ok so after i listened to the grits album from when i was 12 i remembered the l.a. symphony album and then i remembered the mars ill album and they’re all on spotify and honestly im crying like a child bc this shit reminds me of my dad and it reminds me of the years before my life went to hell in a very real very permanent way
i have nightmares of my dad but i also know where he is and i have the v dangerous urge to call and ask to talk to him so i can make sure he’s ok
and im drunk and i have a v hard time feeling emotions, processing emotions sober and like, man, why did this have to happen the one night i drank???
im off my meds bc the government wont pay for them until lots of hoops are jumped through (im still on some of my meds but not all of them) and im rebelling like a teenager which is fitting bc the last time i listened to Mars Ill was when i was fourteen
