#married clexa

[talktomeinclexa]

Mend the Heart You Broke (Heal the Wounds You Caused)

By: TalktomeinClexa

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Panic attack

Status: Complete

Summary: Clarke and Lexa led the perfect life. Married, two children, a big house, a group of reliable friends. Until Lexa cheated on her wife and the idyllic picture was smashed to bits. Three months later, Clarke is still trying to put the pieces of her heart together when Lexa slowly comes back into her life. The path to forgiveness will force the artist on a self-introspection journey that won't leave anyone unscathed. But isn't true love worth the fight?

***

Chapter 1: Broken Hearts

Who do you think you are?

Runnin’ ’round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a woman with a battered heart, must drown her sorrows in depressing songs. Clarke muses over the thought as Christina Perri’s ballad voices the pain eating her bit by bit. Outside, rain is drenching the garden and obstructing the windows with thick, endless drops, completing the cliché. It would be almost poetic if it weren’t so ridiculously tragic, and she can’t help but chuckle humorlessly at the dramatic scene.

She stands in front of the sink after lunch, drying the plates, glasses, and cutlery while her children play in their room. The perfect picture of the suburban mom, with shoulder-length blond hair curling at the ends, baby-blue eyes, an attractive figure despite having twins, and close to no wrinkles to mark her almost thirty-seven years on this Earth. A former aspiring artist turned full-time stay-at-home mom whose career is finally taking off now that the kids are in school and she has time to paint. What more could she want?

Distracted by her rumination, she loosens her fingers half an inch too much. The plate, too happy to add insult to her still-opened injuries, slides off the dish towel and comes crashing into the sink. With unmistakable irony, it breaks right in the middle; two parts forever split where they used to be only one. Just like her heart, she thinks, breaking into heavy sobs in the middle of her kitchen.

“Mama? Are you crying?”

Clarke discreetly wipes the tears rolling down her cheeks before turning around to face her son. Her little boy, the one man in her life she loves to the moon and back. She hopes it will be many years before he learns to recognize a genuine smile from the fake one she flashes at him.

“No, honey. I had something in my eyes. What are you doing here? I thought you were playing in your room.”

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[urwarriorangel]

finishing some old Bellamy requests rn! hella fluffy and it involved Clexa and their kids!!!! (which I gave very cute names to)

[talktomeinclexa]

Mend The Heart You Broke (Heal The Wounds You Caused)

By: TalktomeinClexa

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Panic Attack

Status: WIP (2/9)

Summary:

Clarke and Lexa led the perfect life. Married, two children, a big house, a group of reliable friends. Until Lexa cheated on her wife and the idyllic picture was smashed to bits. Three months later, Clarke is still trying to put the pieces of her heart together when Lexa slowly comes back into her life. The path to forgiveness will force the artist onto a self-introspection journey that won't leave anyone unscathed. But isn't true love worth the fight?

***

Chapter 2: Panic

Years of caring for young children have Clarke well trained, and her biological clock wakes her up without the need for any blaring alarm. Blue eyes flutter open, double-checking from the luminosity piercing through the curtains that it is morning, and she rubs them with a groan. A yawn achieves to dissipate the fog of sleep clouding her mind, and she grabs her phone to look at the time.

8:16 A.M. Odd. Aden and Madi are usually awake and demanding to be fed by 7:30, no matter how many times she has tried to explain the concept of the weekend to them. If anything, she could swear that they wake up even earlier on Saturdays and Sundays, the little devils. The silence reigning in the house is suspicious enough that she rolls out of bed and goes to investigate.

The twins aren’t in their room, the futon is rolled back where it should be, and Clarke remembers they didn’t spend the night alone. Where on earth is Lexa now?

As life has taught her, the simplest explanation is often the right one. The artist finds her children sitting at the kitchen table, their little dangling legs impatiently swinging under the chairs.

