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I’m not even sorry for the length of this.
!- MARRIED LIFE
Who was the one to propose: Kilian…no Emma….no….Killian. No…Emma tried to, but Killian stopped her mid sentence and then asked her if she would let him ask her. He then takes her out on the Jolly Roger and makes a whole big scene about it, and eventually gets down on one knee under the stars and asks for his Princess’ hand in marriage. Who stressed more over wedding planning: Snow freaking White. Let’s not pretend like Emma or Killian give two hoots about the ceremony. Killian’s only there to check out Emma in the wedding lingerie he’s heard so much about and she simply wants to perv at him in his best leathers. Snow is the one who goes overboard with flowers, table decorations, colour schemes and cake tastings. Who decorated the house: Emma. Did y’all see that NY apartment? Girl got styyyyllleee. Who is more organized: Killian. God, it has to be Killian. Emma’s all like “wait…where did i put my thing….you know…that thing that i use….um…it holds my coffee….um…wait…mug! That’s the word! Where did i put my mug?” And Killy is all like “bruh, i lived in a tiny ass ship for centuries. All my shit is ship shape. Get it? Ship….shape.” Anyway, he just CLEARLY has his shit more together. Who initiates bedroom fun: Emma. Killian. Emma in public when she wants to make Killian blush in front of her father. Killian when they’re home and he finally gets pay back for all the suffering she put him through in front of David. Who suggested kids first: SNOW FUCKING WHITE AGAIN BECAUSE OF HER BIG MOUTH GOD DAMMIT MOM. But like…Killian wasn’t put off by the idea…and neither was Emma…so they do the do and then da baby comes. Who’s more dominant: Emma likes to think she is, but secretly Killian’s just letting her get away with what ever she wants to do. He lets her boss him around, but in the bedroom, he’s mostly in charge. Unless she’s trying something new and taking him by surprise. Who’s the cuddler: Killy. Baby, squishy, cute Killy. He likes to snuggle into her when she’s sleeping and when she’s cooking and when she’s on the couch watching TV and when she’s doing anything. Because he’s a bby and he likes to cuddle. What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Netflix and Chill. Emma particularly likes watching Killian blush during movie sex scenes, while he mutters about something about privacy. Who kills the spiders: Surprisingly, it’s Emma. Apparently ships don’t have many spiders on board and our little fairy pirate may be more than a little anxious. (Although he claims that she simply gets there first).Who falls asleep first: Emma, because fighting crime and her mothers dinner invites takes up a lot of energy. Who is louder? Well….in bed? Emma….But Killian can’t go to the bathroom in the night with out tripping up over his own feet more than a few times, stubbing his toe on the door frame two or three times, and complaining about the lights blinding him. Emma always wakes up and tells him to hurt himself in silence, to which he usually responds with a very sarcastic, fake hurt quip. Who is more experimental? Emma, but only because Killian doesn’t ever want to push her, so he usually waits for her to lead, and then he’s all in. Unless it involves him dressing up. He’s fine with seeing Emma all dressy, but the second she asks him to put on a costume he’s all like “whhhhyyyyy? whattt iss itttt? It’ll make my hips look biiiiig!” Do they fuck or make love? Both for sure. There’s probably a few rounds of fucking because lets be real here…Killian is one good looking pirate and you never take just one bite of a good tasting grilled cheese, right? You eat the whole damn thing. Then, after a few rounds and a little breather, they make love and they spend a longer time worshipping each other. Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? Hmmmm…..is Smee an option? Emma and Killian walk on board the Jolly Roger and find the dude going ham on himself like Owen Wilson in some shitty romcom. Who comes first? Killian, but not always. Only if Emma’s mean and gets him too riled up too early. He always helps her finish though. Who is better at oral and who prefers it? I think they’re both pretty good, but Killian’s tongue seems pretty skilled….plus..Killian is so focused on Emma, he’s probably too much of a gentleman to let her work too hard on him.Who usually initiates things? Emma’s more spontaneous, but Killian plans things more, so there’s a good mixture of both. Who is more sensitive? Well, when it comes to the kids, or comments on their family life, Killian. He’s a poppa bear and super protective of his little family. Emma’s more sensitive towards her own emotions, something she only shows to Killian, who’s the only person to see her with all of her walls down. Who has the most patience? Killian. He is one patient mother fucker and sometimes it pisses Emma the fuck off.