When you point your finger at someone...
You know the saying, "When you point your finger at someone, there are three more pointing back at you." Too often people allow blame to separate them, to drive them apart. They are quick to point the finger at their spouse and say, "It's all your fault!"
There are several things going on here. First, there is a failure to accept responsibility for your own actions. No one is perfect - ever. And, as they say, it takes two to tango. It takes TWO people to make a marriage works.
The other thing is the victim mentality. The 'good' spouse may say, "But I haven't done anything wrong!" Well, among the 'wrong' things, you are 1) keeping score and 2) placing all the blame on your partner and 3) you are being a victim.
If your spouse is doing something that hurts you or upsets you, stop pointing fingers. Think about what role you play in the breakdown of the relationship. Whether or not you think you need to leave the marriage is beside the point.
You made a promise before God that you would love this person always.Take your promise seriously and put forth a full effort to repair the relationship and keep the marriage together.
Marriage is not easy. It takes work. It takes commitment. It takes humility. It take responsibility. Unfortunately, these characteristics are not being taught and divorce is as easy as filing your taxer (maybe even easier).
If you are always looking for the faults in your spouse you won't have to look too hard. Just remember, it goes both ways. You aren't perfect either.
Try looking for the good, the positive. What are some good things about your spouse? Sometimes a simple change in YOUR attitude can change your spouse's attitude.
Do you need an attitude adjustment?
Photo by David Castillo Dominici