“Hi, Mama,” Madi greets her with a toothy grin. The little girl hadn’t smiled like that in weeks, and Clarke feels her guilt return with a vengeance. They have to find a way to make it work. If not for themselves, then for the kids. She will be civil to Lexa even if it kills her.

“Hello, babies.”

She places a peck on her daughter’s forehead and one on Aden’s. The boy is giving her his best puppy eyes as if the action can magically make breakfast appear on the table, making her chuckle.

“Everything okay in there?” she asks Lexa, who’s seemingly not moving in the kitchen, her back to the three of them.

When she hears nothing but a sniffle, she comes to stand by her side. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

Lexa shakes her head and stares at the ceiling, doing her best to contain her sobs. Two fat tears escape despite her best efforts, and Clarke rucks her top with her fists, stopping herself from reaching out.

“Do you want me to take over?” she asks instead.

Her wife lets out another sob, halfway between despair and frustration, and nods once. Whatever has her in such distress will have to wait. The twins will soon rebel if they aren’t fed, and neither woman wants them to see Lexa cry in the kitchen.

With practiced gestures, Clarke rushes to prepare breakfast before the situation gets more out of hand. Cereals and milk for Aden, toast with jam for Madi. Lexa passes her things when she asks, otherwise doing her best to stay out of her way. At least, she manages to get her emotions under control, and by the time they all sit and eat, no one but Clarke is aware of her little crisis.

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[talktomeinclexa]

Mend The Heart You Broke (Heal The Wounds You Caused)

By: TalktomeinClexa

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Angst, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts (none in this chapter)

Status: Complete (9/9)

Summary: Clarke and Lexa led the perfect life. Married, two children, a big house, a group of reliable friends. Until Lexa cheated on her wife and the idyllic picture was smashed to bits. Three months later, Clarke is still trying to put the pieces of her heart together when Lexa slowly comes back into her life. The path to forgiveness will force the artist on a self-introspection journey that won't leave anyone unscathed. But isn't true love worth the fight?

***

Chapter 9: Forgiveness Is The Way Forward

October passes in a blur, and no amount of bargaining, pleading, or crying at the injustice can stop the course of time. Soon, the Sunday marking Clarke’s 37th birthday is upon them, bringing her closer to the dreaded 40.

“Remind me why I agreed to this?” Clarke asks as Lexa drives the four of them to Abby’s house for lunch. An invitation the brunette accepted on behalf of the — slightly stubborn — artist before spending days convincing her that it was a good idea.

“Because it’s your birthday, love,” her wife replies with a smile. “She wants to spend time with you and the twins. Besides, she has made lots of effort recently. Maybe it’s time to bury the hatchet.”

“Fine. But if she’s a b-i-t-c-h to you, we’re out of here.”

“B-i—”

“Kids, are you excited to see Grandma?” Lexa asks, interrupting Aden before he can figure out the word. Really, whose idea was it to teach them to spell?

The children’s happy cries lift some of Clarke’s reluctance. She hasn’t spoken to her mother much since “the conversation” — as she has dubbed it in her head. Only perfunctory messages to schedule the twins’ visits. Nothing personal. Abby has apologized to both Lexa and her and waits for her daughter’s forgiveness as she promised she would.

Lexa might be right. It’s time Clarke allowed Abby fully back into their lives. The brunette seems to have found it in her heart to forgive her mother-in-law for her appalling behavior, depriving Clarke of a reason not to.

They park in front of the house a few minutes later, and Clarke’s heart rate picks up again.

“Come on in,” Abby greets them, standing by the door with a hesitant smile. “Hi, kids. My god, you’ve grown at least an inch since two weeks ago! Hello, Lexa. It’s good to see you again.”

“You too, Abby,” the brunette replies without missing a beat, drawing the older woman into a side hug while the twins rush inside, excited to see what’s cooking in the kitchen.

Abby turns her head to face her daughter, her smile faltering slightly. “Happy birthday, honey. I’m glad you came.”

