactly one to complain, given the level of boredom she could inflict herself on the subject of Potions.  The blonde witch did have a point, though.  Lily had always been infinitely better a precise magics, Potions and Charms and History to an extent though that bored the living daylights out of her.  Marlene had a corner on emotion based magics and flying was no exception.  It was too long winded of an argument to get into, though, and so Lily simply laughed as she leaned against the base of the tree, facing Marlene.  

"Nothing is up," she said with a shrug.  Sure she’d dragged the blonde out here for the express reason of talking but - now that they were there - she didn’t want to.  She was in such a lovely mood, she didn’t want to bring up how irritated she was that James was ignoring her, how much it bothered her that she didn’t know why.  She didn’t want to muse over the fact that things were still so hard with Severus - though to be honest she knew better than to bring Severus up around Marlene at all.  No, it was monumentally easier to not talk at all.  "Can’t I just want to spend the afternoon with my best friend without anyone else trying to make me share you?"

[ Dropped Thread ]