You have to thank Lexa for that, Clarke wants to snap back, stopping herself in time. Her mother is trying, and she promised Lexa she would make an effort too.

“Good to see you too, Mom,” she forces out instead, her smile feeling more like a grimace, but it does the trick.

Despite the blonde’s apprehension, lunch is pleasant. Abby cooked some of her favorite food, and the chocolate cake she ordered is a gift from the heavens. Between the twins’ jokes and Lexa acting as a bridge, the conversation moves from stilted to natural, and Clarke soon feels like her argument with her mother was nothing but a bad dream.

“Thank you for bringing her today,” Clarke hears Abby whisper in Lexa’s ear as they say goodbye.

The doctor is hugging her wife again, longer than earlier, and Lexa holds on tightly until they separate with wet chuckles and wipe away a couple of stray tears. Perhaps it’s not too late for them to build a positive relationship over the ruins of the previous one.

This time, Clarke goes willingly when Abby opens her arms, and she feels her mother sigh in relief.

“Happy birthday again, honey,” the older woman says, placing a peck on Clarke’s cheek.

“Thanks, Mom. And thank you for the food; it was delicious.” Seeing the quiet hope in the brown eyes staring back at her, she takes a deep breath. “Why don’t you visit us next Sunday? We could all go to the park if the weather is nice.”

None of the adults misses the olive branch hidden in the proposal, and Abby gratefully accepts when Lexa nods approvingly. If it goes well, they might invite Gustus next time. Anya and Raven too. It has been ages since their family spent the day together, all in one place.

The atmosphere in the car is lighter on the way back, the cloud of angst and anticipation gone at last. The two women listen to their children sing with a smile, humming a few lyrics here and there to accompany them.

“How are you?” Lexa asks after a few minutes, taking Clarke’s hand in hers while the other remains firmly on the wheel.

The blonde ponders the question as she watches the view through her window. “I’m good. You were right; it felt nice to see her. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her.”

Lexa sends her a smile, squeezing her hand twice. She’s too good to say, “I told you so,” and Clarke loves her all the more for it.

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[talktomeinclexa]

Mend The Heart You Broke (Heal The Wounds You Caused)

By: TalktomeinClexa

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Implied cheating, Angst, Panic Attack, Suicidal Thoughts (not in this chapter)

Status: WIP (3/9)

Summary: Clarke and Lexa led the perfect life. Married, two children, a big house, a group of reliable friends. Until Lexa cheated on her wife and the idyllic picture was smashed to bits. Three months later, Clarke is still trying to put the pieces of her heart together when Lexa slowly comes back into her life. The path to forgiveness will force the artist onto a self-introspection journey that won't leave anyone unscathed. But isn't true love worth the fight?

***

Chapter 3: In Sickness And In Health

We don’t talk about Bruno is playing for the second time already in the 30-minute drive, and Clarke can feel her head about to explode. A runny nose and a stubborn cough prevented her from getting the rest she needed, and now she wishes she could have stayed hidden under her blanket. But that would mean missing day camp and caring for two disappointed children all day. Braving the early traffic and Disney on-loop playlist felt like the lesser evil at the time, although she’s beginning to question her choice. And possibly her sanity when she could swear a dog is driving the car next to hers.

They make it to Camp Chippewa without incident — the grape juice flood of February remains a sore topic — and Clarke lets out a relieved sigh. All she has to do now is get back home. In absolute silence. Never mind the commission waiting for her in her studio. Her bed is screaming her name, and it would be rude to ignore it.

“Have fun, kids,” she sing-songs, trying not to appear too enthusiastic lest the other parents tsk behind her back. A hug and a kiss on the crown of their heads, and she hurries back into her car and out of the parking lot.

By the time she gets home, her headache has evolved into a full-blown migraine. Black spots dance in front of her eyes, and she is shivering despite the warm July morning. Her bed feels miles away, and she collapses on the couch. A short nap before lunch can’t hurt.

---

“Shh. Remember what I said? Light feet and inside voices.”

The sound of hushes and not-so-light tiptoeing drags Clarke back to the land of the living. Her left arm is numb from the way she leans on it, and there’s a small puddle of drool under her chin. When a shadow looms over her — to check if she’s still breathing? — it takes her several seconds to recognize those brown locks.

“Lexa?”

“Hey, there. How are you feeling?”

“What are you—What time is it?”

“7:12 p.m.”

“Fuck. The kids. I have to—”

Sitting up quickly is one of her worst ideas to date. Her head throbs from the sudden move, and her stomach feels wrapped around her spine, holding on for dear life. It’s a miracle she doesn’t succumb to the wave of nausea that follows.

Lexa presses against her shoulders to stop her from falling headfirst onto the parquet floor.

“It’s okay; don’t worry. I picked them up and got takeout for dinner. The camp called me when they didn’t see you at five.”

“Poor babies. I can’t believe I forgot them. I’m the worst mom in the history of—”

Firm hands push her against the back of the sofa, and her limp body caves.

“You’re a great mom, Clarke. You’re sick. It happens. You should have called me this morning. I could have taken them to camp.”

The blonde shakes her head — very slowly — and grumbles, “I don’t get sick. I’m Clarke, like Superman.”

She would be offended by the soft chuckle she hears and glare at Lexa if her wife’s head could stop floating around.

“Okay, Superwoman. Then I guess someone must have slipped some kryptonite into your coffee this morning because you’re burning up and I could hear you breathing from the kitchen.”

God, she could marry that dork. Wait, what?

“I’m always hot,” Clarke replies petulantly, unwilling to admit that her immune system has failed her. Her mother is a doctor, for crying out loud. Young Clarke spent most of her free time at the hospital under the watchful eyes of some nurses and interns. Over the years, she has built the immune system of an ostrich. She hasn’t been sick in ages.

“That, you are,” Lexa concedes with a smile, and the artist feels like she won the argument until a new spell of dizziness has her lying on the couch again.

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[talktomeinclexa]

Mend The Heart You Broke (Heal The Wounds You Caused)

By: TalktomeinClexa

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Non-consensual kiss in this chapter; Panic attacks, depression, suicidal thoughts in other chapters

Status: WIP (7/9)

Summary: Clarke and Lexa led the perfect life. Married, two children, a big house, a group of reliable friends. Until Lexa cheated on her wife and the idyllic picture was smashed to bits. Three months later, Clarke is still trying to put the pieces of her heart together when Lexa slowly comes back into her life. The path to forgiveness will force the artist on a self-introspection journey that won't leave anyone unscathed. But isn't true love worth the fight?

***

Chapter 7: Separation And Reconciliation

The music is already on, blasting through the front door by the time Clarke arrives at Octavia and Lincoln’s apartment. Adjusting O’s present under her arm, she rings the bell twice, preparing herself for an evening of wine, loud conversations, embarrassing stories, and more wine. At least it’s not cheap beer and nothing but unhealthy snacks anymore. Her bladder hasn’t been the same since the cop’s 21st birthday. Which was 15 years ago already. Damn. Time flies.

She’s contemplating knocking on the door when it suddenly opens and she’s greeted by dark curly hair and a grin she hasn’t seen in ages.

“Clarke! It’s so good to see you again.” Strong arms wrap around her, and she finds herself pressed against the chest of her old friend a second later. “I can’t believe it’s been three months already.”

She chuckles and extricates herself from the man’s bear hug. “It’s good to see you too, Bell. How are you? O told Raven and me about your breakup with Echo; I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Oh well.” Bellamy shrugs, running his fingers through his hair. “Don’t worry about it. I liked her, but it wasn’t that serious.”

“I’d better warn the ladies around that Single Bell is ready to mingle then,” she teases before stepping inside the apartment, oblivious to how his eyes follow her.

Octavia greets her with a grin, a wine glass in one hand and Lincoln’s in the other. Happiness looks good on her. Marriage and motherhood made her softer somehow, less abrasive. She is still very vocal about her opinions — nothing on Earth could change that. But she learned to think before she speaks and to take other people’s feelings into consideration. Most of the time.

And Clarke is delighted her friend found love, a kind husband, a career that fulfills her. She knows that the Blakes didn’t always have it easy growing up. Their dad split up before O was born. Money was tight, and they had to grow up faster than anyone should have. Still, a small part of her, the dark, ugly side she tries to ignore on a normal day, can’t help but feel jealous. This should be her, hand-in-hand with Lexa, a smile so big her cheeks hurt. Dancing in the living room among their friends and toasting until they can’t remember anything but good days.

But Lexa isn’t here. She chose to stay home with the twins, not thinking she would be welcome at the party. Not wanting all the attention on her, on them, when their friends — who have all taken Clarke’s side — should be celebrating O’s birthday. The blonde understands; she agreed without making a fuss, not particularly caring to hear everyone’s opinion about how she’s handling the separation. She just wishes it hadn’t come to that.

Soon, the party is in full swing, and everybody is tastefully buzzed. The canapes are delicious, and Clarke makes a mental note to ask Lincoln for the caterer’s name. Not that she thinks she’ll host Thanksgiving dinner, the situation being what it is between Lexa and her, Abby and her, Abby and Lexa… But who knows? Maybe they will all have their shit figured out before Christmas 2030.

Thinking about Lexa brings another wave of emotions that Clarke, with her defenses weakened by the Pinot, struggles to contain. All her regrets, her doubts, her unanswered questions pile up faster than she can handle, threatening to spill from her watery eyes.

Not wanting to become the center of attention, the poor cheated-on wife people will whisper about behind her back, she stumbles into the couple’s room. She sits on Lincoln and Octavia’s bed, wiping away the tears that escaped.

She remains there for a minute, swallowing back her sniffles, head in her hands, when the door opens. Between her fingers, she sees Bellamy walk in hesitantly. The bed dips beside her, and she leans in after one of his arms wraps around her shoulders.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m okay.” A couple more tears roll down her cheeks, the traitors. She hopes that he doesn’t see them. “Just some memories and whatnot. I’ll be fine.”

Bell doesn’t seem convinced, but he lets her have it. His hand rubs circles on her shoulder, comforting her, keeping her close. “It’s okay, Clarke. I know it hurts, but you’re going to be fine. She didn’t deserve you. She never did.”

The blonde frowns at his words and turns around. “No, it’s not like that. She—”

Chapped lips press against hers, stopping the rest of her sentence in her mouth. She can feel his nose pressing against her cheek, his stubble poking her sensitive skin as he puts more pressure into the kiss. Too shocked to react, she doesn’t move until his tongue pushes through her lips, invading her mouth. He tastes like whiskey and tobacco, and it’s the rancidity of it that finally brings her back to her senses.

She pushes on his shoulders with both hands and jerks back, confusion and anger battling on her face. “What the fuck, Bell? What was that?”

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[talktomeinclexa]

Mend The Heart You Broke (Heal The Wounds You Caused)

By: TalktomeinClexa

Rating: Mature

Warnings: None in this chapter

Status: WIP (5/9)

Summary: Clarke and Lexa led the perfect life. Married, two children, a big house, a group of reliable friends. Until Lexa cheated on her wife and the idyllic picture was smashed to bits. Three months later, Clarke is still trying to put the pieces of her heart together when Lexa slowly comes back into her life. The path to forgiveness will force the artist on a self-introspection journey that won't leave anyone unscathed. But isn't true love worth the fight?

***

Chapter 5: Happy Birthday

The following weekend marks Lexa’s birthday. To be exact, it falls on Monday. But Aden and Madi insist that, since they have to go to day camp and their moms are busy, they should celebrate on Sunday. And who is Clarke to refute their logic? Maybe part of her is looking forward to celebrating Lexa’s birth too. Guilt has nothing to do with it, or so she tells herself.

They make a family project out of it. Once the children return from camp, they settle in the living room with paper and enough stationery supplies to open a small store. Madi — the best drawer of the two — decorates the large banner with funny pictures while Aden writes and colors the letters. “Happy Birthday Mommy,” bold and bright, that he copied from the model Clarke wrote.

Minor incident aside — drawing a raccoon, Lexa’s favorite animal, turned out to be too challenging without a model, and Madi almost tore out the whole thing in frustration — it’s a success. They soon have a beautiful banner to welcome Lexa on Sunday.

Despite Clarke’s better judgment, she caves in and buys the balloons the twins insist upon. Colorful ones decorated with “Happy Birthday” and cute smileys. The kinds of things you would find at a child’s birthday, not an adult’s, but she knows Lexa will love them. How couldn’t she not when it is so clearly the twins’ idea?

The only aspect she refuses to compromise on is the cake. She manages to keep a straight face when Madi swears that Lexa loves chocolate and Aden tells her Mommy prefers vanilla. She knows Lexa will sacrifice herself and eat whatever the kids prefer, even a half-chocolate, half-vanilla cake, although she cares for neither. As she has done for years. But since this is Clarke’s chance to do better, to be selfish for Lexa when the brunette isn’t for herself, she buys a strawberry cheesecake. Her wife’s favorite. The smile on Lexa’s face when she sees it will be worth the few disappointed tears she has to put up with.

Between the preparations and the paintings Clarke has been working on, Sunday rolls in quickly. She wakes up in the morning, battles with the children so they eat their breakfast, and makes one final check. Everything is as ready as it will ever be, and by the time Lexa knocks on the door, she is confident the three of them will have a nice day.

“Hi. Come on in,” she says as she opens the door and lets the brunette in.

Her wife looks good, better than she has in recent weeks. Her eye bags appear less pronounced as if she’s finally sleeping through the night.

Lexa hasn’t taken more than three steps inside that shouts catch their attention, distracting them from each other. “Mommy! Happy birthday, Mommy!”

The twins race down the corridor and collide with Lexa’s frame, not giving her time to do more than put one knee down to steady herself. She hugs them tightly, her arms wrapped around their slim bodies. Clarke is ready to bet that if she looked into those beautiful green orbs, she would see tears pooling in them.

“Hi, my babies,” she hears Lexa whisper into a mix of blond and brown hair. “I’ve missed you. Thank you for the banner; it’s beautiful. Did you make it at camp?”

“Mama helped,” Aden reveals, and there’s no mistaking the surprise on Lexa’s face when she turns toward Clarke.

The blonde shrugs, downplaying the whole deal. Why wouldn’t she help their children prepare a cute banner for her estranged wife’s birthday? They would have made one either way. At least the message on this one is spelled properly and the drawings are recognizable.

“Alright, have fun, guys. There’s food in the fridge if you don’t feel like ordering, along with a cake. The weather forecast said it will be sunny all day, so I prepared some stuff in case you want to play outside. I will be back around eight.”

“You’re not staying?”

Lexa’s brows jump up at the question that escaped her lips. She doesn’t take it back, though, and Clarke appreciates the unexpected mark of vulnerability.

“Mama, you have to stay too. It’s not the same without you.”

Madi grabs her wrist to emphasize her point, and Clarke knows she won’t go anywhere that day. Not with how the twins stare at her, big blue eyes pleading and lips pouting as a bonus. They got her stubbornness; she can admit that. But those cute faces and puppy eyes? That’s 100% Lexa.

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[talktomeinclexa]

Mend The Heart You Broke (Heal The Wounds You Caused)

By: TalktomeinClexa

Rating: Mature

Warnings: None in this chapter. Panic attacks and suicidal thoughts in others.

Status: WIP (4/9)

Summary: Clarke and Lexa led the perfect life. Married, two children, a big house, a group of reliable friends. Until Lexa cheated on her wife and the idyllic picture was smashed to bits. Three months later, Clarke is still trying to put the pieces of her heart together when Lexa slowly comes back into her life. The path to forgiveness will force the artist on a self-introspection journey that won't leave anyone unscathed. But isn't true love worth the fight?

***

Chapter 4: Open Your Eyes

“So, how are things going at home?”

Clarke sips through her wine, pondering what to tell Raven that won’t turn into an hour-long convoluted answer. Because the truth is, she isn’t sure about how things are going at home. Not since Lexa is back in her life, and definitely not since her wife — whom she is anything but over — spent three days taking care of her and their children.

A shrinking fraction of her, bleeding, prideful, darker, wishes she could cling to her anger and spit at the brunette’s face. Blame her for everything wrong under the sun and never have to be in the same room as her again. Pretend that Lexa doesn’t exist anymore. Wish they never came to be. Forget how those two emeralds shone brighter than Sirius the day Clarke told her that she was pregnant.

But another, more understanding part of her being tries to convince her on repeat that Lexa is human. She made a mistake, one that she visibly regrets and has tried to apologize for several times. And the day Clarke is finally ready to hear her, she will crawl on broken glass if that is what it takes to earn an ounce of forgiveness.

And between those two antinomic aspects, there is the battered pound of muscle that used to be her heart. The traitorous organ without an inch free of scars that bounces under her ribs every time Lexa comes near her. The voice whispering in her ear at night that they could patch things up if Clarke were to give her a chance.

Because as hard as she tries to pretend she doesn’t notice, the blonde sees how Lexa looks at her. She heard the sweet words whispered in her ears when her wife thought her asleep, lost to her fever. She knows that the other woman still loves her, and that thought would be enough to tear her apart if it weren’t also keeping her whole.

It’s complicated doesn’t begin to describe the mayhem occurring simultaneously in her head and heart. Instead, Clarke opts for a just-as-tame, “Good. Things are good.”

From an outsider’s point of view, they are. As promised, Lexa came back, less than 48 hours after saying goodbye, to spend the day with Aden and Madi. The twins were ecstatic to see her and be with Mommy so much in one week, and Clarke left the house with a smile on her face. And then hid at Raven and Anya’s because she couldn’t bear to spend the day alone in her studio, so close yet so far from her family.

Unimpressed by the meaningless answer, the mechanic presses. “Fine. How was it to spend three days with Lexa then?”

“It was… Honestly, I was out of it for the most part. It was nice, in a weird and dreamlike kind of way. We didn’t talk about the serious topics, and I can’t remember the last time she was home on a weekday, so it felt more surreal than anything. Surreal, but nice.”

Raven snorts at the reference. She never quite understood why Younger Clarke found Hugh Grant charming.

“So, you wouldn’t be opposed to seeing her more?” she risks, making the two other women quirk their eyebrows. Before Anya can tell her to rein it in, Clarke tilts her head, confused.

“You mean, on Saturdays? I’m not sure; we’ll have to see. I would also like to spend time with the twins other than in the evening after school. Besides, I can’t imagine Nia will allow her that much more free time. I was already surprised that she was able to escape work for three days, especially on such short notice.”

A flicker of something travels between Raven and Anya. An awkwardness, a hesitation that makes Clarke’s skin prickle in anticipation of more news she won’t know what to do with.

“What? What was that, right now? What are you not telling me?”

After sighing long and loud, Anya is the one who answers. The annoyed side glance she sends Raven is enough to let her know they will revisit this conversation later once Clarke is gone and Alec is asleep. “Lexa was fired from her job.”

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